I Do, I Think
by myheartwonxxo
Summary: "I do," Kurt vowed without thinking, and before the thought even reached his mind, he added, "I think." Immediately realizing what he'd just said, Kurt whipped his head up, but not to look at his shocked fiance - to look at his best friend Blaine. AU.
1. Only if you say yes

_**I Do, I Think.**_

_So, this dance from So You Think You Can Dance inspired this __story: youtu .be / qzLqy3kNdfs_ (Start at 1:08). BEAUTIFUL dance!

**_Summary:_** Blaine gets left at the altar. His best friend Kurt wants to be there for him, but the same day of the almost-wedding is the day he gets engaged.

"I do," Kurt vowed without thinking, and before the thought even reached his mind, he added, "I think." Immediately realizing what he'd just said, Kurt whipped his head up, but not to look at his shocked fiance - to look at his best friend Blaine. AU.

* * *

><p><em>Go ahead and say goodbye. I'll be alright.<em>  
><em>Go ahead and make me cry. I'll be alright.<em>  
><em>And when you need a place to run to, for better for worse, I got you.<em>

_-Leona Lewis_

_xo_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

"Only if you say yes."

_0 Days until Blaine's Wedding_

**5:00**

So much went wrong in the time lapse of ten minutes.

Softly, the piano to Blaine's left began to play the traditional wedding march. He couldn't decide whether to shove his hands in his pocket or keep them folded. Losing all of his breath, he shuffled at the altar, doing a jittery dance with his indecisive hands.

He looked towards the doors. In a matter of seconds, his fiancé would be walking through them, ready to become his husband. Blaine gulped away a lump in his throat. He couldn't start crying yet!

**5:01**

Blaine could have been the one to walk down the aisle, but Eddie swore he always dreamed of walking down the aisle to his waiting fiancé.

"That's when I first realized I wasn't straight," Blaine remembered Eddie joking.

To prevent an argument, Blaine agreed to be the waiting fiancé. So, here he was, waiting. He continued to wait.

_Hurry up, Eddie, or I'm going to have an arrhythmia and die_, Blaine thought, frustrated.

**5:02**

The doors remained untouched. Blaine's heart began to beat double-time. There were only two sets of eyes that'd comfort him in this moment. The first weren't coming through the doors. The second were in the middle of small church.

Kurt was already looking at Blaine. When they locked eyes, Kurt smiled. Quickly, he looked towards the closed doors. He then turned back to the groom, tilting his head to one side, a smirk on his face.

Kurt has been Blaine's best friend for years. Sometime during their relationship, the two created a sort of unspoken language that came in handy during their college classes where seats were assigned based on last names. Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson were never next to each other.

The messages they sent silently back and forth weren't 100% accurate, but both boys caught the gist.

_Late as always_, Kurt messaged across the other guests' heads.

_You aren't supposed to be late for your own wedding!_ Blaine returned.

_Are you worried?_ Kurt joked.

_Of course not. Should I be?_ Blaine threw.

Kurt smiled. _No, you idiot. He'd never leave you. He loves you._

Blaine breathed a sigh of relief, casting his eyes downward.

_He'd be a fool if he did_, Kurt thought to himself, _and he's no fool._

**5:03**

The doors opened. Every head in the church spun to look at Eddie. Blaine lifted his eyes. He caught Kurt's stare.

_I told you_, Kurt's face read.

Blaine grinned and shot his gaze to the back of the church. His smile immediately dropped. Eddie's mother walked through the double doors, quite alone. She ignored the looks of the other guests and stared straight at Blaine.

Blaine was stumbling forward like a robot. She stopped in the middle of the church, as if getting any closer to Blaine would ruin them both.

"Honey, I'm so sorry," he heard her mumble.

Blaine lost all feeling in his legs and tumbled onto the steps that lead to the altar.

"There's not going to be a wedding today," Blaine said mechanically. "Go. Just leave…"

**5:04**

As people moved towards Blaine, he motioned for them to go away, even his family. He sat on the steps, looking at the floor, emotionless.

Kurt sat in his seat. He found his boyfriend Alek's hand. Kurt couldn't take his eyes off of Blaine. He stared as people blocked and passed by his view. He was joking before. He never thought that this would happen.

Eddie was a fool after all.

"Kurt, are we going to go, or…" Alek began but stopped when Kurt let his hand go.

"You go. I'm going to wait until everyone leaves so I can talk to Blaine," Kurt said, still not looking at his boyfriend.

Alek only moved in closer.

**5:05**

In his peripheral vision, Blaine noticed that the church was emptying. There were a few stragglers. People were persistent in not leaving, in trying to help him.

He only had one thought, _Kurt, don't you leave._ He didn't look up to check if his friend was still in his seat though. He couldn't be let down again.

"What do you think happened?" Alek whispered.

"Nerves? Eddie realized he proposed way too early? Maybe he wasn't in love with Blaine after all," Kurt whispered back.

"Do you think Blaine's going to be okay?"

"No," Kurt said simply.

"I'm sorry all of your work went to waste. The church really is beautiful," Alek said, glancing around.

"The reception hall is ten times more extravagant. Eddie wanted a simple ceremony, but Blaine and I fought for an amazing reception. God, look at him."

**5:06**

Blaine hugged his knees. He stopped responding to his guests' and family's attempts at comforting him. He just sat there, completely broken.

"Those people need to shove off!" Alek said softly but harshly. "Leave the poor kid alone."

"You really don't have to stay, Alek," Kurt mumbled.

"No, I-I wanted to ask you something," he whispered.

"What?"

Kurt never took his eyes off Blaine, and thought, _look at me, Blaine; look at me. I'm right here._

"What if someone wanted to propose at another person's wedding?" Alek said.

Kurt groaned. "That's awful. You never, ever, ever take attention away from the newlyweds."

"Oh. I didn't know that."

Kurt furrowed his brow and finally looked at his boyfriend.

"Why?" he extended the word out.

Alek looked panicked. "Nothing. Nothing."

**5:07**

Kurt turned completely in his seat.

"Alek Haber, you tell me why you just brought that up," Kurt whispered sternly.

Alek cast his eyes down. Fumbling with his hands, he reached for Kurt's to stop his movements. He gazed into Kurt's eyes.

"It's nothing. I'm sorry for saying anything at all. Really. I just thought it'd be romantic, but no, nothing, never mind."

Kurt cupped Alek's cheek. His boyfriend calmed immediately. "What did you think would be romantic?"

Alek's breath got caught in his throat. With a shaky hand, he reached into his pocket.

His hand reminded in his pocket as he whispered, "Kurt, I love you. I've loved you from the second you sat down next to me in our Modern Art class – sophomore year. Seeing how much Blaine's wedding meant to you, seeing how happy you were with just the thought of marriage, I realized that I never want to see you marrying any other man. I want you to marry me."

Kurt went numb. If he wasn't already sitting, he'd be on the floor like Blaine.

**5:08**

Alek's hand slipped from his pocket. He was grasping a small, velvet ring box.

"Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, marry me?"

When he opened the box, it was empty. Kurt smiled.

"No, ring, Alek?" he laughed, hiding all other emotions.

"Guys don't really wear engagement rings, I don't think. If you want, every single guy that looks at you, I can tell them to back off because you're engaged. But only if you say yes."

Kurt stared into Alek's eyes with grin that brighten his blue-green ones. Not breaking the look, Kurt reached up and snapped the box shut.

"Proposing at another person's wedding is tacky."

"Is that a no?" Alek said, slightly playful, slightly serious.

"No. I mean, yes. I mean, I say yes, but we're going to pretend you didn't ask me a thing. For right now, I'm going to help Blaine, but when I get home, we'll celebrate," Kurt said with a sly smile and equally sly eyes.

They both stood up.

"You're my _fiancé._That's so strange," Alek muttered.

"If by strange you mean, perfect, then yes, being your fiancé is really strange."

**5:09**

With only a little clasp of their hands, Alek left Kurt to tend to Blaine in an incredibly empty church. Kurt stood in the middle of the long aisle, his best friend on the floor directly in front of him.

Kurt walked towards him. When he sat next to Blaine, the almost-newlywed didn't motion for his friend to go away. Kurt reached for Blaine's blue delphinium boutonniere, pulling it off. Blaine's eyes pulled up as Kurt chucked it across the church. It hit one of the two open doors with a soft bang. Kurt glanced over at Blaine. He was smiling. It was small but present.

_Let's do some damage_, Blaine thought silently to Kurt.

Kurt leaped to his feet and extended his hand to Blaine. Pulling his friend up, Kurt immediately tore the first ribbon off the first pew. A shower of flower peddles hit Kurt as he tore another ribbon down, throwing it into the air. Spinning around, Blaine was ripping apart a flower arrangement. Kurt laughed. Blaine's eyes glossed with tears, but he laughed too.

It almost became a race to see who could do more damage to all the flowers and decorations they'd spent all morning pulling up together.

**5:10**

Kurt and Blaine collapsed in the center of the church, sitting on top of the remains of Blaine's blue and white flowers and the yards of ripped navy ribbon. Both were short on breath. They laughed, gasping for air.

Suddenly, Blaine's laughs turned to sobs.

Rushing to close the distance, Kurt grabbed Blaine's body. They held tight. Blaine cried, and Kurt shushed.

Kurt knew he'd be spending more time fixing his broken best friend than planning his own wedding. Priorities. Blaine was most important.


	2. Kurt missed feeling this way

**Author's Notes:** Read the headers! This story jumps around a lot, so pay close attention. I tried to make it as obvious as possible as to what's going on =)

* * *

><p><em>I could kid myself in thinking that I'm fine.<em>_  
><em>_It was always you falling for me__.__  
><em>_Now there's always time calling for me.__  
><em>_I'm the light blinking at the end of the road__.__  
><em>_Blink back to let me know._

_-Panic! At The Disco_

xo

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

Kurt missed feeling this way.

_0 Days Until Blaine's Wedding -__169 Days Until Kurt's Wedding_

Kurt took Blaine home at around nine o'clock that night. The reception was horrific. Kurt and Blaine manage to skip the cocktail hour, but when Alek called to tell Kurt that both families insisted on having the dinner because it was paid for, Kurt and Blaine had no other choice.

Every guest had said he/she was sorry at least three different times – after the second, the apologizes didn't feel genuine anymore. Blaine wasn't himself. Kurt stayed glued to his side the whole evening, cutting conversations short, saving Blaine from big, meaty relative's hugs, and sitting with him in the corner as everyone unsympathetically danced. What made everything worse was the fact that the DJ wasn't properly informed that the wedding didn't happen.

His careless mistakes happened multiple times. The first was when Kurt and Blaine first walked into the hall.

"Now introducing newlyweds Blaine Anderson and Edward Cruz!" and the Rocky Theme blared over the speakers.

Blaine and Kurt stood frozen in the entrance as the entire room dropped everything and glanced in their direction. Kurt's step-brother Finn, thankfully, ran to the DJ to end the song.

The second time this happened was when Eddie and Blaine's wedding song started playing.

"Now, for the couple's first dance!" the moron called over the microphone.

Blaine looked horrified. Almost knocking his seat over, he ran out of the hall. Kurt was right on his tail.

"Blaine! Blaine!" he called.

Blaine let Kurt reach him before letting himself sob into his friend's suit.

"I've never been so humiliated!" his friend cried. Kurt tugged him down to the ground. "You'd think the damn DJ would realize the groom wouldn't be moping about his reception if he was happily married. _And this stupid song_!"

Kurt's ears perked up to hear that the chorus to "All This Time" by One Republic as it played.

"Yeah, stupid song," Kurt cooed.

The third time was when Blaine's family started cutting the cake to hand out. When the DJ attempted to say Eddie's name, Kurt resorted to chucking his piece across the room, hitting the DJ square in the face. Blaine smiled for the first time all night.

As soon as the boys turned on Blaine's apartment lights, they realized the immediate difference.

"He's gone," Blaine said hollow, looking around, trying to find at least one of Eddie's things.

Kurt took his friend's hand.

"You aren't going to be alone tonight, okay? I'll stay."

Blaine nodded, slapping away tears.

* * *

><p><em>How Kurt and Blaine Became Friends<em>

**August****– Freshman Year**

The plane ride to New York from Lima wasn't bad. Fitting his whole life, namely all of his clothes, into a few suitcases (and he splurged for more than one, sadly enough) gave Kurt the most trouble. Saying goodbye to his family was hard, but getting from the airport to NYU by himself was the hardest. He was almost forced to pile his suitcases up, stand on them, and flail around to get the attention of any taxi driver (even then people would have stolen them from him).

The taxi took him straight to his dorm building – Hayden Hall, a huge brick building right on Washington Square West. After signing in and getting his room key, he trudged to his first floor dorm. It took him a while to find. He kept getting lost, winding up in the wrong corridor. Finally, he was at his room. Swiping his key, he pushed through the door.

Something fell.

"Ow. Ow!" came a voice.

Kurt pushed the door until it wouldn't budge anymore. Peeking his head in, he saw a boy lying on the floor. A chair was what prevented the door from opening. The small boy rose to his feet, moving the chair.

"Sorry. I was hanging lights," he said, pulling the door open.

"I knocked you down and almost cracked your skull. You don't have to be sorry," Kurt returned, dragging his stuff into the room.

Looking around, it looked like the boy had settled in. Everything was neat and tidy and either a deep blue or a deep red.

"Whoa, holy suitcases!" he exclaim, helping Kurt pull a few in.

"I know. I live a state or two away. It's mostly clothes and shoes."

The boys staked Kurt's things on his empty bed.

"Same. I only had three though. I'm probably going to have to go shopping later to buy some more stuff," he said, sitting at his desk.

"Fantastic! I can go with you, and we can get stuff for the room. It's looking a little drab," Kurt said. A small flag of his roommate's alma mater at the boy's desk caught his attention. "Dalton Academy? You're from Ohio?"

The boy laughed. "Westerville, yeah. Why? Where are you from?"

"Lima, Ohio – that's like a two hour distance. What are the odds?" Kurt laughed. "I remember in my junior year, the New Directions tied with the Warblers for Sectional, and we creamed them at Regionals."

"Right, you guys did original songs! I remember."

"Oh, were you a Warbler?"

The boy smiled to himself. "Yeah, I had most of the solos my junior year. You probably don't remember."

Kurt racked his brain. "Oh my God, yeah, yeah, your hair looked like a helmet back then. Less gel, more curl definitely looks better on you. I'm Kurt by the way."

"Blaine. I could help you unpack, if you want."

"Yes, I want! Then we can go shopping and explore the city," Kurt said, giddy.

Blaine pressed play on his iPod. A song from the musical Spring Awakening filled the room.

"Sorry, there is _a lot_of Broadway on my iPod. I hope you don't mind. I have a minor in Performance Studies."

Kurt grinned. "I don't mind at all."

**September**

Kurt was gnawing on his bottom lip, tapping his pencil against his text book loudly. He kept throwing frustrated glances towards the door. After it was too much, he threw his pencil against it.

"Will they ever shut up? Does our R.A. not care?" he said in anger.

"I'm pretty sure Eddie goes out partying with them," Blaine said from his bed.

Kurt turned in his chair to face him just as Blaine sat his book down on his lap.

"They're obnoxious. Also, their music sounds like a garbage disposal," Kurt grunted.

"They're just letting loose a little. They're normally not this bad, but give them some credit, it is a Thursday night."

"They're inconsiderate!"

Blaine shut his book and inched towards the edge of his bed.

"I think you're just stressing out because of classes. McKinley probably didn't prepare you at all for college. I'm managing because the curriculum at Dalton was intense, but I'll tell you one thing I've learned: study, always study, but you need to let loose or you'll go insane!"

Kurt gave him a confused look. "Are you saying we should go out with our hall?"

"I mean, it's not really my scene, but if you wanted to, I'd go with you. I was actually suggesting like popping in a movie."

Kurt sighed. "Yeah, I like that plan better. Party's are not my scene either."

"So, the only movies I brought were the first four Harry Potter's. Which one's your favorite?" Blaine asked, walking towards his desk.

"None. I'm never even seen one."

"Seriously? I've been watching these since I was twelve. We can watch Sorcerer's Stone. You'll like it – promise."

In the end, Kurt wasn't sure if he liked the movie because of the film itself or because Blaine and him squeezed onto Blaine's bed and watched the movie on his laptop, shoulders touching, hips meeting, feet occasionally tangling together.

**October**

Kurt got a text from Blaine saying: **Can you meet me in Skirball? Idk what to do.**

He frowned down at his phone. Blaine just left about an hour ago for choral practice with the Jazz Choir; this is where it was. The walk between Hayden and Skirball was short. When Kurt walked through the doors, he pulled out his phone and called his roommate.

"Second floor. Room 210," Blaine said, sounded indifferent.

Kurt weaved his way through passing students to the second floor. Eventually, he pushed through the door of room 210. Blaine was seated at the piano, clutching some sheet music really tight.

"Hey, why'd you have me come here?" Kurt asked, approaching his friend.

"I can't move," he said, not looking up.

Kurt furrowed his brow and kneeled in front of Blaine, bending the sheet music towards him to look at the boy.

"You can't move?" Kurt said unbelieving.

"We were rehearsing for our upcoming concert, and the director passed me, I guess, heard me singing, told me to stay after, and offered me a solo," Blaine said in one breath.

"Why is that a bad thing?" Kurt questioned.

"It's not!" Blaine exclaimed. "This is incredible. It's not often that freshmen get accepted into the Jazz Choir, and it's not often that freshman get solos in_any_concert. Being a Music major and Performance Studies minor, this is incredible."

Kurt laughed. "Why am I here then?"

Blaine placed the music on the piano. Sliding off the piano bench, he sat next to Kurt on the floor.

"I've never been so scared in all my life," he said hushed.

Kurt took his roommate's hands. "Blaine, you have nothing to be afraid of. I remember a very energetic, very confident performer singing a solo at the 2005 Western Ohio Regionals Championship."

"Kurt, that's high school," Blaine said softly. "This could make or break me. What if I choke? What I'm awful? I'll never have another solo!"

"Okay, yes, this is very different from high school because people actually care. They want you to do well, Blaine. In completion, all the audience wanted was to see you fall on your face. Here, everyone wants you to succeed! Including your director – he saw potential in you. I see potential in you, Blaine. You've just got to see potential in you!"

Kurt pulled them both onto their feet. Blaine gave Kurt a shy smile.

"I wish you would have joined the Jazz Choir too, Kurt."

Kurt laughed sadly, "No, there's no place for me. Art History major, Studio Art minor, remember? Maybe one day when I'm freaking out for a showcase, I'll text you, and you can meet me."

Blaine smiled, "Definitely."

**November**

When Blaine walked into his dorm room, he thought someone had robbed them. It took him a second to realize that this mess was just Kurt studying. Three different textbooks were open. There were tons of loose-leaf papers inscribed with messy handwriting scattered all over as well. Note-cards, pencils, and highlighters were strategically placed amongst the rest. Kurt was in a circle of study.

"How long have you been like this?" Blaine asked, wide-eyed.

"Since noon," Kurt said in short.

"You're been studying for eight hours?" Blaine barked.

"I took breaks to pee and eat," he answered as if it was obvious. "You're doing too much talking! Where have you been?"

"I've been with our R.A. Eddie. We studied at the library then got Starbucks and walked around the city. I've been texting you to meet us…"

"Phone's been off all day," Kurt said quickly, pulling up his flashcards.

Blaine charged at Kurt, pulling the cards out of his hands. "No, you are done studying for tonight!"

"Blaine, no, my test is tomorrow!"

"You've been studying for this all weekend. You're ready. You're going to over-study and just stress out more!"

"I need…"

"What you need is to chill out," Blaine said slowly, pushing himself rather close to Kurt's face. Kurt fumbled over his words. "Eddie was telling me there's a meteor shower tonight. If we go now, we can get Starbucks, sneak up to the roof, and see if we can see the shower over the city lights."

"Blaine, there's no way. The most we'll see is a plane passing by. Besides, I have to…"

"Stop studying."

They were so close. Kurt's heart thumped against his chest. If Blaine stayed like this any longer, Kurt would do anything the boy said.

"Okay," Kurt whispered.

The elevator ride to the top floor was awkward. They were just two young boys, obviously freshmen from the first two floors, holding hot coffee and blankets, standing in the middle of rich New Yorkers on their way to other floors. By the time the elevator got to the top floor, it was just Blaine, Kurt, and a small, fairy-like woman. She kept smiling at them.

Exiting, the two shuffled around, trying to find the roof entrance.

"Over there," the woman said, pointing past Kurt's head.

Blaine saw the door. "Thank you, Miss."

She smiled, knowingly, and walked away. The November air was chilly, but Blaine stayed close to Kurt. He wrapped a blanket over the pair as they lay looking up at the sky. Kurt was right. They really couldn't see stars. There was a glow from the city lights, but they were far enough away _almost_seeing something.

"Is that one?" Blaine squealed, pointing up.

"Airplane," Kurt laughed. He felt Blaine's pinky touch his under the blanket. His stomach did a flip.

"Damn. We'll see one though."

Kurt smiled. With a whole lot of courage, he placed his hand on top of Blaine's. "And if we don't, that's okay too."

Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand.

**December**

Their first semester of college at NYU came and went. Tomorrow, Blaine and Kurt would be boarding a plane back to Ohio. Neither admitted how much they'd miss New York though.

"We have to do something big tonight!" Kurt said, watching Blaine pack his clothes in his suitcase.

"Like what?" Blaine asked. "Can you sit on this?"

Sitting on the suitcase as Blaine zippered, Kurt said, "Let's go to Times Square!"

Struggling to speak, Blaine said, "We go there like every weekend."

"I know, but for a month, we don't see it at all! I want to take as many mental shots of it as possible!"

"Okay, how are we going to get there? Subway? Taxi?"

"Let's walk."

Blaine looked up, an _are-you-serious?_ look on his face. "That's like thirty blocks…in the snow."

"Live a little, Anderson!"

Pulling on as many layers as possible, Kurt and Blaine ventured into the city. Kurt didn't realize how thick the snow was falling. The roads, cars, and sidewalks were buried! It didn't bother Kurt too much. He almost skipped across the street. Smiling, as Blaine tried to follow, Kurt threw a snowball at him.

"KURT!" Blaine yelled, almost slipping. Sliding across the street, Blaine caught up to Kurt. He buried his whole arm in the snow on top of a car and snapped it at his friend. Kurt yelped.

"BLAINE!"

They were both laughing. As they jogged up the block, snowballs were being thrown left and right. By the 6th block, Blaine had caught up to Kurt. As Kurt spun to whack his friend in the face, he fell. Blaine tripped over him. Neither could catch their breath, they were laughing so hard.

The snow fell in huge flakes. Both boys lay on their backs, looking up. They were both smiling like crazy.

"I'm going to miss this," Blaine admitted, reaching up to catch a few flakes in his gloved hand.

"Yeah, New York is magical," Kurt said dreamily.

"I meant you."

A blush rose to Kurt's cheeks, and if Blaine had looked over, he would have seen it on his light skin against the white snow.

* * *

><p><em>168 Days Until Kurt's Wedding<em>

Kurt's eyes flickered as sunlight trickled against them. His body woke up at different times. The sun woke up his eyes. Soft breaths woke up his ears. A warm torso woke up his chest. Cold feet woke up his legs. And his face and the rest of him finally woke up as his nuzzled his head into soft, sweet smelling hair.

This wasn't Alek. It was Blaine. His eyes pulled open.

He looked down at his best friend and smiled. In college, some days they'd find themselves tangled in each other like this. It wasn't on purpose; they'd be watching a movie or chatting on Hayden Hall's roof, and they'd just pass out, only to wake up in each other's arms.

Kurt would always get this very specific pulling sensation in his gut when he'd feel Blaine's arms hooked tightly around his waist. He'd always breathe in deep breaths of the smell of Blaine's hair and listen to his friend's steady breaths. He would ride out these feelings until he felt it was inappropriate and woke the sleeping boy.

Today, a year or so out of college, Kurt found himself doing the same routine he'd done so many times. Maybe it was out of habit. Maybe it was because while Blaine slept, he wasn't thinking about being heart broken. But maybe, it was because Kurt missed feeling this way. Whatever it was, it was too early for him to register.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> A lot of little questions will be answered throughout the story, like "Why wasn't Kurt Blaine's best man?" Or "What are the stories behind Blaine and Kurt meeting their fiancés?" Small things like that.

I'd also like to say, just because I'll feel better about myself, I actually sat down and researched New York schools and their majors for about an hour =) Choosing NYU wasn't a rash decision. All the buildings are legit and researched, but I don't go there, so I may get locations and details wrong. I'm trying! =b


	3. The way I care about you

_We've all got our junk, and my junk is you._

_-Spring Awakening_

_xo_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

"The way I care about you."

_168 Days Until Kurt's Wedding – 9:06 AM_

It was still early morning when Kurt got home. As soon as he opened the door, the _almost_-_night_ last night made him immediately feel guilty. He was supposed to come home, he remembered. Alek had planned them a romantic evening – evidence of which were scattered all around the apartment.

Kurt stepped on the rose petals that lead across the living room. Alek had taken every single blanket, pillow, and cushion in their apartment and assorted them to make a bed-like structure in the corner of the room. He had tied their thin, silk sheets as drapery that drifted down to the floor. There were lit Christmas lights hanging around the sheets like floating stars. Kurt glanced towards their Christmas tree to find that it had been stripped on its lights. Smiling, he crawled into the fort and into the arms of his fiancé.

Kurt started to kiss the hollow of Alek's neck. Alek made an affectionate noise.

"Wake up, you," Kurt hummed.

"It's light out. What time is it?" Alek questioned, tightening his eyes shut but pulling Kurt closer nonetheless.

"Does it matter?" Kurt whispered, kissing Alek's lips. Alek smiled against them; it really didn't.

* * *

><p><em>Kurt and Alek's Story – Sophomore Year<em>

Blaine was the hardest person to wake up. The only thing that could really wake him was his alarm, which he abused the _snooze_button on every morning. Kurt had a system though; he knew how to wake his roommate up. He had a year of practice.

Kurt loved having classes with Blaine. It was rare because of their conflicting majors. However, when Kurt realized they'd signed up for the same class at 8 AM, he almost pitied himself.

The first class on the first day of classes sophomore year was Modern Art – 8 AM. It only took Blaine ten minutes to get ready, so as Kurt readied himself, he let Blaine sleep. When Kurt finished, he began the routine.

Kurt hopped up onto Blaine's bed and started to jump. The boy pulled his covers closer to his body and grunted incomprehensible words.

"Blaine! Blaine! Blaine! Blaine! Wake up! Wake uuuuup!" Kurt called down at his friend.

Blaine kicked at Kurt's right leg. This part was when Kurt would fall to his knees to prevent anymore kicking.

"Blaine! Blaine! Wake up! Blaine!" Kurt said right into Blaine's face.

Kurt prepared himself because in the next second, Blaine tossed him onto the floor.

"Go away," Blaine mumbled, digging deeper into his pillow.

Kurt grinned mischievously as he gripped the sheets and tugged, pulling the sheets and Blaine off the floor. Blaine's eyes shot open with strong dislike as he glared at Kurt.

"This year too, Kurt?" he groaned.

"If you'd wake up like a normal human being…"

Kurt packed his books in his shoulder bag as Blaine changed, styled his hair, and brushed his teeth. In ten minutes, they were on their way to class.

"Do you actually like doing that?" Blaine asked, sipping the coffee Kurt had made for him.

"Yes, actually," Kurt admitted.

Blaine elbowed him lightly, hiding a smile. They got to the building. Their class was in a pretty big lecture hall, which meant they'd be able to sit wherever. The class wasn't full yet, but the teacher had already started talking when the two boys snuck in.

"-small class size for a big room. How this happened, I don't know, but I'm going to assign seats, so you're not scattered around, and then I won't have to shout. Okay, let's start. Anderson, Blaine!"

Blaine suddenly perked up, standing. He walked down the aisle to where the teacher instructed.

Blaine glanced back at Kurt. He threw him a look that could be read as, _Really? Assigned seats?_

Kurt returned a look that could be interpreted as, _I know!_

Blaine shook his head, and Kurt saw his face read, _And I'm in the front row. No dozing off for me._

Kurt smiled, sending back, _You'd never wake up._

Blaine threw Kurt a sarcastic _screw-you_face.

Kurt was laughing as the professor called, "Hummel, Kurt!"

Breaking eye contact with Blaine, he jumped up. She directed him a few rows back from his roommate. He almost tripped on the boy sitting next to him.

"Sorry," he mumbled, catching the boy's eye as he sat.

He was cute, Kurt decided. He could use a hair cut because his sandy brown hair kept blocking his light eyes, but that was something that could be easily looked over. He was playing with his reading glasses and kept glancing at Kurt. Kurt blushed because his own glances kept getting caught.

"That's a great bag," the boy said softly. "Is that Marc Jacobs?"

Kurt smiled down at it. "Only the best."

Before either boy could say anything else, the professor started teaching. Kurt allowed himself a look or two towards the light eyed boy throughout the lesson. When the class ended, Kurt paid really close attention to packing up his books. He almost _felt_ the boy's eyes on him.

"Kurt, want to get some breakfast?" Blaine's voice asked.

When Kurt looked up, the boy was bending past Blaine. Kurt was almost disappointed, but then he saw Blaine's smile.

For the next few weeks, Kurt and Blaine would start the beginning of class with their silent, unspoken conversations. Kurt only ever smiled at his neighbor; they never spoke.

One day in October, Blaine couldn't make it to class.

"Where's your friend?" the boy immediately asked, as I sat quietly, waiting for class to begin.

Kurt's head snapped sideways. "My roommate? He's sick."

"Oh, sorry, didn't mean to be nosy," he said, sinking a little into his seat.

Kurt laughed. "You're not. I'm Kurt because it's silly that we haven't been introduced yet."

"Alek," he said with a warm smile that made Kurt's heart beat in protest.

They talked for a few minutes before the lesson started, and Kurt realized that all he wanted to do was end the lesson so he could talk to Alek some more.

"Hey, did you maybe want to study?" Alek asked as they headed out into the city together.

He was composing a text to Blaine when Alek asked. He almost dropped his phone.

"That'd be great, yeah."

Kurt never finished that text.

In class, the conversations between Blaine and Kurt get shorter and shorter and the conversations with Alek got longer and longer. Outside of class though, he mostly spent time with Blaine. Alek was great, but he was no Blaine.

* * *

><p><em>168 Days Until Kurt's Wedding – 11:46 AM<em>

Alek fixed them breakfast as Kurt texted Blaine at the table. From behind his back, Alek placed a plate of pancakes in front of Kurt, kissing his neck.

Alek must have read the text because he said, "How is Blaine?"

"Awful," Kurt mumbled, putting his phone down.

Alek hugged Kurt's shoulders. "Take as much time as you need to fix him up."

Kurt touched the arms around his torso, leaning back into Alek.

xoxoxoxoxoox

_Blaine and Eddie's Story__– Freshman Year_

Blaine's alarm rang for the umpteenth time before he finally woke up. Scrambling off his bed, he walked like a zombie towards the light switch. As soon as he flicked it on, the overhead light flickered and burnt out.

"Really?" Blaine muttered, glaring at the ceiling.

Grabbing his key off his desk, he trudged through the hall. Somehow in his sleepy haze, he ended up in front of his R.A. Eddie's dorm. Rapping on the door, he waited. Eddie pulled the door open.

"Did you just wake up, Blaine?" Eddie laughed.

"My light's out in my room. I come to you, right?" Blaine said, his voice not strong enough to speak.

Eddie couldn't hide his smile. "I'll tell the custodians. Go back to bed."

"Class," Blaine said, walking away.

"Hey, Anderson, you know, maybe after class, after your light is fixed, we can study or get Starbucks or just walk around town…"

This woke Blaine up immediately. Spinning around, Eddie was smiling confidently at him.

"Sure," was all Blaine could say.

The entire time Blaine was with Eddie, he kept trying to text Kurt. He didn't want to be in an awkward situation with their R.A. on his own. Kurt refused to reply. By the time of their Starbucks run, Blaine realized that Eddie was really cool and choosing to go into town with him wasn't a hard decision.

Things only took off from there. Whenever Blaine wasn't with Kurt, he was with Eddie.

"Want to come out with me tonight?" Eddie asked him on a random Thursday night.

Blaine pulled his face out of the novel he was reading. "Not my thing."

"It's not mine either," he said, coming towards Blaine, before pulling his book out of his hands.

"Why do you go then?" Blaine said, giving Eddie room to sit on his own bed.

He shrugged. "I guess to fit in. It's fun though, but my inner gay comes out way too fast when I'm drunk."

Blaine laughed, blushing. "Your inner gay?"

"I'm an incredibly slutty drunk," Eddie admitted, laughing. Blaine joined him. "And by inner gay, I mean, I'm usually good at not being flamboyant, but when I'm drunk, if you're a boy, you are uncharted territory – gay or straight."

Blaine bit his lip. "Oh, you're gay?"

Eddie chuckled. "Really, Blaine?"

"I-I just…I didn't…"

"I thought you of all people could tell."

"Me? Why me? Because _I'm_ gay?"

Eddie shuffled closer, their knees touching. "Because I really like you, and I thought you knew."

Blaine's mouth dropped open. In his head, he wanted this to happen, but he was sure Eddie was straight. But as Eddie leaned forward, Blaine suddenly figured out _why_ Eddie always wanted to hang out.

The kissing was an added bonus, even though Eddie didn't want anything serious. When Blaine told Kurt about what was happening, Kurt was less than thrilled.

"He's a closeted homo, Blaine, that's asking you to tiptoe into his closet for a quick make-out, but when it comes down to it, he's going to drop you for the first hot beard he sees!"

"Kurt!" Blaine said shocked.

"I'm just trying to look out for you. You're so smitten, you don't even realize that dating our R.A. isn't allowed!"

"We aren't dating…"

"You're right. Sex isn't dating," Kurt said, annoyance in his tone.

"We kissed a couple of times! That isn't sex!"

"Whatever. Do what you want…"

And Blaine did. The more deep he got with Eddie, the more Eddie didn't want a relationship. But Blaine didn't care because he really liked him and everything they were doing with each other was so new, so exciting. He was a teenage boy after all.

Kurt avoided the subject until it disappeared all together, and he and Blaine fell back into their groove. By the time the term ended, the relationship was disappearing as well.

"Where are you living next year?" Eddie asked, scattering kisses across Blaine's shoulder.

He and Blaine were lying in Eddie's bed; Blaine's bare back to Eddie's bare chest.

"Hayden again with Kurt." Eddie made a disappointed noise. "What's wrong?"

Blaine felt Eddie lumber off the bed.

"This was harder than I thought it would be, Blaine, and it's coming a lot sooner than later," Eddie said as he pulled on his boxers.

"What is?" Blaine asked.

"I think we should end this. I mean, it wasn't anything serious anyhow."

Maybe they weren't boyfriends, and maybe all they did was fool around, but Blaine felt like his whole world was falling apart. Grabbing his shorts, he threw them on and ran back to his dorm. Kurt wasn't there, so he waited. By the time his roommate came back, Blaine was certain he'd cried himself dry. He was wrong.

Kurt ended up popping in the fourth Harry Potter movie and held his roommate until they both feel asleep.

* * *

><p><em>Kurt, Blaine, Alek, and Eddie's Stories Continue – Sophomore Year<em>

Kurt hated his History of Western Art II class. He found himself in the library more often than not. Balancing six or seven books, Kurt dug through his pockets for his room key.

He suddenly heard a moan coming from inside his room. Almost dropping his books, he stood there in shock. Another moan. _What the hell was Blaine doing in there?_ Kurt's cheeks burned as his mind wandered. What was he supposed to do now? Maybe if he dropped his books or-

"Oh, oh, Blaine," a voice panted.

Kurt couldn't breathe. He knew that voice. Angry flooded the shock, and he wanted to kick down the door. _This was his room! Why was Blaine soiling it!_

Ready to barge in, he heard them talking again, so he froze.

"Tell me when you're ready," Eddie breathed, his voice harsh.

"Yeah. Yeah, go ahead," Blaine whimpered.

There was a moan and then a yelp, followed by a gasp of pain.

All other emotions resisted Kurt. Trying not to feel dirty for what he'd just heard, trying not to break down and cry, he abandoned his room and sauntered down the hall.

Blaine had said he was over Eddie. Blaine had said that he hasn't spoken to Eddie since that day he ended things freshman year. How did Eddie talk his way back into Blaine's life? And why was Blaine letting this happen? Why was Blaine giving Eddie _that_?

As Kurt sorted through the answers, he found himself in front of Alek's door. He didn't realize how far he'd traveled. Letting the books slip from his arms, he banged against the door.

Alek pulled it open, looking surprised. He seemed happy for a second until he realized that Kurt wasn't there just to say hello. Kurt crashed into his friend's arms.

Kurt didn't cry or sob or anything of the sort. He was just emotionless. He stared off into space as Alek rubbed his back.

"What happened?"

Monotone, Kurt said, "My roommate was having sex."

Alek made a _damn!-that-sucks_hissing sound. "Wait…that Blaine guy? The one you like telepathically have conversations with?"

"Unfortunately…"

Alek pulled away, looking stunned. Kurt glanced over at Alek. He looked way more upset than he needed to look.

"Cut back on the empathy," Kurt said, "and tell me how I look at Blaine without barfing the next time I see him."

"You know it's more than that, Kurt."

"What do you mean?"

"You're going to be fighting a lot more than just your gag reflex – maybe something to the equivalent of a dagger through the heart."

"I don't underst-"

"How long have you been in love with him?" Alek asked abruptly. Kurt expected to hear frustration or sadness, but Alek was simply curious. When Kurt couldn't manage an answer, Alek continued, "I thought so. Blaine obviously doesn't care about you the way you care about him."

Kurt was ready to defend Blaine, when he saw how quickly Alek's eyes softened.

"Blaine doesn't care about you the way I care about you."

Kurt stared wide-eyed at Alek. The other boy's glances shifted between Kurt's lips and his eyes. With a shaky hand, he touched Kurt's cheek, his thumb tracing the line of Kurt's bottom lip. Kurt sucked in a breath and snaked his hand behind Alek's head, only to pull him forward.

For a second, he forgot about Blaine…only for a second.

* * *

><p><em>168 Days Until Kurt's Wedding – 12:14 PM<em>

"Is it okay if I go back over?" Kurt asked, washing the dishes. "He probably hasn't eaten."

Alek kissed Kurt's cheek. "You don't need my permission."

As he headed out of the apartment, he felt guilty for leaving Blaine in the first place. Blaine's where Kurt's head had been the entire morning. Kurt felt guilty about that too.


	4. Don't make me hate you! Not today…

**Author's Note:** =) Thank you so very much for all the comments, faves, and alerts!

* * *

><p><em>When you're dreaming with a broken heart, <em>

_the waking up is the hardest part._

_-John Mayer_

_xo_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

"Don't make me hate you! Not today…"

_164 Days Until Kurt's Wedding_

Kurt and Blaine have lived in New York for five years. Even though their first four years consisted of them being poor college students, the two boys promised each other to try every restaurant in the city. They've never been to the same place twice.

Today was no exception.

"I heard a few people chattering on the subway about this orgasmic sandwich one of them got at this bakery on West 18th," Kurt said, tightening the scarf around his neck.

The weather today reflected that of a blizzard. This didn't matter. Kurt _needed_ to get Blaine out of his apartment. He was using his honeymoon vacation from work to snuggle up to his pillow and have long romantic evenings with his refrigerator light. Kurt bypassed _pity_ days ago.

"Why couldn't we just order pizza?" Blaine asked, digging his hands into his pockets.

Kurt dramatically gasped. "Blaine Anderson, we have no once _ordered_ pizza! What's the point in being a New York resident if we don't experience the city firsthand?"

"And getting pizza delivered is un-American?" Blaine muttered. Kurt shot him a cold look that would have frozen him if he wasn't already freezing. "I didn't mean- Why today, Kurt?"

"Because tomorrow wouldn't have been good either – same as the next day, then the next. Blaine, you can't keep torturing yourself like this!"

"My fiancé dumped me."

"I can relate. My mom died when I was eight. My dad was in the hospital from a heart attack when I was sixteen. My life got threatened when I was seventeen. It sucks; life sucks, but you've got to keep living," Kurt pleaded, stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. "I'm here to help you. Be sad. Be angry, but around me, at least try."

Blaine look slightly shocked but dropped his gaze as if embarrassed.

"Do you think _orgasmic sandwich_ is the name of it?" Blaine asked.

Kurt could help but smile. "Should I ask?"

And then Blaine did something Kurt hadn't heard him do in days: laugh. It wasn't long or ringing, but it was a laugh.

* * *

><p><em>1 Day Until Blaine's Wedding<em>

Blaine kind of wanted to get drunk off of Champaign. He kept picturing himself sneaking off with a bottle of it under his jacket. Every time he'd reach for a refill though, Eddie smacked his hand away.

"You know what happens when you're drunk," Eddie hissed.

Blaine scolded at his fiancé. Today was the perfect day to get drunk. Blaine felt like an overly hormonal teen who was PMSing. He was nervous and irritable; his stomach was in knots, and his head felt like it was being twisted off.

_Let me drink – God damn it!_Blaine found himself thinking as his glared at Eddie.

As his pulled his eyes away, another pair caught his attention. From across the room, Kurt was laughing from behind his napkin.

_What is so funny?_ Blaine threw.

Kurt folded his napkin back over his lap, smiling. When he looked up, his face was saying, _You look like you want to castrate your hubby._

_HE WON'T LET ME DRINK!_ Blaine exclaimed in his head.

Kurt stifled another laugh by biting at his fingers. Without other words exchanged, Kurt looked around his table, decided no one was paying attention, and grabbed the bottle of Champaign. Tucking it into his jacket, he fled the room.

His eyes met Blaine's at the door._What are you waiting for?_

Kissing Eddie's cheek, Blaine mumbled, "Bathroom."

Blaine practically ran out of the dining hall and almost crashed into Kurt when he escaped the room.

"Whoa! Calm it down," Kurt laughed.

"I can't believe you did that," Blaine laughed as well.

"I just kept picturing you sucker punching your way to another drink. You're not a drinker. What's the occasion?"

"I am getting married tomorrow."

Blaine shuffled down the hall, before pulling into the bathroom. The two boys sat on the small couch at the door. Kurt passed Blaine the Champaign.

"Only enough to get you buzzed. We don't want you to have a hangover for your wedding!" he said, pulling back the beverage for a second.

Blaine took a huge gulp before passing it back to Kurt, who waved it off.

"Really? You did an amazing feat of stealing this, and you don't want any?"

"No, I have been drunk like four times in my life, and I've blacked out every single time. Not taking any chances."

Blaine instantly felt slightly uncomfortable and didn't know whether to drink more or stop. Before he could decide, the door swung open. Blaine tossed the bottle at Kurt, who, in one quick motion, tossed it into the large, leafy potted plant next to him. It was Eddie.

"What are you doing?" he immediately asked, eyes shifting between the two boys.

"Trying not to have a nervous breakdown, no big deal," Blaine said.

"Kurt, do you think I could have a moment alone with my fiancé?" Eddie asked rather too politely.

Kurt patted Blaine's knee, gave Eddie a small smile then left the bathroom.

Eddie waited for a moment to start speaking. He was standing over Blaine, and Blaine felt oddly like a small child about to get scolded by his mother.

"Blaine, leaving your wedding rehearsal to be with another guy doesn't go unnoticed," Eddie said slowly.

"Eddie, it's Kurt."

"_Exactly!_"

"Let me rephrase: Eddie, it's Kurt – my best friend that everyone knows is my best friend, the guy that I invited to my rehearsal because I knew he'd calm me down, the guy who was doing just that. Why are you overreaching?"

Eddie looked like he was about to punch the paper towel dispenser off the wall.

"Blaine! Don't make me hate you! Not today…"

"Eddie, seriously? I thought we were over this."

"No," Eddie spat, "_I'm never going to get over what you did_!"

Blaine immediately stood up and grabbed Eddie's face.

"Eddie, I'm marrying you. I'm in love with you. Why is this even a question?"

Eddie pushed Blaine away. Eddie stood there looking as if he'd been slapped across the face.

Blaine's voice was brittle when he said, "Eddie, what happened New Years was the past. What's happening tomorrow is the future. A future I want to spend with you…"

Eddie looked unconvinced, scared even.

* * *

><p><em>164 Days Until Kurt's Wedding<em>

"Do we have to go back out there?" Blaine asked, gazing through the snowy window. "Can't we wait? …until summer?"

"Just use the coffee as a heater."

"You mean my lukewarm tea? God, I could be in the Bahamas right now," Blaine said with a sigh.

Kurt went quiet. As they trudged through the snow, Blaine kept glancing at Kurt.

"Sorry, I didn't mean-"

"What happened after I left?" Kurt said abruptly.

Blaine looked sideways, confused. "What do you-"

"I left you and Eddie in that bathroom, and then the next day…well, you know."

Blaine sipped his tea very slowly. Composing whatever was happening in his mind, he finally said, "He just didn't like me leaving the rehearsal dinner."

Blaine's answer had a lot of holes, and Kurt knew this, but he didn't push the issue further.

Kurt paid for Blaine's taxi back to his apartment and got back to work. As he was heading home later, he sent Blaine a text, asking if he got home okay. When he opened his own apartment door, Alek was in the kitchen snacking on grapes while reading his old A&P notes. Kurt snuck up behind him, stealing a grape or two.

"You're a nerd. Stop studying," Kurt joked, tossing a grape at him.

"I start my second batch of Grad class in a week. This is allowed."

Kurt frowned exaggeratedly. "I can't wait until you're permanently out of school. I missed seeing your face last semester."

Alek smiled, drawing Kurt's chin up to bring their faces closer. "Wait until I'm a big-shot dentist, and we're rolling in dough. You can start your own fashion line instead of interning under someone."

"I'm only marrying you before of your money."

"Shut your face. How was work?"

"Boring and uninspiring, but I went to lunch with Blaine. I think he may know why Eddie didn't show, but he won't tell me. I think they fought the day before. I just don't know what about."

"They've had their problems in the past, but I seriously thought they'd make it this time."

"You can't build a relationship on _maybes_ and rash decisions," Kurt said, shrugging.

* * *

><p><em>197 Days Before Blaine's Wedding –<em>_June 24th, 2011_

Kurt held his boyfriend's hand with pride. He didn't care about the confetti tangling in his hair or the dozens of excited bodies slamming up against him (actually, that part he could do without). He only felt Alek's hand. When he looked over at him, Alek's eyes were tearing.

Brushing a tear away with his thumb, Kurt whispered, "It's happening."

"I think America was ready for this," Alek sniffled.

"I'm glad this is our home. I couldn't have chosen a better state."

"I'm glad you didn't go to school in Ohio, Kurt. I'm glad you had bigger plans for yourself."

Kurt smiled, tossing his arms around Alek's neck. He pulled the smaller boy off his feet and kissed him in the middle of the crowded street in front of hundreds of people.

Blaine smiled at his best friend in happiness. He turned to Eddie.

"That's what this is all about," he said, pointing at Kurt and Alek.

Suddenly, horrifically, Eddie got down on one knee. Blaine's eyes pulled open as did his mouth.

"No, _this_ is what tonight's about. Marry me?"

Blaine almost threw up. The people surrounding him formed a small circle and started cheering even louder than they were before.

"SAY YES! SAY YES! SAY YES!" they chanted.

Blaine's face turned bright red. How could he say yes? He'd _just_gotten back together with Eddie for the like sixth time. He was so embarrassed!

"SAY YES! SAY YES! SAY YES!"

"Say yes, Blaine," Eddie said mischievously.

"Yes?"

And it came out exactly like that – a question, but the crowd and Eddie heard the word, and before Blaine knew it, he was swept up into a hug and an explosion of cheers erupted around them.

It wasn't until later that night that he realized what exactly he promised. He snuck out of bed and immediately called Kurt.

"I knew you'd be calling me. I'll be over in a little."

The two found themselves pacing up the New York streets. The commotion had died down after three, but remnants of the celebration were scattered everywhere.

"You're getting married," Kurt said softly, unbelieving.

"Yeah," Blaine retorted in the same tone.

Kurt grabbed at some streamer hanging off the tree overhead and waved it in front of them.

"Is that what you want?" Kurt asked after about a block.

Blaine stared at the streamer like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"Maybe."


	5. Those are two different kinds of love

_It's been a long time since I came around,_

_been a long time, but I'm back in town._

_This time I'm not leaving without you._

_-Lady Gaga_

_xo_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five<strong>

"Those are two different kinds of love."

_How Kurt Falls In Love With Blaine_

**July –****After Freshman Year**

It took a lot of coxing and sun block to get Kurt into the sun. He reapplied a new layer every half hour but nonetheless had been out in the sun all day. Blaine soaked in the sun very easily, and Kurt couldn't help but notice the darkening tan. He cautiously snuck the occasional sideways glance at his shirtless friend. It was cautious because he didn't want Blaine to notice, and it was occasional because the hammering of his heart increased with every look.

Blaine invited Kurt to be his plus one on his family vacation. The two boys were currently on a very crowded Maryland beach.

"Do you want to swim?" Blaine said watching a rather attractive group of boys racing each other to the water, holding boogie boards.

"Do you not care about your skin or your hair?" Kurt asked incredulously.

"Kurt, it's the beach! This is what you do at the beach: tan, swim, check out the…people."

"Correction: your surf-boy gawking did not go unnoticed," Kurt said, tossing a thin layer of sand onto Blaine's back. "Let's shop."

The two boys spend the remainder of the day on the boardwalk. After dinner and making a stop at Blaine's beach house to drop off everything from their afternoon of shopping, the two went back onto the boardwalk just as the sun was setting.

"Are you having fun?" Blaine said, bumping into Kurt happily.

"Despite the inevitable burn, the sand in places where sand should not be, and the lack of any organic food, I am. Thanks for inviting me."

Blaine walked up to the railing and just stood there, looking at the dark orange sky. Kurt found his place next to him.

"I'd rather be with you than my uptight family, honestly. You I can actually talk to."

Their hands were both holding the railing, inches apart. Blaine closed the distance by placing his hand on top of Kurt's. Kurt forced himself not to the gasp. They remained like this for a few minutes, watching the sun and the waves.

"Want to sit on the lifeguard stand?" Blaine asked abruptly, slipping his hand into Kurt's, dragging him away before he could say no.

Kurt couldn't help but laugh as they kicked through the sand and then pulled themselves up onto the large, white structure. They had to squish to fit; Kurt had no objections.

"I wish we could do this all year," Blaine admitted.

"Don't you miss NYU? I definitely do. I can't handle more than five minutes of Finn's ramblings about Ohio State football back home. I need the fast life of the city, the dramatics of Broadway, the nightlife that never ends. I can't wait to go back!"

Blaine grinned. "Summer is so simple though."

"If I wanted simple, I would have went to Lima County Community College. What's wrong? Why don't you want to go back?"

Blaine wouldn't look at Kurt. Instead, he was sweeping sand off his sandals very intently.

"I'm just nervous," he muttered.

"What about? You had a 4.0 last semester."

"Not the school work," Blaine said even softer.

Kurt's stomach twisted. "Eddie," Kurt stated, knowing full well that this what Blaine was talking about.

Blaine nodded slowly. "I just…how do I even face him? I'm like putty around him, Kurt. If he ever wanted me back, I'd go back to him without a second thought."

"He doesn't deserve you, Blaine. And I know you don't want to hear this, but it's better that you're not together. He'll only ever hurt you."

"I think he's made me damaged goods, Kurt. How can I ever trust another boy?"

"Not all boys are him, Blaine. Not all boys will use you for what he used you for. Not all of us are like that."

Kurt wanted desperately to scream _I can prove that. Let me try!_ If Kurt looked up, he'd risk sending that message nonverbally with his eyes, and he couldn't chance that, so his head remained down.

"You're right. You have a good heart, Kurt," Blaine whispered.

"And you're not damaged goods. This will just help you in choosing your next boy more carefully," he said then thought, _Here! I'm right here._

Blaine unexpectedly moved in closer to Kurt. Kurt's breath got lost somewhere in his throat. With a small smile, Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's shoulders. With flimsy arms, Kurt snaked his way around Blaine's back. He could feel the other boy's breath against his neck, and despite the warm weather, Kurt got goosebumps.

Blaine said into Kurt's ear, "You're going to make someone very happy one day, Kurt."

Kurt tightened his eyes shut, thinking, _I only want to make you happy, you moron._ He suddenly wanted nothing more than to change the subject. Peering over Blaine's shoulder, he saw two people making-out in the ocean.

Pulling back, Kurt laughed, "I'll buy you a new pair of sunglasses if you break up that show," pointing at the pair.

Blaine stifled a laugh but took on the challenge by climbing off the peer. Looking up at Kurt, he said, "Those pink ones I saw that you wouldn't let me buy. I want those!" then he ran towards the water.

Blaine screamed at the top of his lungs and splashed into the waves. Kurt didn't watch what happened next. He couldn't pay attention. He just looked at the sun and decided to acknowledge what his heart's been telling him for months. Kurt was head-over-heals in love with his roommate and best friend Blaine, painfully so.

And it was _so_ painful.

* * *

><p><em>How Kurt Falls In Love With Alek<em>

**March – Senior Year**

The realtor stepped outside the apartment to give her clients a moment for themselves.

"Did you hear her?" Kurt asked, bending his body in her direction to make sure she really left. "All those insinuations she was throwing were borderline offensive."

"I guess 'Two people like yourselves might fair well with something on the outskirts of the city' could be misinterpreted," Blaine said politely.

"Blaine, she thinks we're screwing each other _and_can't afford to live in the city."

Blaine spun to take in the whole room. "Maybe she's right."

Kurt stopped his friend mid-spin. "I have an internship lined up for after graduation, and you've applied to like sixteen different places. One is bound to hire you; it's like science. Besides, we are not going back to Ohio, not after living here for almost four years."

"All I'm saying is, it's kind of expensive. We're going to have to cut back on some stuff for a few months – like internet, cable, and…eating."

"I will eat only Raman for a year to live in New York!"

"Your mind's set, but let me just think about it, alright?" Blaine said just as the realtor walked back inside.

She wasn't too surprised when the boys told her they were going to hold off on their decision, again. As they headed out, Kurt really hoped Blaine would make up his mind. Shopping for apartments stopped being fun twelve apartments and three days ago. That'd be two hours of his day he'd never get back.

"Seriously?" Kurt sighed as he pulled out his phone. He'd missed six calls from Alek and had a text that read: **What are you even doing? Call me back.**"He's starting to smother me."

Kurt dialed Alek's number. He immediately picked up. But before Alek could say anything, Kurt said, "Someone better have died."

"What?" Alek retorted.

"I've been out with Blaine. What do you want?"

"Oh," he said. There was a long pause where Kurt pulled the phone away from his ear to silently curse down at it. "I thought you were ignoring me."

"Alek, why would I ignore you?" When Alek paused again, Kurt said loudly into the phone, "Alek?"

"Kurt, can we talk?"

"We are talking, Alek."

Alek sighed. "Come over when you're done with Blaine, okay?"

"Okay, yeah, bye."

Kurt immediately hung up and had to restrain himself from chucking his phone up the street. Blaine had been staring at him the entire time, unsure how to react.

"Trouble?" Blaine finally asked.

"I'm just super stressed about everything, and Alek keeps insisting that I'm getting more and more distant. If he says that one more time, I will get distant and dump his ass!"

"You don't mean that."

"I guess not. Okay, I'll go see him, set him straight, and then I'll meet you for dinner. Sounds good?"

Blaine broke eye contact quickly and played with his hands awkwardly. When he spoke, it came out unsure, "Actually, just work things out with Alek. I said I'd go to Eddie's apartment after you and I finished this."

Kurt suddenly stopped walking. "Blaine, you cannot be serious? The guy just dumped you for the third time, and you're crawling right back to him?"

"I knew you'd feel like that."

"Do you freakin' blame me?"

Blaine crossed his arms, protectively. "I just love him, okay? I can't help it."

"I am not piecing you back together – not again."

Blaine shook his head. "You won't have to. I've got this under control. I've already set ground rules."

"What? No sexting unless you've been dating for a week?"

Blaine raised his eyebrows. Kurt was angry but couldn't help but feel guilty.

"Kurt, nothing's going to happen."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "So you say."

When Kurt got to Alek's on campus apartment, he was already in an awful mood. So, as soon as his boyfriend opened the door, Kurt began to rant.

"Alek, what is your problem? I can't have a life that's separate from you for ten minutes without you getting all antsy that I'm losing interest in you! We've been together for years, and you don't trust me?"

"Of course I trust-"

"No, no, you do not, Alek! I have a lot on my plate right now. All my 400 level classes are kicking my ass, I've been struggling for weeks applying for internships, and now Blaine won't decide if he wanted to live in New York or not. _And you won't let me have any space!_"

"You're moving in with Blaine?"

Kurt missed the hurt in Alek's voice.

"I've been living with Blaine for four years! That's nothing new! I just wish you'd trust me. I'm not going to rush into the arms of another man. I just need my own time to sort through some stuff-"

"Maybe we should take a break…"

Kurt suddenly stopped.

"Wh-what?" he muttered.

"You need space. I want to give you that," Alek said.

"No, you can't go from smothering to distant in 2.2 seconds. Why are you saying we need to break-up?" Kurt said, sounding slightly desperate.

"Not break-"

"Yes, break-up, Alek. Breaks are just fancy ways of saying _let-me-go-screw-around-then-get-back-together-with-you-after-leaving-you-to-wonder-if-you'll-ever-come-back_. Either you want to do that, or you think I want to do that. Which is it?"

"You've been spending a lot of time with Blaine, and-"

Kurt almost threw something. "Blaine? You think Blaine and I…? Are you kidding me? Even if that was true, which it isn't, he's too hung up on Eddie. The idiot is over there right now probably hitting up all the bases before being asked to take a seat in the dug-out. I am not cheating on you with Blaine!"

"That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean then?" Kurt almost yelled.

"I figured you and Blaine were up to something these past few days, but I didn't think you were apartment shopping. I'm never going to be as important to you as him. You don't know how that makes me feel, Kurt."

Kurt groaned, burying his face in his hands. "Blaine is my best friend. You are my boyfriend."

"They're just titles. You'll always love him so much more than me."

Kurt finally saw the pain in Alek's eyes. He softened his harsh demeanor.

"I love Blaine," Kurt said. "I'm in love with you."

Alek said he loved Kurt years ago. He asked Kurt to hold back on saying it until he knew he meant it. He'd never said it…until now. Maybe it was the reality of losing Alek that pushed him over the edge, but Kurt knew he wasn't just saying the words to hear them.

"Call me stupid, but I think those are two different kinds of love," Kurt whispered.

* * *

><p><em>158 Days Until Kurt's Wedding<em>

Kurt texted Blaine asking him to meet him in Times Square on the big red steps. That was an hour ago. Kurt got up to leave, only to find Blaine staring up from the ground. He slowly made his way up.

Before Blaine could apologize or say anything, Kurt said, "Remember the day we sat here all afternoon doing school work?"

Blaine smiled. "You mean the day we tried to study but played _Who's A Tourist?_ instead?"

"Or do you remember the morning we sat on the roof of Hayden and watched all the hung-over people taking their walks-of-shame back to their dorms?"

"I remember," Blaine said.

"Oh, do you remember the second trip I took with you to Maryland over the summer where we sat on the lifeguard stand and shined that bright flashlight on all the couples in the water having sex to freak them out?"

Blaine laughed, nodding. "Very vividly. Are we here to walk down memory lane?"

"I just realized we see a lot when we're high up."

"Is that why we're at the top of this thing?" Blaine asked, standing to peer over the edge.

Kurt found his way to Blaine's side. Their hands were only inches apart on the railing, and Kurt wanted more than anything to close the distance.

"I just wanted to feel like I was watching over someone, watching them plot out their future," Kurt mumbled, gazing over the heads of people, seeking one particular person to catch his eye.

"Their future? We can't help them anymore than they can help us," Blaine said, turning away from the crowd, leaning his back against the railing.

"I just wish someone was watching over me."

"You should have stayed on the ground then."

Kurt brought Blaine here with no intentions of making his message profound. The memories just came and he was surrounded by them. He did have intentions though – he had to tell Blaine something really important. He didn't know how though.

Blaine saw Kurt's face and how sad he looked. He gripped Kurt's arm and pulled him down a step. Kurt gazed up at Blaine, confused.

"Okay, now someone's watching over you," Blaine said with a smile.

Then it slipped. "I'm engaged." Kurt didn't want it to slip.

Blaine tried (he really, _really_ tried) to look happy, but the initial shock was all Kurt focused on. As Blaine pulled him into a hug, Kurt slipped away before he could make contact.

"I'm sorry," Kurt muttered, starting down the steps.

Blaine caught up. He took Kurt's hand.

"Why are you sorry, Kurt?" Blaine asked.

"I'm not supposed to be engaged when you've just been left at the altar."

"Eddie wasn't the one for me. Why does that have to do anything with your wedding?"

"I just don't want for you to have to see all this wedding stuff and remember him."

"Kurt, all I'll be thinking about is my best friend getting married."

Something just erupted inside of Kurt, and he couldn't stop himself from hugging Blaine.

From the steps above, people watched the two hug and thought how well they fit together. The onlookers couldn't stop the flashes of a future for the pair they saw that'd make both boys laugh because they were best friends and didn't love each other like _that_.


	6. You're the most important person to me

**Author's Note:**This chapter jumps around a lot. Just remember, "_Days Until Blaine's Wedding_" is the past, and "_Days Until Kurt's Wedding_" is the present. =)

* * *

><p><em>Why must we be so ugly?<em>

_And please do not think ill of me._

_Why does the one you love become the one who makes you want to cry?_

_-Maroon 5_

_xo_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Six<strong>

"You're the most important person to me."

_181 Day's Until Blaine's Wedding__– 11:03 AM_

Every time Blaine saw a wedding magazine, he'd buy it. So, when Kurt walked into Blaine's apartment and saw a huge stack of magazines on the coffee table, Kurt laughed.

"I went out to like sixteen different stores and got every single wedding-ish magazine I saw!" Blaine said quickly as Kurt picked through the stack.

"You have two copies of _Confetti_," Kurt said, holding them up side-by-side.

"I also bought like four magazines dedicated to wedding dresses. I should have been supervised."

"Did you two pick a date?" Kurt asked, flipping through _Wedding Bells_.

"January 7th."

"2012?"

"Yes," Blaine answered hesitantly.

"That's in a few months! That's crazy! How are you going to plan a wedding that fast?"

Something that Blaine hadn't done in a while was genuinely smile – he's been too anxious – but right now, he was smiling at Kurt.

"Remember those nights in our dorm room when we'd stay up for hours flipping through wedding magazines, talking about our big days? You told me you planned your father and step-mother's wedding in less than two weeks. Do you remember?"

Kurt flopped down next to Blaine on the couch. "Of course I remember. I'm a pro at this stuff. It's like _required_to be in fashion."

"Exactly! And when it comes to wedding music and songs, I'm a pro. I'll just need help with…everything else," Blaine admitted.

"Eddie's not-"

"Eddie's family is paying for the wedding, but I get to do anything I want with planning. _Please_, he's an accounting major with no other skills," Blaine laughed.

"I'll help," Kurt said nonchalant, but Blaine knew he was brainstorming about color schemes, flowers, venues, and all that other good stuff.

Blaine hugged Kurt quickly then said, "This is why you're going to be a great best man!"

Kurt's mouth dropped open. He tried to hide how excited he was. He was relatively good too, but he couldn't hide his smile.

* * *

><p><em>151 Days Until Kurt's Wedding – 6:32 PM<em>

Blaine couldn't help but laugh at Kurt. He was standing on a chair, digging through the top shelf of his bedroom closet, looking for his wedding scrapbooks.

"Why does Alek have all of his crap up here? This is my closet!" Kurt grunted, tossing down a stack of swim trunks and a box that made a really loud rattle when it hit the floor. "Found them!"

Kurt jumped off the chair and walked over to his bed, where Blaine was laying casually. He dropped the huge books he'd been carrying at Blaine's feet before sitting down.

"I've planned out at least fourteen different weddings in these little treasures," Kurt confessed.

He opened the first. It was thick with little clippings inching their way out of every side. It gave a loud creak as Kurt turned over the cover, which meant he hadn't opened it in years.

"This one can't be new, but I've never seen it before," Blaine said, leaning over the book.

"I never showed you these. I've been making wedding books since I was twelve."

Blaine looked down at the decorated pages crowded with pictures and sketches, some even had dried flowers. Blaine's eyes rose to look at Kurt's face. Kurt was smiling, obviously remembering when he'd put the book together.

Kurt closed his eyes, putting the pictures the book displayed into one fantasy ceremony in his mind. Blaine's eyes never dropped. It was as if he was trying to look into Kurt's brain, to see what he saw.

"How am I going to choose?" Kurt said, mostly to himself.

Blaine forced himself to focus on the book between them.

"Talk it over with Alek, see what he wants, and then-"

"No," Kurt interrupted, "Alek doesn't care. He said I had full creative control."

Blaine abruptly leaned back against the pillows, holding his legs to his chest. Kurt picked his head up. Oh.

"Make sure you get that in writing," Blaine muttered. "But then again, Alek's not Eddie so he probably means what he says."

Kurt shut the book and crawled towards Blaine, sitting beside him.

"Alek and I are paying for the wedding together, so he can't use the 'I'm paying for the wedding, so it's my choice ultimately,' excuse that Eddie kept using on you."

"I just wish I'd have some say in my wedding," Blaine said, tilting his head back so he was staring at the ceiling. "I wish you'd have been my best man."

Kurt slipped down the pillows and tucked his arm behind Blaine's lower back. He lowered his head until it was resting on Blaine's stomach. His other hand knotted in his friend's sweater. Blaine's arms automatically found their way around Kurt.

* * *

><p><em>181 Day's Until Blaine's Wedding<em>_– 3:19 PM_

Blaine ended his current call and slid his phone across the living room, far away from himself. He leaned against Eddie's shins. From his seat on the couch, Eddie started to massage Blaine's shoulders.

"What's the problem?" Eddie asked.

"It was my mother," Blaine said, shaking his head, and then added, "then my father."

"And?"

"They're making me have my little brother be my best man."

"That's not the end of the world," Eddie insisted.

Blaine groaned. "He's thirteen! He's not going to help with anything! How's he going to plan a bachelor party? I don't even want him to come to the bachelor party because he's so young!" Blaine ranted. "I wanted Kurt to be my best man."

The hands gripping Blaine's shoulders released, and Blaine felt Eddie drag his arms past his head until they were in front of him and Eddie's chin was resting on Blaine's shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Blaine," Eddie said sympathetically.

Blaine sighed. "It's fine. At least Kurt can be one of my groomsmen." Eddie hastily pulled away. "Eddie?"

"About that…"

"About what? Kurt will be a groomsman. That's not even a question."

"I was talking to my parents, and they thought it'd be smart to not go crazy with the bridal party."

"What does that even mean?" Blaine questioned, spinning around to look at Eddie.

"Well, with my three brothers and one sister, we need to be able to have an even number of girls to boys. As of right now, we have to find three more girls."

"Why does that even matter?"

"My parents-"

"I don't care what your parents want, Eddie. Kurt's in the wedding."

Eddie stood up. Without even looking at Blaine, he said, "They're paying for the wedding."

Blaine buried his face in his knees.

"Blaine, maybe we can figure something out. Maybe Kurt won't care if we can't," Eddie said, his voice more relaxed.

Blaine didn't pick up his head. It actually felt a headache coming on.

* * *

><p><em>151<em>_Days Until Kurt's Wedding – 6:39 PM_

"Be mine," Kurt whispered against Blaine's stomach.

"Be your what?" Blaine asked, fingering through Kurt's hair.

"My best man."

"What about Finn?" Blaine pointed out.

Kurt tilted his head up to look at his friend. "When I think about whom I want to be my best man, Blaine, there's no question in my head. You're the most important person to me – aside from my dad."

Blaine pulled himself up. Before Kurt could unravel himself from Blaine, he held him tight in an embrace.

"Of course I'll be your best man, Kurt."

* * *

><p><em>181 Day's Until Blaine's Wedding<em>_– 4:02 PM_

"No, no, I understand, Blaine. It's fine. Stop saying sorry. I believe that you are, Blaine. Okay. Okay, I'm going to hang up now. I know you're sorry. It's fine. Okay. All right. Bye. Bye!"

Kurt slide his phone shut. His pressed it to his lips without thinking, gazing off into space.

Kurt was so excited to be Blaine's best man and Eddie's and Blaine's parents ripped that from him. It wasn't anyone's fault. He had to stop trying to place blame. It still sucked though.

Placing his phone on the table, he got back to what he was doing before he got Blaine's phone call. He picked up the scissors and tangled his fingers in some decorative ribbon before realizing he had his hands on the wrong two things. Dropping both, Kurt cupped his chin in his palm and just stared down at the design scrapbook he'd been working on with a lot less luster.

* * *

><p><em>151<em>_Days Until Kurt's Wedding – 6:42 PM_

"I think I'm slowly drying of thirst. Want me to get you anything?" Blaine asked, pulling away from Kurt.

Kurt only smiled and shook his head. He piled the scrapbooks on top of each other and made his way to the closet. He wouldn't be needing any of these books to plan his wedding.

Storing away the scrapbook, his fingers found the one sitting alone on the top shelf he'd purposefully left up there. It was the newest, the most organized.

It was the one he made for Blaine.

Opening it, Kurt didn't realize he was taking his first real look at his own wedding's design.


	7. This was theirs

**Author's Note:** I loveeee reading your reviews! I have a smile plastered on my face whenever I see I have a new one =) Just wanted to address something TheVioletGreek mentioned – ship names! LOL! I totally call Kurt&Alek Kalek in my head! It just happens. As for Blaine&Eddie, I have nothing. What names could you guys think up? =) Great stuff. Great stuff… Without further ado: ENJOY!

* * *

><p><em>I'll need another love affair to hold me down.<em>

_I need somebody there to be around._

_And I don't love you more than anyone, my dear._

_But I need you more than anyone 'round here._

_-Darren Criss_

_xo_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seven<strong>

This was theirs.

_142 Days Until Kurt's Wedding_

Kurt still managed to get lost despite living in New York for five years. His back-up excuse was always: _It's just around the corner!_ But it never was; it was usually a short taxi ride, four or five blocks resulting in backtracking a street or two, _and then_ it was just around the corner.

This morning, Kurt was surprised when he got a call from Blaine suggesting they go out for lunch. Kurt immediately agreed. Usually, they'd have intentions of going to a restaurant that was rumored to be good but ended up settling on whatever they found. Blaine was determined to find some burger place on East 39th Street.

"I will eat my own arm if you don't find this place soon," Kurt grumbled, trailing behind Blaine who was glancing up at every single building for addresses.

"I've been planning this all week; I know where I'm going," Blaine taunted. "There it is!"

Kurt crossed his arms in defeat. For once, he wanted Blaine to get lost. His stomach growled against his arms and all resentment vanished and was replaced with a sudden hunger.

"This isn't a burger place; it's a place called Berger's, and is big on salads?" Kurt asked, skimming the restaurant. "How'd you work that out?"

"It's not so much about the eatery as what I have planned after," Blaine said mischievously.

Kurt scowled at his friend. He didn't like surprises, and Blaine wasn't the best with them. His eyes softened realizing Blaine was probably taking him to a Macy's 20% off sale, at best.

"So, I haven't talked to you about the wedding in about a week. Have you decided on anything?" Blaine asked, once he started digging through his salad for the greenest lettuce.

Instantly happy, Kurt slapped his drink down and buried his hand in his pocket, looking for his phone.

"I think I picked flowers. I wanted something bold. Should I go with something that says _Wedding!_ or says _Summer!_ because I can't decide," Kurt described, scrolling through pictures on his phone.

"I'm guessing you went crazy on Google Images," Blaine joked.

Kurt ignored the comment and shoved his phone at Blaine. The first picture was an elegant display of white lilies. Pulling his phone back, he switched the image. This time Kurt was showing Blaine a sunflower arrangement.

"One's sophisticated and the other's fun. Both can go tragically wrong if not done properly," Kurt informed, setting his phone down.

Blaine hid a smile in his napkin. Kurt was in his glory right now.

"In my opinion, lilies will always win. They scream classy and so do you."

Kurt nibbled on his fork happily. White lilies it is.

Lunch was drawn out by wedding talk, work talk, and just talk in general. Kurt and Blaine spent so much time together, yet never ran out of anything to talk about. It baffled them both.

"Macy's sale here we come!" Kurt predicted cheerfully. Blaine threw him a questioning look.

"We aren't going to Macy's."

"Where are you taking me then?" Kurt asked.

"It's just around the corner."

Kurt glared at Blaine's comment. However, Blaine rounded the corner and stopped.

"Lord & Taylor. We're tux shopping!" Blaine exclaimed. Oh, it was just around the corner.

"Tux shopping?" Kurt repeated. "Are you serious? We aren't girls. Tuxes are a lot simpler to find than dresses. I doubt when I find _the tux_ I'll start tearing up."

Blaine started across the street, leaving Kurt behind.

"You're no fun. When's the last time you wore a tux?" Blaine called.

Kurt thought for a second. It had been a long time. Giving up, he followed Blaine. Lord & Taylor was a huge store, and if Blaine wasn't leading, he'd have gotten lost. When they arrived in the Men's Formalwear section, a worker immediately approached them.

"Hi there! Could I help you with anything?" a lady with the nametag Lucy asked sweetly.

Before Blaine could say anything, Kurt spoke, "I'm looking for a tux. Could I possibly try the Boss Black, 3-Piece in 36R?"

The worker nodded happily and trotted away. Kurt settled down the couch facing the dressing room. Blaine towered over him.

"Impressive," Blaine said smiling.

"I'm a fashion design intern, Blaine. Don't be too impressed," Kurt said but seemed proud of himself nonetheless.

The lady came back and ushered Kurt into the dressing room, pulling the curtain closed. She then suggested Blaine take a set.

"Your boyfriend knows his stuff. If he ever needs a job…" she trailed off with a wink. Before Blaine could correct her, she turned and trotted away.

This wasn't the first time Kurt had been mistaken for his boyfriend. Maybe it was the way they were so comfortable around each other that it screamed_secret lovers_. There was even a time when a waitress insisted that Eddie was Blaine's brother and Kurt was his boyfriend. Eddie enjoyed that quite a lot.

So immersed in his thoughts, Blaine was caught off guard by Kurt, who tore open the curtains and marched out. The mirror was on the wall against Blaine's back, so Kurt stood directly in front of him to stare at himself.

Blaine bit his lip. Kurt looked really good. After the sixth or seventh time Blaine looked up and down Kurt's figure, he noticed his friend's face. It was squished up in a _this-it's-that-great_ expression.

"Seriously?" Blaine demanded. "You look amazing. Oh – hmmm- I mean, nah, you look amazing."

Kurt tilted his head, gazing at himself, adjusting his sleeves.

"This is probably one of the best tuxes here. It's _okay._ I mean, I could check out Gucci or Dior, but that is a lot of money I do not have to spend."

"Don't tell Lucy," Blaine stated.

"You mean Cindy from the Brady Bunch? We're at Lord & Taylor, not Armani. She'll survive."

"So no big moment with cheering and crying?" Blaine asked, unable to look away from Kurt.

"There's potential crying with this tux."

Blaine sucked in a staggered breath before saying, "You look great, Kurt."

Giving up, Kurt flopped down next to Blaine, brushing at his pant legs.

"Did you know I made my prom tux?" Kurt asked.

"I didn't, no."

"Would I be crazy to make my own wedding tux?"

Blaine thought about it for a second. Kurt made his own clothes all the time, and they always turned out fantastic.

"Not at all."

Kurt smiled, loosening his tie. "I also wore a kilt."

Blaine didn't laugh. It was as if Kurt was testing their friendship, but Blaine didn't need to be tested. He was impressed.

"That's bold. Are you going to do it again?" he asked.

Kurt grinned. "Alek would kill me, but I was thinking about it."

Before thinking the sentence through, Blaine said, "I wouldn't care if you wore a kilt."

Kurt smiled, patting Blaine's leg as he got up.

"Too bad I'm not marrying you," Kurt claimed, escaping into the dressing room.

Blaine's stomach gave a flop. Did he just hear that right? Before he let Kurt's words replay in his head, Kurt started to say something.

"I can't help but feel bad with all this wedding stuff. I know – I know this was your idea, but it's got to be bringing up some unpleasant memories." Kurt suddenly peeked his head out, looking apologetic. "And if you weren't thinking about it before, you probably are now. Crap. Let me make it up to you. Let's have a day where we do nothing related to weddings at all! We can meet in Times Square, and I can lead the way, and we can get terribly lost in town then you can lead us home. What do you say?"

"I say it sounds like a typical Wednesday to me," Blaine laughed, and Kurt threw his shoe at him in retort. "It sounds really good."

* * *

><p><em>139 Days Until Kurt's Wedding<em>

It really had to stop snowing. If there was a switch Blaine could flip, he would. The snow didn't bother Kurt. He loved scarves and every opportunity he could wear them. Blaine was almost afraid Kurt would have them venture out into the city in this blizzard…again. He was all for going into Times Square, getting lost as all else with his best friend, but not when the city resembled Antarctica.

"What are we doing today?" Blaine asked Kurt over the phone that morning, afraid of the answer.

"You'd still better be coming over because I took off for you, and Alek is staying at the library all day even though school's cancelled."

"That doesn't answer my question," Blaine said hesitantly.

"You big baby, we can stay in, watch our way through all eight Harry Potter movies. I know you hate snow."

Blaine sighed in relief.

Getting to Kurt's was an adventure, but once he was there, everything was instantly better.

"You're going to do what?" Blaine exclaimed, unsure he heard Kurt correctly.

"We can order pizza if you want. Alek and I didn't get around to food shopping yet, and unless you want to eat ice, we'd better call something in."

"But your rule…"

"I plan to religiously de-grease my pizza, and if we order from somewhere we haven't tried, I suppose that can count. Shut up, Blaine! I'm starving."

Kurt called around as Blaine popped in the first movie. It took a while to find a place that delivered in this weather, but eventually, pizza was on its way.

"They are so cute in this movie," Kurt admitted, staring at the screen.

"And they all grow up to be gorgeous. How does that work? What's in the water at Hogwarts?"

"Obviously magic," Kurt rolled his eyes.

This was their thing. They enjoyed geeking out with each other over Harry Potter. Kurt would have never watched them if Blaine hadn't forced them unto him, but he had to admit how much he enjoyed them (enough to buy all eight, actually). Blaine was the only one he'd watch them with though. This was theirs.

The day went by lazily. They ate pizza for lunch then leftover pizza for dinner and watched Harry Potter. Halfway through the fifth movie, Kurt realized that Alek wasn't back yet.

"If he's dead…" he trailed off, grabbing his phone and leaving the room.

He tried Alek at least three times before deciding his boyfriend wasn't concerned with answering his phone. Kurt sent him a text: **If you plan to sleep at the library, at least let me know.** He grabbed a blanket and went back into the living room.

Tossing the blanket over both himself and Blaine, they eased closer to each other, thoroughly warm.

Harry was kissing Cho when the boys dozed off.

Normally, Blaine was incredibly hard to wake up. He found himself super sensitive when he was with Kurt though. Sudden movements, quick noises, tighter (and sometimes looser) grasps, pulled Blaine from his otherwise deep sleep. He wouldn't move. He'd just settle himself back into sync with Kurt before dozing off again. He'd let Kurt go through his wake-up routine nonetheless. He didn't want to admit that sleeping with Kurt beside him changed his habits because that's strange.

Harry Potter-like music filled the room. Somehow, he and Kurt fell back against the couch instead of the way they were sitting in the middle of it before. Kurt held Blaine, his legs curled under Blaine's. Blaine opened his eyes. The dim light was enough to see Kurt's head rise and fall in the pattern of Blaine's breathing. The pace Kurt was moving picked up as Blaine's breathing increased speed. As if Kurt knew the change, he nuzzled his head against Blaine's stomach.

All of a sudden, the door shook. Panicked, Blaine threw Kurt off his body.

Startled, Kurt mumbled, "What? What's happening?"

The door swung open.

"It is the North Pole out there!" Alek's voice rang, as he flickered on the light. Both boys shielded their eyes like they were vampires in the sun.

"I should probably go," Blaine said, pulling himself up.

"God, no, Blaine. Stay. Kurt can make up the couch for you. It's _bad_ out there!" Alek insisted.

Kurt was folding the blanket, as he said, "Yeah, don't pretend you're not dreading going out in that. Just stay the night."

Blaine tuned Alek and Kurt out as they conversed with each other. He sat on the couch and felt _guilty_. All he did was hold Alek's fiancé – no harm done. Still, he kept hoping Kurt wouldn't feel the need to finish their marathon. He just wanted to sleep off these feelings – if he could fall back asleep at all.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Aw, don't be shy. You can review ;)


	8. It's beautiful and so are you

**Author's Note:** Aw, seriously, everyone loves Alek. =) Just to address what happened last chapter because some of you think he's cheating and wondered why he didn't pick up his phone…. He's a Dentistry Grad student. He was hardcore studying – to me, my phone doesn't exist when I study. =) And/or he was trudging through the snow, however you interpret the scene.

Also, I'm writing Alek to be a genuinely nice, kind of naïve, sweet guy, and that's problematic with a lot of my readers. You think it's inevitable that he'll get hurt, and that might be the case, but I'm fixing one broken hearted person right now – Blaine, who's a kind, sweet, naïve guy also. Maybe in _this_story Alek doesn't fair well, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have his own happy ending in another story (as fictional characters go).

Or maybe he doesn't end up broken hearted at all. There is _a lot_ of story left =)

For right now, here's the next chapter! (The note seems longer than the actual chapter).

* * *

><p><em>And you flashback to when he said forever and always.<em>

_Oh, and it rains in your bedroom. __Everything is wrong._

_It rains when you're here, __and it rains when you're gone._

_-Taylor Swift_

_xo_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eight<strong>

"_It's beautiful and so are you._"

_130 Days Until Kurt's Wedding__– 5:15 PM_

Kurt was sketching in his sketchbook when a loud bang at the door made his pencil drag across the page. Mumbling profanities, tossing his work down, he answered the door. When the door swung open, Blaine's smiling face was on the other side.

"Surprise!" he chimed holding a gift bag and a large wrapped box.

"You ruined my sketch. I'm_this_ close to slamming the door in your face."

Blaine rushed in before Kurt had a chance to follow through.

When he got to the coffee table, he saw the sketchbook and said, "Oh, it's just a little pencil mark. You can erase."

"It's all in pencil," Kurt mumbled to himself. "What's all that?"

"Just open it," Blaine said excited, shoving the gifts at Kurt.

He ripped the box open first. "A record player?"

"For these!" Blaine exclaimed, pulling the tissue paper out of the gift bag and pulling the opening wider so Kurt could see inside.

"Oh, these are really old," he said, grabbing a few. "Why all the gifts?"

"Your wedding music!"

Kurt snorted. "Youtube? We live in 2012, not the 70s."

"It's the gesture, Hummel. At least pretend this was thoughtful."

Kurt patted Blaine's shoulder. "It's very thoughtful, thank you. I have my wedding song picked out though."

Blaine didn't seem fazed by this new information though as he set up the record player.

"You have music for everything you do all night: all the entrances, cake cutting, mother-son dance, last dance, seriously, I almost made a _going-to-the-bathroom_-_playlist_; that's how precise you need to be."

Blaine tested the record player with a white album. It spun, and Blaine hovered the needle over the edge before setting it down. The middle of "Dear Prudence" by The Beatles started to play.

"How do you start it from the beginning?" Blaine grunted, kneeling in front of the machine.

Kurt laughed and tugged Blaine up. "I like this song. Who cares?"

Kurt placed Blaine's hand on his hip and rested his own hand on Blaine's shoulder then cupped their idle hands together. They started to sway awkwardly.

Blaine laughed, turning a light shade of pink. "This might be one of the gayest things we've ever done."

Kurt smiled wider and picked up the pace as the song did. Blaine couldn't stop staring at Kurt – how his face was lit up, how his eyes sort of glowed when he smiled. He'd never noticed this stuff before. And every time their eyes connected, his stomach would twist uneasily.

"_The sun is up. The sky is blue. It's beautiful and so are you_," Kurt sang softly.

"What's your wedding song?" Blaine asked abruptly.

Kurt pulled his eyes up. Blaine stomach insisted on flip-flopping.

"'Your Song' by Elton John, ala _Moulin Rouge!,_" Kurt said satisfied.

"Oh," Blaine muttered, his breath caught in his throat.

* * *

><p><strong>January – Freshman Year<strong>

Kurt had an 8AM class in the morning, and it was 2AM. He didn't see him or his roommate sleeping for a while though. Usually all-nighters were dedicated to studying or cramming. No, not the case: they were up planning their fantasy weddings.

"White. I want it all white!" Blaine said, almost jumping off his bed in excitement.

"For purity?" Kurt joked.

"Yes, for purity! You know I'm saving it," he retorted, throwing his pillow at Kurt. "But not only for that. White means the unknown, a fresh start…"

"An insane asylum."

"I also want lilies," Blaine continued. "Oh! Maybe white roses. No, lilies – they're cleaner looking."

"And that's what you're going for, I'm assuming," Kurt said seriously, and when Blaine didn't say anything, just stared, he added, "because of all the white."

"And what do you want? Bright, vibrant colors? Pastels?"

Kurt jumped off his bed and made his way to Blaine's bed, hopping onto it.

"I've planned out at least a dozen different weddings in scrapbooks that you will never be seeing. I also planned my dad and Carole's wedding in less than two weeks! I have so many ideas; I pity the man I marry."

Blaine started to shut the magazines that lay open on his bed, collecting them in his arms.

"We should go to bed," Blaine said. "We've spent too much time on something that might not even happen."

"Someone, _somewhere_ will want to marry you, Blaine. Don't be so pathetic," Kurt said with a smirk. Blaine pushed him off his bed.

"You know what I mean."

Laughing, Kurt flipped off the light and nestled into his bed. One day, gay marriage would be legal. One day they'll have the same rights of every other American. Until that day, it doesn't hurt to hope – to hope and plot out your dreams vicariously through others. That's what Kurt figured.

"What's your wedding song going to be?" Kurt whispered through the darkness.

Blaine didn't answer. After a few minutes, Kurt presumed he'd fallen asleep, so he shut his eyes and followed.

Right as sleep started to pull him under, Blaine whispered, "'Your Song' by Elton John. But I can't pick my wedding song alone. The fiancé should have_some_ say."

Kurt smiled even though Blaine couldn't see it. "That's up for argument."

* * *

><p><em>130 Days Until Kurt's Wedding<em>_– 5:20 PM_

"I love that song," Blaine whispered, pulling his arms around Kurt's shoulders so that his head was tucked into the crook of Kurt's neck.

"I know," Kurt whispered back, drawing his arms around Blaine.

Blaine couldn't put a finger on what he was feeling in this current moment. Safe? Loved? He's felt all of those emotions around Kurt before though. Whatever it was, he let it consume him.

The song continued to play, and they continued to dance. Then the door opened.

"Kurt, did you-"

Alek stopped mid-sentence. Blaine and Kurt separated immediately as if there was a bomb about to ignite between them. Both looked shocked. Both looked guilty.

"Wow, in our tight circle of gay friends, _that_might possibly be the gayest thing I've ever seen," Alek joked.

Kurt instantly laughed, pulling Alek into a hug. Blaine chuckled uncomfortably. As Alek held Kurt, he wouldn't make eye contact with Blaine. Alek was smiling, but Blaine could tell it wasn't a real smile. Behind his façade, Blaine saw traces of what Alek was covering up. Alek was jealous.

And suddenly, Blaine felt ten inches tall.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Hmmm, that was very short. Sorry. Haha. At least I update a lot. =b This was kinda just a building chapter with a lot of small clues, details, and such =)


	9. You deserve to be happy

_But if I look to my right,_

_Will I see the one I fight for, if I look to my right? _

_Or if I turn to my left,_

_Will I see that I've kept my heart locked up?_

_Locked up so tight._

_-Ingrid Michaelson_

_xo_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nine<strong>

"You deserve to be happy."

_109 Days Until Kurt's Wedding_

"Just there!" Kurt exclaimed, stretching his arms in front of him.

Blaine smiled and tried to image what Kurt was imagining just past his fingertips. Kurt had dragged Blaine along to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden, a very popular location for weddings. The two were standing in an empty lot with a huge, bare tree plopped in the middle.

"Now, picture it without the snow, with the warm summer sun shining overhead. Flower petals are floating through the air; some are resting on the ground – just pink, against the white. There are around a hundred white chairs in rows coming towards us and a trail of white lilies leading to the altar. Can you see it?"

Blaine melted the snow in his mind, cast the dark, puffy clouds away, filling the sky with sun, the tree filled with pink leaves, and his mind watches the flowers blow in the wind. The chairs manifested and prickles of green grass poked from the ground. Suddenly, in his mind, he saw Kurt in the suit he was wearing at Lord & Taylor, walking over white lilies down the aisle. Blaine shook the vision away.

"It's the perfect wedding," Blaine said half-heartedly.

Kurt kicked at the snow on the ground, lowering his eyes. "It's so close."

"Are these nerves?"

"No," Kurt breathed. "These are _I-can't-believe-I'm-_allowed_-to-get-married-yet-I'm-second-guessing-everything_."

Blaine gave him a sympathetic smile. "That's also known as nerves. If this wasn't an easy decision, we wouldn't have all those vows. I could marry people just by saying 'Okay, I approve!' and what significant would that have? So many people on Grey's Anatomy would be wed without any consent." He took Kurt's hand. "It's going to be hard because this is hard."

"Why? I love Alek. That should be enough. How do I know for sure that we'll make it?"

"Where do you see yourself in five years?" Blaine asked. "Realistically."

Kurt thought for a second. "Working under the big fashion heads. I'm not an intern, but I've still only got my foot in the door."

"In ten years?"

Kurt bit his lip. "I see myself inching my way up, my own fashion line in the works."

"In twenty years."

"I'm successful. My line's doing so great."

"And where's Alek?"

Kurt crossed his arms. "He's there," he mutters. "At five years, he's working as a dentist. In ten, he's starting his own office."

"What about your life _together_. What's happening in twenty years?"

Kurt starts to absentmindedly walk, skimming his foot over the snow before he places his boot down. He looked up at Blaine.

"We're living in the middle of New York. I'm handing out his cards at my events. When I fall asleep at my studio, he wakes me up in the morning before he going to the office. When he comes home, I'm cooking us a new recipe someone at work talked about in passing. We're happy."

"Good," Blaine sighed.

"Why'd you have me do that?"

"Because if you can't see a future now, who's to say you'll have one then?"

Kurt reached down and took a small handful of snow then tossed it at Blaine. It just sprinkled through the air. Blaine grinned as some of it tickled his face.

"This is why you got an A in Psychology, and I got a B+," Kurt joked.

"Come on. Let's go."

They walked up the snowy pathway. It was gorgeous here, Blaine decided, even in the winter. Everything was white. All the trees were covered in a thin layer of snow which made them look like they were sprouting white flowers from their branches. Blaine and Kurt walked passed the lake. The cold was freezing over the water – half rippled, half stayed idle and white.

As they tried to walk across the bridge, ice made their feet slide. Kurt grabbed a hold of Blaine, and Blaine grabbed a hold of the wall.

"It's a beautiful view from here. Can we stop?" Blaine questioned, pulling Kurt towards him. He didn't have to move to move.

"Sure, maybe the ice will melt by the time we walk again," Kurt said, skating to Blaine's side. "It's hard to picture a summer wedding in the winter. It's all imagination, and I know I'm going to be disappointed because my imagination is extravagant."

"From experience, all the little details don't matter the day of. All I was concerned about was Eddie showing up."

Blaine's gaze dropped to the water directly below. Kurt reached out and held his hand. Looking at the reflection, Kurt tried to make eye contact.

"What future did you see with Eddie?" Kurt mumbled, squeezing Blaine's hand.

Blaine didn't hesitate. "I didn't."

"You didn't see anything?"

"I loved him. I thought that was enough, that we'd figure it out together," Blaine said. He squeezed Kurt's hand. "I didn't see him leaving though. I didn't see this."

Kurt breathed really slow, watching the infrequent snowflake drift passed his eyes before casting them down.

"You're going to make someone so happy one day, Blaine."

Blaine met Kurt's eyes through the reflection of the water. The shattered pieces of his heart rose then crashed back down.

"You deserve to be happy," Kurt said.

And Blaine wanted to be, he really did, but he couldn't bring himself to be. What Blaine wanted most was for Kurt to be happy. He never meant to turn this around, to make this visit about himself. He wanted Kurt to forget his worries, not relive Blaine's awful wedding experience, which made his worries worse.

Blaine tightened his grip on Kurt's hand and pulled them both away from the wall. Moving his feet as if he had skates on, Blaine glided across the bridge.

"These are expensive pants," Kurt whined, "if they rip…"

The weather seemed to drop as the two ventured home. The snow even stopped falling – it was too cold for even the snow. Kurt's apartment was like the Caribbean the two realized as they walked inside.

Alek was lying on the couch, a textbook on his chest and a highlighter on the ground next to his open hand.

Kurt made an exasperated noise. "His highlighter is open! He's lucky it didn't stain the rug, or I'd be drawing on his face right now."

Blaine was digging through the cabinets. "Do you have anything for pain?"

"I shouldn't be offering you any," Kurt stated, reaching for the top shelf, "because it's your own fault you fell – skating around like a twelve year old."

"I'm twelve to your sixty, grandpa."

"Respect your superiors or you're not getting any dinner."

Blaine playfully rolled his eyes as he downed two Tylenol. Kurt made his way to Alek again. He capped the highlighter and tossed it onto his sleeping fiancé. It bounced off the textbook and hit Alek in the face. He jumped up with a yelp.

"Calm down," Kurt said, tapping Alek's legs.

"How long was I out?" Alek asked, rubbing his eyes.

"I don't know. You weren't even here when Blaine and I left."

Alek forced his eyes open. "You were with Blaine all day?"

"Still with Blaine," Kurt said, gesturing to Blaine who appeared at his side. He waved briefly. Alek smiled briefly.

"Where'd you guys go? I was studying with Dex and decided I'd better come home before it started storming. But that was a bit ago."

"Brooklyn Botanic Garden," Kurt retorted.

"Why?" Alek asked.

Blaine was confused as to why Kurt never told Alek about this place. "Kurt was showing me where the wedding's going to be."

Alek's brow furrowed then he pursed his lips together as if his thought was having a long journey from his brain to his mouth.

"Oh," he eventually said. "Kurt, could I talk to you?"

"You are talking to me."

"Alone?" Alek said quietly, eyeing only Kurt.

Blaine saw the confusion in Kurt's eyes before it washed away as he turned to him.

"Could you take the chicken out of the freezer to defrost and start boiling a pot of water?" Kurt asked nicely. Blaine nodded, walking away.

Kurt pulled Alek up, tossing his fiancé's book down on the couch. He pulled him into their bedroom.

"Blaine knows we're talking about him. Could you have made it any more obvious?" Kurt said in a harsh whisper as soon as the door snapped shut.

"Why'd you take him there?" Alek asked.

"To show him-"

"No, why him? Why not me? Why does he get to see our wedding location before I do?"

"You're overreacting," Kurt said frustrated, shaking his head.

"Am I?"

"You are. I was just showing him the ugly plot of land I want to marry you in!" Kurt said, his voice rising. "Did you ever think I wanted to wait to show you when it looked decent? Did you ever think I'd possibly pick somewhere else? Blaine's around to help me make my decisions. I show you the finished product."

"That's not how this works! You don't choose everything, and I'm just there for the final reaction."

Kurt ran his hands through his stiff hair. "You're not interested in these things. If I took you there, you'd have been bored out of your mind. Blaine understands that I go there to envision what'll be. All you'd see is a snow-filled field."

"I just want to be included," Alek muttered.

"Fine, I'll take you there tomorrow."

Kurt spun towards the door.

Blaine was in the kitchen, filling a deep pot with water. He was straining his ears to hear what Alek and Kurt were saying. He didn't condone eavesdropping, but he heard his name. The door clicked open, only to be snapped shut. There was murmuring, but Blaine couldn't make out what they were saying. He set the pot on the stovetop, and let it start to boil.

Tiptoeing across the living room, he stood close enough to the door to hear them talking.

"And again, you are overreaching," Kurt grunted.

"Stop saying that. If this was me, you'd understand," Alek retorted.

"This is you! You're always with Dex who happens to be your best friend and your old college roommate. You're always studying or meeting up for lunch. Doesn't that sound familiar? Here's the exception: I don't accuse you of cheating with him!"

Blaine's mouth fell open. In his head, he saw Kurt's reaction: eyes narrowing, face flushing, expression wild with anger. Kurt was like a bomb when you set him off.

"You're always with him, and…"

"Alek, you make no sense. I'm not going to keep trying to convince you that your crazy notions aren't true. I'm tired to trying to have you believe me that Blaine is just my best friend."

"You don't hold your best friend's hand. You don't dance with your best friend like I've seen. You don't sleep with, cuddle with, or look at your best friend the way you do!"

Blaine almost dropped to the floor. He'd only thought for brief moments that their behavior bordered the line of friendship; it never really occurred to him enough to worry because he never thought they'd pass that line. He'd never heard it out loud either. That's how they acted; they always have. It was never wrong, not to them. Hearing Alek's perspective, it tore him apart. Blaine saw Alek's reactions to things. He wouldn't ever let the idea of Alek being uneasy with them settle with him. Alek was supposed to understand that this was his and Kurt's friendship. Not only did he not understand, he hated it.

"That's how we are, Alek," Kurt spoke.

"If so, then I'm going to keep having these thoughts of you leaving to be with him."

"If I told you a million times, he's not the one I choose, you still wouldn't believe me!"

There wasn't anything exchanged. Blaine pressed his ear closer to the door, and if he hadn't, he wouldn't have heard what Alek whispered.

"Because you haven't chosen."

Kurt was probably shooting him daggers right now. "_Fine._"

As soon as Blaine heard Kurt's footsteps, he bolted away from the door. Kurt pulled it open. He froze seeing Blaine standing in the middle of the room. Blaine was twisting his coat in his hands, looking at the ground.

"I'm sorry," Blaine mumbled.

Without a second glance, he left.

Alek, the one man who's so in love with Kurt, believes his heart's still open, that he's not 100% in love with him. For some reason, this made Blaine unsettled. Actually, Blaine suddenly knew the reason.

He loved Kurt.

He was in love with Kurt and didn't realize it until this second.

All else failed. He couldn't move. He couldn't breath. He just fell and curled up against the wall.

He didn't want to love Kurt. And this fact hit him hard.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> As a tease, I'm_really_ looking forward to writing the next chapter, more than any other chapter =)


	10. Kurt had him, completely

_I hope that you see right through my walls._

_I hope that you catch me,_

_'cause I'm already falling._

_-Christina Perri_

_xo_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Ten<strong>

And that was it. Kurt had him. Completely.

_New Year's __Eve 2011_

Blaine never understood the hype of celebrating the coming of the next year. To him, it was just an excuse to get drunk and for creepers to grope at you at the midnight blackout. No, thank you, not for him.

Nonetheless, Blaine spilled on his cocktail, sitting on the arm of a chair. It was a fairly big party; he had to commend Eddie on finding it. Maybe if he loosened up some more he could have some fun, but he was trying to keep an eye out for Eddie, Kurt, and Alek. Each had their own level of crazy-drunk.

Eddie suddenly appeared at Blaine's side.

"Honey, honey, baby, sweetie, sweetheart, I found a guy that says Elvis isn't dead and living in Nebraska under the alias Caption McDonald. Come talk to him. I think he's a genius!" Eddie rambled, tugged at his fiancé.

"Woah," Blaine gasped, wide eyed, "you've had one too many drinks!"

As Blaine reached up to take Eddie's martini away from him, he gulped it down.

"Two too many drinks, baby. Two too like a tutu," Eddie giggled, tipping back his drink to get every last drop.

Eddie grabbed another drink from a girl next to him who was in the middle of a conversation. She reacted then found him uninteresting within seconds. Eddie sipped on the alcohol. When Blaine tried to steal it, Eddie pushed it over his head.

"I'm talker than you. You can't reach it," Eddie taunted, "unless you grow a foot in a few minutes. Blaine, Blaine, I met a guy that did. Do you want to meet him?"

Without warning, Blaine stared, right past Eddie's head, as Alek struggled to get up onto the kitchen table. He tumbled to the ground, a bowl of limes spilling all over him. He laughed, laying there for a minute.

"Eddie, do you think you could watch Alek? He's going to hurt himself," Blaine said, pointing past Eddie's head.

Eddie looked at Blaine's fingers incredulously, like they were glowing or made of marshmallow. Wide eyed, open mouthed, he dragged his eyes along Blaine's arm and eventually looked in the direction of Alek.

"ALEK! Why did you fall asleep?" Eddie yelped, charging at Alek.

Blaine drained his cocktail. He'd need to loosen up to deal with these people. As he grabbed another drink, he realized he hadn't seen Kurt since he and Alek were downing shots like champs in turns at the beginning of the party.

To get a better view of the room, Blaine stood on the couch. Over the heads of the chatting party goers, he tried to find Kurt's perfectly styled hair.

"Did you talk to that guy?" Eddie said. "Because it may be the alcohol talking, but I think you're taller."

Oh God, now Alek was gone.

"You're going to be my husband, Blaine Ricky Ricardo, and even though I'm the Spanish one and you're not the Spanish one, I'll be your Lucy, Blaine. I_love_ you."

Blaine gapped at Eddie. He was so drunk!

"Say you love me! SAY YOU LOVE ME BACK!" Eddie shouted. For a second, everyone looked at them. When they realized their drinks or friends or significant others were more interesting, they lost focus.

"I love you. You are so drunk," Blaine said, looking over people's heads. "Can you find Alek again? He can't leave this house, or he'll get caught and will lose his college scholarships."

Eddie sniffled. "Okay," he said sadly. "I don't want that to happen. I like Alek. He'll be our dentist when he's done with dentist school. I don't want anyone else in my mouth." Eddie took a long, dramatic pause then burst out laughing. "That's what she said!"

He placed the empty glass into the hand of the girl he stole it from and walked away. She glanced down at it.

"Did I drink it all?" she said dreamily to her date/friend.

Jumping off the cough, he poured his drink into her glass ("Oh, I didn't drink it!"), and weaved his way through the crowd.

Blaine was worried about Kurt. If he let his mind wander, he'd be seeing images of Kurt unknowingly chugging down the date-rape drug. He shook the rest of the notion out of his head.

"Kurt!" Blaine called.

"That is my name," a voice, very precise said.

Ducking under a huge tray of food, Blaine made his way to the voice. Sitting on the window sill with two rather pretty girls was Kurt. An empty martini glass sat on his lap, and his face was screwed up in concentration.

"HA!" he ejected, spitting out whatever was in his mouth – a small red knot, which Blaine realized was a tied cherry stem.

The two girls huffed in disappointment.

"You have to show me how you do that!" the slender blonde insisted. She pouted a little, leaning towards Kurt.

"Magic!" Kurt spoke, wiggling his fingers between him and the girls. Both stared in amazement at his fingers.

"Magic," the redhead repeated in awe.

The blonde nudged her friend. "Go get more cherries!" she whined.

The redhead skipped away, and the blonde pushed closer to Kurt. She ran her fingers along Kurt's collar then suddenly tugged him forward.

"Show me," she said seductively, leaning into a kiss.

Blaine felt like he was watching a slow-moving motion picture. Snapping back into reality, he launched forward, slipping his hand between their mouths. The girl started to passionately kiss Blaine's fingers, which made Blaine want to gag. Kurt gave his hand a quick peck, pulling away and looking at him happily.

"Stop kissing Blaine," Kurt insisted, pushing her away. "Don't kiss his face either. He's really gay, but when he's drunk, he's really straight. So don't kiss him, or I'll strangle you with your slutty, strappy heals, Taylor Swift."

Kurt got up and marched past Blaine, leaving the blonde looking stunned. Turning, he immediately lost Kurt in the crowd. _Damn._ In his second search for Kurt, Blaine ran into Eddie and Alek.

He needed more alcohol before dealing with what he was looking at.

Downing a shot, he watched as his fiancé downed his own shot then licked salt from Alek's arm and bite into a lime. The two boys laughed hysterically. _They were so damn drunk!_

_At least Eddie wasn't __taking body shots off a stranger,_ Blaine thought, approaching the pair.

A hand gripped his forearm. Spinning away from Alek and Eddie, the booze made his eyes foggy, and he didn't realize it was Kurt tugging him away.

"Let's divorce them," Kurt said seriously, handing Blaine a handful of limes. "They're cheating on us."

Blaine laughed which cost him a nasty look from Kurt. Before he could say anything else, Kurt leaned in and ran his tongue along Blaine's neck, giving the boy insane shivers. Sloppily, Kurt shook salt onto the wet line on Blaine's neck.

"You are not taking body shots off me," Blaine said, slapping off the salt.

In retort, Kurt gripped the back of Blaine's neck and pulled him in. He slowly dragged his tongue up to retrieve the salt, suddenly pausing to nip at Blaine's earlobe then took the shot and quickly tucked the lime into Blaine's open mouth which Kurt's mouth immediately pressed against. Gasping, Blaine almost swallowed the lime. He felt Kurt's tongue fishing for the fruit. Blaine pushed it towards him and he bit down, splashing juice around Blaine's mouth. He puckered, pulling away from Kurt.

He wasn't drunk enough for that.

Kurt was preparing to do another, when Blaine got thrown to the floor.

"Go die!" Eddie yelled, tears splattering down his face. He immediately ran away.

Blaine pulled himself up. Kurt unknowingly nibbled on a lime, watching the scene as if it wasn't interesting at all. Blaine threw Kurt a harsh glare and ran after Eddie.

He seriously spent the rest of the party looking for Eddie. He vanished, even though the car they took was still parked outside. From upstairs, Blaine heard the one minute countdown. Where in the hell was Eddie? Bounding down the steps, he almost knocked Kurt up and over the banister.

"Have you seen Eddie?" Blaine asked, gripping Kurt's shoulders because he was swaying.

"NO, I HAVE TO FIND ALEK! WE HAVE TO KISS AT MIDNIGHT!" he shouted frantically, pushing past Blaine.

Sighing, he peered over the crowd. He saw Alek but didn't see Eddie. Seriously?

10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4…

Without warning, there was a hand on his shoulder. A wave of relief washed over him.

3. 2…

He turned.

1.

The lights flicked off.

The hand on his shoulder moved through his curly hair, tangling in it. Settling on the step directly above his, Blaine felt a warm breath against his face. It smelled tangy and alcohol-thick. Somehow in the next second, lips were unexpectedly against his.

Blaine's body reacted very slowly. He lost my breath in shock, leaving an ache in his lungs. His eyes tried desperately to see the kisser's eyes but they forced themselves shut soon. The alcohol in his stomach splashed around, making his brain fizzy. But his lips, they were on fire.

So Blaine slid his hands up the person's back, kissing harder. He didn't want to get drunk off of alcohol. He wanted to get drunk off this, this kissing, this boy. Kurt.

He saw him right before the lights clicked off.

Blaine forced Kurt up the steps. Fumbling in the darkness, he frantically kissed his friend, until they banged roughly against the wall. Kurt detached his lips and focused on Blaine's neck, making him gasp. He pressed Kurt completely into the wall. Every inch of their bodies were touching. His palm pressed flat on the wall but slipped down to feel for a door.

He found one. Grabbing at Kurt's tie, he pulled him into the room. The moon shined through the window, giving them enough light to find their way around. Switching directions, Kurt's fingers slipped into Blaine's pant pockets and pulled him forward. They fell into the bed. Taking short breaths, Kurt kissed Blaine again, softly, cupping his cheek.

"You're drunk," Blaine whispered.

"I know," Kurt mumbled, pulling up Blaine's sweater.

"You're only supposed to kiss _once_ on New Year's," Blaine insisted.

"I know," Kurt said, feeling the skin of Blaine's stomach.

"I'm not Alek."

Kurt stopped moving. He pulled back, searching Blaine's face. Kurt's eyes were glossy, so they glittered in the moonlight. Blaine was slowly falling apart.

Kurt kissed him. Really kissed him. It broke down all of Blaine's defenses. No kiss has ever done that before.

"I know," Kurt whispered against his lips, "Blaine."

And that was it. Kurt had him. Completely.

* * *

><p><em>New Year's <em>_Day 2012_

_The sun!_ Blaine thought as the beams of light attacked his face. Holding up his hand as a shield, he sat up. Pulling his eyes open, the room came into focus. This wasn't familiar. Where was he?

A body shuffled next to him. He looked down.

Kurt? It was Kurt, balled up, holding onto to something. A sweater. Blaine's sweater. Blaine looked down. Why…?

"Shit."

Suddenly, what happened last night came over him.

"Shit. Shit shit shit shit."

Climbing out of bed, he searched the room for his pants. They hung on the doorknob. Pulling them over his underwear (which he thankfully still had on), he untangled Kurt's hands from around his sweater. Kurt pulled the blankets against him as a substitute for the loss of sweater.

What did he do?

_I know exactly what I did. I drunkenly made-out with a wasted Kurt, until we got too tangled in our discarded clothing, too frantic__in kissing and touching, too exhausted that we passed out in each other's arms. I've woken up with Kurt in my bed before, but_not like this_!_ Blaine thought, staring down at his friend.

"Shit."

* * *

><p><em>109 Days Until Kurt's Wedding<em>

Blaine never meant to be a home-wrecker. He just realized he loved Kurt too late. It was too late, and Blaine would never do anything to ruin Kurt and Alek's relationship.

Footsteps echoed in the hall. Still frozen, Blaine stayed put. Kurt had obviously chased after him.

"What'd you hear?" Kurt questioned softly, staring down at Blaine.

Breathing heavily, he said, "I never meant to come between you two. I don't want him to think what he's thinking."

Kurt kneeled down. "He's paranoid. He thinks I'll leave him the way Eddie left you."

Blaine looked up hysterically. "You can't, Kurt. I know how that feels, and it's like someone's reconstructing your heart from the inside without your consent at all."

Kurt brushed a few curls off Blaine's forehead. "I wasn't even considering leaving him. I love him. I also love you, and what him to respect what we have."

"What do we have?"

Suddenly, the night of New Year's flashed through his mind. Blaine tried numerous times to clue Kurt in on what happened, trying to get a response, but Kurt doesn't remember _anything_ when he gets completely drunk. Blaine didn't mean it to happen, and at the time, there were no feelings attached.

Blaine was seeing Kurt differently now, like the beer goggles were off. And that night… although, he'd pushed away all thoughts of it, made himself believe it was one huge mistake, pretended it didn't even happen, there were feelings – feelings he wasn't strong enough to face yet.

He loved Kurt. Even then.

So, what did that make New Year's? Accident and mistake were much better words than cheater.

"This," Kurt mumbled, drawing his arms around Blaine. "We have this weird relationship, Blaine. But I know your arms, more than any other arms I've been in, are home."

Home. Blaine was home. Something familiar. Something worth coming back to. Somewhere you go when you're lonely. Because someone you love will be there waiting. A safe house. This was Blaine to Kurt.

But Kurt to Blaine? He was more than just _home_. He was everything.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Yup. I loved writing that chapter =) What was your favorite part? I had a bunch of favorite moments/lines, haha!


	11. He came back

_So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me._

_No, I won't ask you, you to just desert me._

_I can't give you what you think you gave me._

_-Adele_

_xo_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eleven<strong>

He came back.

_69 Days Until Kurt's Wedding_

Blaine twisted his copy of _Sky Mall,_strongly regretting this trip. For the past month, he'd been trying to stop his feelings for Kurt all together. But as Kurt gradually fell asleep in his plane seat, Blaine watched as his friend's head fell onto his shoulder and realized that whatever distance he'd put between them hadn't done a thing. He still loved Kurt.

Things changed in a month. One minute he's crumpled up in Kurt's hallway, listening to his friend talk about how Blaine's his _home_, and the next he's avoiding Kurt's calls and texts, never accepting plans to hang out. The guilt left this constant ache that was hard for Blaine to ignore.

He stopped thinking about Eddie. Blaine couldn't decide if losing Kurt was affecting him more. He didn't want to admit that this was worse, that losing Kurt would be one of the worse things he'd ever endure. He was doing it to be a good friend though.

The days slowly crept by until one week ago when Blaine made the mistake of going home after work.

He rounded the corner of his hallway, and suddenly saw someone sitting in front of his door. As he inched closer, he knew it was Kurt and was thinking of different escape scenarios. His feet had their own agenda though and were moving without command.

"I've been waiting here for six hours," Kurt said irritated as Blaine approached. He must have seen apprehension in Blaine's eyes because he added, "The least you could give me in six minutes."

"What are you doing here?" Blaine asked, unlocking his apartment door.

"On the off-day, I sit outside your apartment, waiting for you."

"Why?" Blaine said as if that was one of the most irrational things he's ever heard.

"Because my best friend checked out of our friendship without giving me any warning at all, and I don't handle rejection well," Kurt said gruffly.

Blaine wouldn't look at Kurt who stood in the middle of the living room with his arms crossed.

"I'm sorry…"

Kurt made a disgusted noise. "You're sorry?" he exclaimed.

"What else is there to say?" Blaine muttered, pulling a water from the fridge.

Kurt marched across the threshold, gripped Blaine's arm, spun him around, took the water, chucked it across the living room, and began yelling.

"You could say what I did to make you hate me! Or why you've been ignoring me for a month! Blaine, if I didn't come and force you to talk, would you have come to me? What if I was too mad at you and said it was too late? Would you even care or fight? What did I do to make you give up on me?"

Kurt was crying, and Blaine's insides were combusting.

Good. That's what Blaine deserved. He had been selfishly narrow-minded and only thought of himself when he chose to distant himself from Kurt.

In his head, he answered the questions simply, _I'm forcing myself to stop loving you so I could be just your friend again._

"At least this is making Alek happy," Kurt said bitterly.

And although that's what Blaine wanted, a jolt of anger zipped up his spin, making his head heavy.

"Kurt, I'm sorry. Things aren't want they used to be," Blaine mumbled.

Kurt stated at him, eyes wide open, swimming with tears. "Blaine, you're going to keep talking until I accept your apology."

Kurt crossed his arms and waited. Blaine sighed.

The half-truths just poured out of his mouth. "What Alek though… I just, I didn't want to ever make you two fight like that again. I figured, if I kept away from you long enough, Alek would change his mind about me. I was selfish. I never thought about what you'd think. I never thought about patching things up. I just assumed we'd be okay. If you hadn't come, I don't know what would have happened, when I would have come back. Just the thought of losing you, Kurt…"

Kurt flung forward, wrapping his arms around Blaine. They both held on as if this was the last time they'd get to do this. Blaine's heart wailed against his chest, and he was surprised that Kurt didn't bounce from the rhythm.

On the plane, Blaine gave up about ten minutes ago on caring what the people around him thought. He just watched Kurt, how his chest rose and fell, how his eyelashes sat gently on his cheeks, how soft his lips looked. When Blaine made an effort to remove his eyes, he'd find something else of Kurt's to interest him.

_How didn't I notice him before? And why is everything I'm noticing seem brand new to me?_ Blaine thought, as Kurt's eyes shifted under his lids.

Blaine wanted Kurt to stay asleep. If he was awake, he'd be thinking about the fight he had with Alek the other night.

Alek assumed he was Kurt's other plane ticket, but that seat was reserved for Blaine. Kurt wanted to make up for the time they'd lost in that month apart, and Alek had a fit. Again, a fight Blaine had caused. Kurt told Alek he needed space and was making an effort in not checking his phone.

Eventually, the plane landed and Blaine had to wake Kurt. He was groggy but was relatively pleased to see Blaine's face staring down at him.

The day got better when Kurt saw his family.

* * *

><p><em>66 <em>_Days Until Kurt's Wedding – _**Kurt**

Kurt filled his old living room with dioramas, posters, and samples that made his house look like an art studio. His dad and Carole were perched on the couch, eyes flitting over his wedding ideas.

He slapped his pointer against the palm of his other hand. "…and with the white, the colors will just pop! How dreamy is this turning out?"

His father smiled. "I remember when you were in 1st grade, and you'd have ceremonies for your Power Rangers. This definitely tops those."

Kurt looked pleased, bobbing in place. "I guess I've picked up a few things along the way."

"Kurt, honey, this wedding's going to be wonderful," Carole said, standing up to pull Kurt into a hug, kissing his forehead. "You should go into business doing this. Save Finn from his plans of getting married on a football field in the middle of winter…save us all."

Kurt laughed. His step-brother would think up something that incomprehensible.

"I'll go start on lunch. Are you two hungry?" Carole asked. When both men nodded, she walked off.

"Kurt, sit with me, would you?" his dad said gingerly. Kurt apprehensively took a seat. "I need to talk to you about something, well…someone."

Kurt looked puzzled.

* * *

><p><em>66 <em>_Days Until Kurt's Wedding – _**Blaine**

Blaine looked around the Lima Bean with a grin on his face.

"God, I haven't been here in a while!" Blaine said, eyes wide. The Lima Bean was the only coffee shop between Westerville and Lima, so he and Kurt would always make summer coffee runs here. It's been almost two years.

"I never drink coffee, but it was either this or Breadstix, and my mom would gut us if we didn't eat at home," Finn said, studying the drink menu carefully. "She misses cooking for Kurt and I. I don't know why. I hate cooking. I burn everything, seriously. Once I set the fridge temperature too high, and it froze our milk, so I microwaved a huge frozen chunk with my cereal, and it exploded."

Blaine stifled a laugh. He'd only met Finn a handful of times over the summer when he'd visit Kurt. Finn was Quarterback for Ohio State and was on Spring Break right now. Kurt shooed them out of the house, insisting that if they don't plan the Bachelor Party now, they'll never throw one. As hard as it was to admit (or not admit), if Kurt's bachelor party reflected Blaine's at all, he'd gouge his own eyes out.

Kurt didn't go because he wasn't in the bridal party, but Blaine told him his _brother_ (which actually means his parents) planned for them to have a weekend at a winery. It was calm and relaxing apparently but got tedious. Chad, his thirteen year old brother, couldn't even go. He wasn't old enough.

"So, what do gay guys do at bachelor parties?" Finn asked nonchalant.

"The same thing as straight guys, I suppose," Blaine answered, taking his medium drop to their table by the window.

"So, strippers and alcohol?"

Blaine cringed. "I guess. This is going to be so awkward."

Finn sipped at his drink, looking away from Blaine. "Yeah, especially since you're in love with my brother."

Blaine choked.

* * *

><p><em>66 <em>_Days Until Kurt's Wedding – _**Kurt**

"Someone?" Kurt asked, picking at the fabric on his pants.

"I'm just concerned," his dad said, leaning in so not to talk loudly, "as to why Blaine is here and Alek isn't."

Kurt bit his lip. "I had fights with both of them."

"And you chose Blaine?"

Kurt couldn't help but feel angry. "Don't say that!" he spat. When Kurt realized how shocked and confused his dad looked, he rambled, "I'm sorry. It's just…Alek thinks I have something going on with Blaine, and Blaine doesn't want to come between us, so he's been distant, and Alek is being clingy, and I just needed a break from him and time to patch things up with Blaine."

Kurt's dad hesitated but eventually said, "Maybe Alek has a point."

Kurt gasped, standing up. "Are you serious?"

His dad looked really guilty, however, stated, "I mean, you told me you had feelings for Blaine in college."

"That was in college! What are you saying?"

"I'm just saying…I just saying that maybe they haven't gone away," he said simply.

"Dad, I wouldn't be marrying another guy if I loved someone else. I've been over Blaine for years! He's my best friend. He's important to me."

"More important than Alek?"

Kurt crossed his arms and started to pace. "He…is. Kinda. He's my best friend, dad! I'm not choosing!"

"I'm not telling you, you should, but you marry your best friend – usually. Your husband becomes your best friend."

"Dad, I don't understand why you're telling me this. Are you talking me out of marrying Alek? I've been with him for three years!" Kurt said frustrated.

"I just don't want you to settle."

"I'm not settling. I love Alek. I don't love Blaine, and even if I did, he doesn't love me."

There was a long pause, and Kurt assumed the conversation was over. He whipped around and started collecting his things.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," his dad muttered, and Kurt's mouth fell open.

He was about to ask his father to elaborate when his cell rang, catching him by surprise.

* * *

><p><em>66 <em>_Days Until Kurt's Wedding – _**Blaine**

Blaine wiped at the coffee dripping down his chin, staring unbelievingly at Finn.

"What?" Blaine gasped.

"Exactly," Finn bragged.

"No," Blaine stated, putting his drink down completely, "what do you mean that I love him?"

Finn smiled. "You love him. You're in love with him. You want to make little Kurt babies and grow up in a big house with a white picket fence. You love my brother."

"I don't love your brother," Blaine said firmly.

"Okay, maybe you didn't always love him, but you love him now. Come on. You can't look at Kurt the way you do and not love him. Does he know?"

Blaine wished he'd have actually died chocking on the coffee. This was_painful_.

"I-I-erm, I didn't-"

"It's cool, dude. I won't say anything. You don't even have to admit it to me," Finn responded. "It must be hard…hypothetically loving my brother."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "It just happened," he confessed quietly, sipping at his drink sheepishly.

A huge smile rolled across Finn's face. "Kurt was so into you at one point. Why didn't you go for it then?"

Blaine didn't like thinking about that because, yes, why didn't he 'go for it then'? Things would be a lot simpler, if a) he realized Kurt had feelings for him and b) he realized he had feelings for Kurt.

"I was with Eddie for the longest time," Blaine admitted regrettably.

"Oh right, you were gonna marry that dude. Would you be married to him now if he didn't bail?" Finn asked easily.

Blaine thought about it for a second. This wasn't something he'd ever thought about.

"I guess," he said finally. "I'd be married and still never have realized how I've always loved Kurt."

"Always, huh?"

"Even before I knew Eddie and Kurt knew Alek, yeah."

Finn screwed up his face, thoughtful. "Why didn't you try dating? There must have been a spark, some idea of going on one little date."

Blaine shrugged, sucking in a breath. Leaning against the table, looking up at the ceiling, he answered, "Relationships are so unstable to me. I just wanted to have Kurt around as long as I could. I didn't want to screw up something good."

Finn said sadly, "You could have had something great."

Blaine slumped a little. "Could have, yeah."

* * *

><p><em>66 <em>_Days Until Kurt's Wedding – _**Kurt**

"Hey, Kurt, listen. Don't hang up, okay. I know you want your space and stuff, but something happened…"

Alek sounded remorseful. Kurt gulped. "What happened?"

Alek took a deep sigh. "Eddie. It's Eddie."

"Eddie? What… did something happen? Is he hurt? Oh my-"

"No, Kurt, no," Alek said abruptly. "He came back."

He came back? He came back. No…

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Ehh. I didn't really like this chapter. Sorry if it disappointed. Thanks for all the feedback though! =)


	12. I don't believe in fate

_After all, we're only human – always fighting what we're feeling, hurt instead of healing…_

_-Jon Mclaughlin_

_xo_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twelve<strong>

"I don't believe in fate."

_64 Days Until Kurt's Wedding_

Kurt knew Blaine was stalling. But Kurt didn't mind. He'd be stalling too.

The windshield wipers in his old Escalade (Finn's current car) slapped rapidly back and forth against the rain. Blaine watched them, almost hypnotized. Kurt watched Blaine.

"I want to go inside," Blaine muttered, eyes still looking away from Kurt.

"Isn't that breaking and entering?" Kurt questioned, trying to see past the rain.

They sat in the almost empty parking lot of Blaine's old school – Dalton Academy. Insisting upon driving, they took Finn's car and made a detour here. They've been sitting in the car for about ten minutes.

"I'm an alumnus, and the Warblers should be practicing, so there are people in the school, technically."

Before getting the go-ahead, Blaine opened his door and ran towards the elegant, double-door entrance. Kurt watched his fuzzy figure become smaller and smaller from his warm seat. Blaine forced a wooden door open. Turning, he waved for Kurt to follow.

Sighing, he followed, the rain smacking against him. Rushing past Blaine, Kurt shook off the droplets on his coat inside; water splashed everywhere. Blaine grinned, thinking that Kurt looked like an uncomfortable, wet cat.

Fingering through his hair, Kurt glanced around. Dalton was like no other school he'd ever seen. It looked like a museum with the painted walls, crystal chandlers, and marble floors. It suited its pupils though. Dalton graduated scholars, not just students. Most of Blaine's friends went to Ivy League schools.

"It looks the same," Kurt said absentmindedly, looking at his own reflection in the floor.

Blaine's soppy seats approached him. He took Kurt's gaze, and his eyes were confused.

"I don't remember taking you here," he said lightly.

Kurt stifled a laugh. "You didn't," he assured. "I spied on the Warblers one day for New Directions."

"Seriously?" Blaine laughed.

Kurt nodded. "I wandered around the school, following groups of people, until I realized I was in a mob of kids going to see the Warblers," Kurt told. "I just followed. You guys were singing some Kelly Clarkson* song. I don't know if you remember that."

Blaine bit back a smile. "I remember, yeah. That was my solo."

Kurt's mouth fell agape. Racking his brain, he tried to remember that day. Blending with the crowd, he only caught glimpses of the Warblers.

Wait, he remembered.

"Oh my God," Kurt mumbled, seeing a fresh-faced Blaine flash through his mind.

"It was my first solo," Blaine said self-consciously, playing with the buttons of his coat.

Kurt blushed. He remembered his seventeen-year-old self thinking, _that soloist is gorgeous. Make eye contact with me. Make eye contact with me!_ Kurt remembered his knees going weak as the seventeen-year-old version of Blaine caught his gaze, smiling wider as he continued to sing.

"You saw me!" Kurt said suddenly. "We made eye contact." Blaine made a _how-do-you-even-remember-that_? face. "I just remember; I don't know how. It's weird."

"I guess we met before we met," Blaine noted.

"It's like we were supposed to meet," Kurt uttered. There was a warmth in his stomach that rose through him, making the feeling of cold rain disappear for a second.

Blaine elbowed Kurt gently. "I don't believe in fate, but yeah, we were supposed to, I think."

Smiling to himself, Kurt started to walk down the empty hallway. His feet echoed. Blaine followed closely. Kurt wanted to stay here as long as possible. He wanted to freeze this moment. Outside of Dalton, only bad things waited.

"What time are your parents expecting you?" Kurt questioned.

"They aren't," Blaine stated.

Kurt raised his eyebrows. "You didn't tell them you were stopping by, that you're in Ohio?"

Blaine shook his head. "I'm only going home to see Chad. I kind of hope my parents aren't home."

They approached a huge spiral staircase. Rain tapped against the window overhead, and it cast a gloomy color on the room. Kurt sat on the first step and patted the space next to him for Blaine to sit.

"My dad was thrilled Eddie left me," Blaine said, and Kurt saw him flinch. "Being gay is bad. Acting on it is worse. When I told him I was getting married, he almost disowned me."

Kurt placed his hand on Blaine's knee, rubbing his thumb down, soothingly.

Blaine continued, "If his plan was for me to be unhappy, it worked."

"I promise, this'll pass, Blaine, and you can show your father that he can't dictate your life. Being unhappy is a choice and so is being happy," Kurt assured gently.

Blaine placed his hand on Kurt's. Their eyes locked. Similar to the first time their eyes met, seven years ago, Kurt's insides spun.

Before further investigation of the feeling, sound filled the quiet around them. Blaine, smiling, picked himself up.

Grabbing Kurt's hand, he said, "Come on. I know a shortcut."

Practically running, Blaine pulled Kurt down another empty hall. The music got louder. The two paused at a set of doors that were cracked open. Inside, the Warblers were practicing.

Blaine smiled, eyes practically glowing. Kurt watched him.

"Do you miss this?" he whispered.

Blaine nodded sadly. "Things were so simple back then."

Kurt disagreed. High school was awful. Once he got to college, he was more understood, and now in the real world, he was gaining respect. There was an innocence he missed about being a teenager though.

Kurt pressed on the doors until they snapped shut. Blaine bore a stare into him.

"We should go," Kurt said, backing away from Blaine. Stalling wouldn't actually help. Blaine needed to face this, Kurt realized. Blaine frowned but nodded, following.

Kurt expected the ride to Blaine's old home to be quiet, where they'd both be consumed in thought. Blaine shut off the music, and Kurt caught him smiling.

"So, about you spying…"

Kurt grinned and went into detail about the experience.

Blaine had a huge house – yellow brick against large black framed windows. The front lawn was green and the gardeners obviously planted flowers recently because they wrapped around the front. The inside looked warm and inviting, which was a lie.

Blaine seemed to slow down as the car approached, avoiding the inevitable. He put the car into Park. Kurt mentally wished for the best as he pushed out into the rain. Blaine didn't follow. Kurt ran around the car, ripping Blaine's door open.

"Come on!" he yelled over the rain.

In a moment, both boys charged to the door. There was no porch, so they rang the bell and stood there. Kurt could see a figure approaching through the warped glass of the door. When it opened, he realized it was Blaine's father.

His fingers gripped the door tighter, and for a millisecond, the door twitched as if he was about to shut it.

"Blaine?" his father said.

Blaine muttered a hello before charging inside. Kurt eased his way past the man who's eyes were fixed on his son.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, sounding less than thrilled.

"Kurt and I were in Ohio. I thought I'd stop by," Blaine said as if walking on egg shells.

"Honey, who was at the door?" a sweet voice called from the next room. Blaine's mother came trotting into the hall holding a basket of clothes. She smiled widely at her son. "Blaine, sweetheart, what are you doing here?"

Blaine took the basket, placing it on the stairs and kissed his mom.

"They were in Ohio," his father said rigidly.

"Oh, I am so glad you visited," his mom said, unzipping his coat. "You're soaked. I didn't realize it was raining so hard. Why don't you two go change?"

She kissed Blaine again and then moved over and kissed Kurt as well. Kurt remembered suddenly that he actually _did_like Blaine's mom.

"There's a box of your old clothes as soon as you walk into the attic," his mom called after them as they jumped up the steps.

They passed a few rooms. Blaine peered into Chad's unoccupied room, huffing unhappily. He also stopped at his old room, rolling his eyes. They had transformed into a guest room, and it didn't look like Blaine's room at all. Kurt got all of this from one quick look around. Then they were at the attic.

"I'm surprised they didn't burn these," Blaine said, pulling the box of his old clothes out.

Kurt followed him as they walked back to Blaine's old room. He opened the box as soon as he set it on the bed.

"Take whatever you want."

Kurt peered in only seeing red and blue. He smiled. "This was when you were still going through your Dalton color days, huh?"

As Blaine replaced his wet shirt with a dry one, he laughed. Kurt dug through the box, looking for an appropriate outfit, specifically longer pants so he wasn't a walking fashion violation. Blaine rapidly finished changing.

"Okay, I'll be back. I'll fight with him now to get it over with," Blaine said regrettably, his hand sliding across Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt swapped clothes and after a few minutes, decided to head downstairs. As he approached the steps, he heard Blaine's voice rise.

"What? Do you want me to apologize for visiting?" Blaine asked harshly.

"No, but I don't appreciate you spending our money to jet around pointlessly with that boy," Blaine dad retorted.

"That boy's name is Kurt, which you know, and it's not your money I used. I do have a job! Besides, this trip isn't pointless. Kurt had to tell his parents…some…stuff."

"Stuff? What stuff?" his mom asked, worry in her voice.

"Nothing bad," Blaine replied, his voice softer. "He's just- he's getting married."

Blaine's dad laughed in a laugh that wasn't in a tone to follow something humorous.

"You people never learn."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Blaine spat.

"I mean, there's a reason you people shouldn't be able to marry. Didn't he learn anything from you and your sham of a marriage?"

Fire was igniting in Kurt's stomach. He didn't care if Blaine's father bashed his wedding, but to talk so bleakly about Blaine's wedding was pushing it.

Blaine's dad continued, "Unless… Are _you_ marrying him, Blaine?"

"No!" Blaine said immediately. "I'm not marrying Kurt."

"Good. It was a mistake for you to get married in the first place, Blaine."

Blaine made a frustrated sound. "See, I know better than to think those are your words of encouragement. You're just saying that because to you, gays' getting married is an abomination. I'm going upstairs. Once Chad gets home, and I say hello, we're leaving."

Kurt heard Blaine stomp towards the steps. Panicked, he booked it back to the room. Sitting on the bed as casually as possible, Kurt tried to pretend he hadn't heard anything. Blaine charged into the room. He pushed the box of clothes to the floor and sat next to Kurt, breathing deeply.

"That bad?" Kurt questioned, rubbing Blaine's back.

Blaine's face was colored with rage. "Worse."

"How long till your brother's home, you think?"

"An hour? He has baseball after school."

"Come here," Kurt mumbled, pulling himself and Blaine into the middle of the bed, lying down. He pushed Blaine's head onto his chest, wrapping his arms around Blaine's shoulders, fingers playing with the curls on his friend's head. Blaine held Kurt's waist close.

"I just wish he would accept me. I'm just a burden, taking their money, and existing in a way he doesn't approve. If I could choose to be happy, I'd choose right now," Blaine admitted.

A pain in Kurt's chest curled. If Blaine wasn't happy now, he wouldn't be happy for a long time. He wanted to make him happy, even for a little while. He wanted to stop everything and give Blaine that.

"Go to sleep, Blaine," Kurt whispered, touching his friend's face. Blaine sunk into the touch before sinking back into Kurt's chest.

Sleeping, he couldn't think of his dad or Eddie or how life hadn't been simple since leaving Dalton. When he slept, everything went away.

"I'm not tired," Blaine said, breathing out a single laugh.

Well, there goes that plan.

"Blaine, Eddie's back," Kurt just spilled.

Blaine's grip around Kurt tightened.

"Yeah, let's go to sleep," Blaine replied, dread in his voice.

Kurt pursed his lips, holding Blaine, letting his arms tell him he wasn't letting him go, that he wouldn't let him face this alone. Tears seeped through Kurt's shirt.

His heart throbbed as if his was breaking instead of Blaine's. It was.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> *Katy Perry song was substituted by Kelly Clarkson song because Blaine and Kurt were juniors in 2005, and Katy wasn't popular yet =)


	13. The wrong two boys to love

**Author's Note: **Sorry this is a day late… It's a lot longer than I originally planned because I added a few scenes. =) This jumps around a lot. Oops. I just get tired of writing the same scene so I switch and come back.

* * *

><p><em>Why don't you remember the reason you loved me before?<em>

_Baby, please remember me once more._

_-Adele_

_xo_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirteen<strong>

"The wrong two boys to love."

_April__– Junior Year_

The sky smelled like rain. And although the humidity did no favors for his hair, Kurt liked the smell of rain. Instead of watching the people shuffle past him, he shut his eyes and smelled the scent.

He opened his eyes when he felt like he was alone. He was. It was just him, the wet pavement, and the bright, white moon.

"Hey, you."

And Blaine.

Looking at the moon, he answered, "I told you not to come."

Kurt felt Blaine trying to sneak something into his hand, so he gripped at it. Pulling the gift to his face, Kurt blinked down at a small bouquet of orange lilies.

"Why'd you buy me flowers?" Kurt questioned, his stomach bubbling.

"Your designs are in your first ever fashion show – you asked everyone not to come, so, I bought your favorite flowers and showed up anyway," Blaine said playfully.

Kurt alternated between smelling the rain and the flowers, and although the show had gone horribly (the other collections were plain, and the one model knocked over a light, smashing the bulb, sprinkling glass at the audience), Blaine coming after all made his night better.

They started to walk down the street. Kurt took a bunch of mental pictures of the flowers then looked over at Blaine.

"Can I do it?" Kurt asked softly, holding the flowers tighter.

Blaine grinned. "That's why I bought them."

Smiling widely, Kurt undid the ribbon holding the flowers and pulled the crinkly paper off the stems. He handing them both to Blaine, who threw away the paper and shoved the ribbon into his pocket. Blaine watched as a duo of girls approached, chatting with each other. Kurt plucked two flowers from the bouquet and thrust them towards the girls. Looking apprehensive, they took the lilies. Kurt's eyes reassured them this was just a kind gesture, so they smiled and trotted off.

Blaine couldn't help but laugh. He remembered the time Alek bought Kurt flowers, and as soon as he left, he made Blaine take a walk. Immediately, Kurt started to hand out the flowers to strangers. A confused Blaine asked, "What are you doing?" and Blaine remembers Kurt's answer being: "Flowers are pretty to look at, but I hate just sitting them in a vase, waiting for them to die. I like giving them to other people. Maybe I could make someone's crappy day better."

Kurt handed another to an old woman who took it in exchange for a quick kiss that Kurt allowed Blaine to receive.

"Maybe I should have kept these," Kurt admitted, feeling the petal of one. "These are like hate-flowers because I'm so disappointed in that show."

Blaine plucked one for the bouquet, passing it to a business man who thanked him. "Your stuff was great, Kurt. You out shined everyone else, and it wasn't your model that hit the audience with glass. People are gonna remember your clothes."

"No," Kurt started, giving a lily to a homeless man, perched on the steps of a business, "they'll remember the glass and ugly half-finished outfits. Trainwrecks are more memorable."

Kurt had one flower left. He stole back his orange ribbon and tied it back around the flower.

"Thanks for coming though. I really did want someone there, even if I said I didn't," Kurt revealed, pushing the flower at Blaine. "In case you were having a crappy day."

* * *

><p><em>62 Days Until Kurt's Wedding<em>

"Did Alek say where Eddie was?" Blaine asked, watching for his suitcase to empty onto the luggage pickup.

Kurt slide his phone shut in annoyance. "He won't answer my texts or calls, but before the plane ride, he said he'd be at your apartment."

Blaine launched forward and grabbed the handles of his and Kurt's bags. "Will you come with me?"

Starting to wheel his suitcase away, Kurt answered, "Of course. I wouldn't let you face him alone. I'm probably going to knock his teeth out though."

Blaine bit his lip, looking sideways at Kurt. He didn't know how he felt about Eddie anymore because he'd been so preoccupied with his new feelings for Kurt. Will seeing Eddie bring back his old feelings? Will he not care for Eddie anymore because of Kurt? Or will he have to balance both? His stomach hollowed and he felt sick, wishing he had an airsickness bag at his disposal.

Kurt noticed his friend's change in color. "Blaine, I won't leave unless you ask me to, okay? I won't like him hurt you."

Blaine was thankful for the friendship but discontent with the warm flutter filling his empty stomach.

* * *

><p><em>April – Junior Year<em>

"You do realize that there are hundreds of eateries in New York, and we go to the same two shops," Blaine claimed, waving the flower through the air like it was a conductor's stick.

"We hardly ever eat anywhere else besides the dining hall anyway," Kurt retorted.

"Well, I think we should take full advantage of living in New York," Blaine said. Thrusting his arms out, he continued, "Here's my plea: we eat, whenever we see fitting, at a different establishment in the city and never go back there again. By the time we're forty, both married, old and have like six kids each, we will have eaten at every single place in New York. How does that sound?"

"Expensive." Blaine batted Kurt with the orange lily. "But I like that idea. What about this place?"

They were two blocks from their dorm building and stood in front of _La Lanterna di Vittorio,_ a pizzeria and coffee shop. From the outside, it was small and uninviting, but on the inside, the boys realized as soon as they walked in, it was nice and pretty large. A waiter approached them immediately.

"Hello there," he said with a large smile. "Where would you like to be seated? There's the café area where you're standing, the bar in the back, or outside in the garden."

Blaine made quick eye contact with Kurt. They'd only eat here once; might as well go all out.

"The garden, please," Kurt answered.

The waiter led them to the back, pulled open the double glass doors, and allowed them to enter the garden. It wasn't actually a garden. It was a medium sized bricked room with vines crawling up, wrapping around the ceiling. Windows aligned the roof. The moon shined through the foggy, wet glass, but the room looked nice with the stringed lights and glowing candles at every table.

It'd be a great place to take a date. Too bad they weren't with their boyfriends.

"I'll get you two boys menus," the happy waiter said, almost skipping away.

Kurt sat down in his heavy metal outdoor chair, the cool metal making him shiver. Blaine stared at him, half-smiling, his hand fluttering over the candled, making the flame dance.

"On a scale, 1 to J. Alexander, how gay is our waiter?" Kurt asked, eyeing the door.

Before he had a chance to respond, the waiter, whose nametag read 'Joshua', was back.

"My name is Joshua, and I'll be taking care of you this evening," he started, and as he ranted off the specials, Blaine locked eyes with Kurt.

With a smug smile, Blaine's face read, _He's a ten. Definitely. Look, he's stripping you with his eyes!_

Kurt's face immediately shot up to Joshua, who was indeed throwing him some smoldering eyes. Kurt looked away uncomfortably.

"So, I'll give you time to decide," Joshua said, touching Kurt's arm softly with his notepad.

Kurt leaned forward, emphasizing every syllable. "Oh. My. GOD!"

"He's cute," Blaine hummed, eyes scanning the menu.

Kurt rolled his eyes and buried his face away in his menu. When Joshua approached, he abruptly asked for Kurt's drink order, as if he was about to dehydrate.

Panicking, Kurt reached across the table, grasping Blaine's hand. With dreamy eyes, he said, "We'll have waters, please."

Trying to remain happy, Joshua stalked away.

"I wanted a Pepsi," Blaine said, looking defeated.

* * *

><p><em>62 Days Until Kurt's Wedding<em>

The taxi pulled up to Blaine's apartment.

"I can't do this," Blaine confessed, gripping Kurt's upper arm.

"The meter is running," Kurt said intensely, forcing himself away from Blaine. Pulling their bags from the trunk and paying the driver, Kurt had to pull Blaine out of the taxi. "Listen, it'll be okay. It'll be fine."

"No, it won't," Blaine muttered monotone.

Kurt took Blaine's hand. "I'll be there. Even if you want me to do all the talking, I will help you. This will work out. Just promise me one thing though."

"What?"

"When I was a teenager, when my dad gave me that awful sex talk, he said one thing to me that I still remember. It was, '_Don't throw yourself around like you don't matter.'_ I want you to promise me you'll remember that because Eddie's going to try to pull you back in. He's going to use years and years of practice to make you forgive him, like he's done numerous times in the past. Don't forgive him. He doesn't deserve your forgiveness. He deserves a good knock in the face," Kurt added the last part under his breath. "I want you, more than anyone else, to be happy. The only way you can be happy is if you move on."

Kurt was holding Blaine's face. All Blaine wanted to do was tell him he did, tell Kurt he had moved on, but he wasn't happy. He was constantly aching because he wanted his best friend to love him, to be in love with him, but he could never ask Kurt for that.

Blaine nodded solemnly.

* * *

><p><em>April<em>_– Junior Year_

The two walked those two blocks back to their dorm building.

"Are you feeling better?" Blaine asked, stepping over a puddle.

Kurt smiled. "Much better, actually."

"Here," Blaine started, handing Kurt the flower. "I've been happy all night. I have no need for this anymore."

Kurt snatched it as they entered the building. He gave the lily to the R.A. on-call and the two walked towards their hall.

There were people at their door when they turned the corner. With every step, the two realized that people in the distance were two very specific people.

"Where have you been? I waited for you after your show!" Alek exclaimed, jumping to his feet.

"We had a date, Blaine. We lost our reservations!" Eddie cried, getting to his feet.

Both wanted to turn around and leave.

And although they felt guilty, both realized how much simpler it was without their boyfriends.

* * *

><p><em>62 Days Until Kurt's Wedding<em>

Blaine stopped walking when he got to his corner. He saw him.

"Kurt."

Blaine thought it was his voice calling out to his friend, but it wasn't. He couldn't move, let alone speak. Down the hallway, there were two boys perched at Blaine's door. One was Eddie. The other was Alek, who was now pacing towards Blaine and Kurt.

"Kurt," Alek said again, reaching them. He took his boyfriend's hand. "Let's go."

Kurt pulled his hand away hastily. "No, I'm staying with Blaine."

"Kurt, no, you have to let them handle this," Alek whispered, talking right into Kurt's face.

"Blaine needs me. I'm not just going to sit around and let _him_," Kurt's eyes darted at the approaching Eddie darkly, "hurt my best friend again. I may be small, but I used to play football in high school, and maybe I didn't tackle anyone, but I've seen my teammates do it enough times to know how!"

Alek was holding Kurt back because Eddie was dangerously close.

"Blaine, tell Kurt to go," Eddie said, staring indifferently at his ex-fiancé.

Blaine gulped. Without looking at Kurt, he said, "You don't have to stay, Kurt."

Eddie and Alek nodded to each other as Blaine marched passed Eddie.

As Alek forced Kurt away, he wanted to yell, YOU PROMISED!, at Blaine, but Blaine caught his eye from around the corner.

_Stay close_, his hazel eyes called out. Kurt couldn't reply; they were already too far apart.

Unlocking his door, Blaine pushed inside.

"You changed the locks," Eddie said straightforwardly.

"You kept your key," Blaine replied unemotionally.

"Blaine, if we could just talk like two adults-"

"Why'd you come back?" Blaine insisted at once, glaring at Eddie.

Eddie sighed. "I felt bad."

"BAD?" Blaine yelled. "You felt bad? I felt like you ripped my heart out of my chest, took it with you, and threw it off the Empire State Building! Do you understand how humiliated, how heartbroken I was when you didn't show up? Even shooting me a text would have been considerate."

"Blaine…" Eddie mumbled, reaching for Blaine's hands.

"No! No, you're not allowed to touch me!" Blaine cried, backing away. "I want you to leave. I have nothing to say to you! You made your choice, and I'm not forgiving you for it."

"Please. You're happy I didn't marry you. I was doing you a favor," Eddie spat angrily.

Mouth gaping open, Blaine chocked out, "Are you insa-"

"I wanted to get out before it was too late," Eddie admitted. "Leaving you broke my heart, Blaine."

"I don't understand," Blaine muttered, confused.

"Answer me one question. I know you think I don't deserve it, or whatever, but I'm going to explain everything to you, so answer just this one thing for me," Eddie begged.

"What?" Blaine urged.

"Do you love Kurt now?"

Again, his mouth fell open. "I-_what?_"

"Do you love him now because I'm not there tying you down?"

"Eddie-"

"Tell the truth! You're in love with him, aren't you?" Eddie yelled, tears rimming his eyes.

"I-"

"I had to leave you because I didn't want to be around when you realized how much you loved him."

"I don't-"

"Don't lie, Blaine! You think I'm the bad guy, and damn, I may be, but at least I'm honest. I was talking to Alek. _They're getting married._How dare you do that to Alek?"

"Eddie, I-" Blaine spluttered, unable to finish a sentence.

"You have to tell Kurt. You have to tell him so he doesn't marry Alek," Eddie pleaded, shaking.

"He loves Alek. He doesn't love m-"

"Blaine, he's loved you since move in day, Freshman year! I've had to watch you two fall in love, six doors down. I've had to watch you settle for me numerous times because you were too afraid to be with Kurt or Kurt started dating Alek to get over you. I'm not blind, but I stupidly thought that somehow I'd be enough. Answer my question, Blaine. Do you love him now? Did you let yourself be in love with him because he's getting married and you're going to lose all chances of being with him?"

Blaine wanted to run. He wanted to fall to the floor. He wanted to do anything other than admit to Eddie was right because Eddie was always the bad guy in this story, but now…

"Yes."

Eddie sucked in a shaky breath. "Tell him."

"I ca-can't. I want him to be happy. Obviously Alek makes him happy."

"Because he's going to marry Alek? You were going to marry me and yet you still loved Kurt."

Blaine whispered, "I didn't realize…"

"You know, it wasn't a rash decision – leaving you," Eddie said, more confidence in his voice. "I was thinking about it since New Years." Blaine heart thumped harshly in his chest. "Did you ever wonder where I went?"

Blaine thought really hard for a moment. He was looking for Eddie right before the lights went out, right before he kissed Kurt. Where _did_he go?

Eddie finally gave an answer. "Let me paint you a picture. I walk across the party, see my boyfriend with his tongue down someone else's throat. You must image how upset I am; that is until I realize it's Kurt, the boy you're in love with, the one I'm always competing with. Pissed, I run upstairs and lock myself in someone's room. I cry for like an hour.

Midnight comes and there's a commotion downstairs, and as it dies down, there's a rattling at the door. Scared, I launch myself into the closet. Little did I know, when the door opens, the moonlight hits the back of a very familiar body, familiar hands, familiar everything. I didn't want to believe it's you two, but I know it is. Horrified, I'm about to pop out, when you two start talking:

'You're drunk," you say.

And Kurt replies, 'I know,' and you're kissing and feeling each other up. I thought I was going to die.

You say some more stuff, but eventually confront Kurt.

'I'm not Alek,' you say.

And Kurt replies, all hungry for more, he says, 'I know, Blaine,' and you two attack each other's faces."

Breathless, Blaine muttered, "You saw. You were there?"

"I waited. I just wanted you to be honest with me. Kurt'll forget because he always forgets when he's drunk off his ass, but I didn't expect you to cheat, have him cheat too, and not say anything, act as if it didn't even happen. I thought you were better than that."

"It was a mistake…"

"No, it wasn't!" Eddie yelled. "Then you had the nerve to sneak off with him the day before our wedding. At that point, when I even brought up New Years, gave you an opportunity to come clean, you said nothing, that I was overrating when I had solid proof that Kurt wasn't just your _best friend_._"_

"Eddie-"

"I'm sorry I left you, Blaine, and you don't deserve my apologies, but I'm still giving you them. I love you. I still love you, and there will always be a part of me that'll always love you. But you can't do this. You have to give Kurt the chance to think about marrying Alek. Alek doesn't deserve what's going to happen to him."

"What's that?"

Eddie took a step forward, forcing Blaine to keep eye contact. "Kurt's going to break his heart."

Eddie backed away. Down casting his eyes, he turned towards the door. Just when Blaine thought they were finished, Eddie stopped.

"Alek and I aren't getting in the way of you and Kurt, Blaine. Alek and I just chose the wrong two boys to love."

He stepped forward walking almost out of the door. Desperately, Blaine reached towards him, moving his shaky legs.

"Eddie…"

"What, Blaine?" he turned, tears finally falling from his eyes.

"If you haven't have left, if you married me, I would have continued to love you. I never settled with you, Eddie. I was completely in love with you."

Sniffling, Eddie approached Blaine. Blaine allowed him to touch his face. Kurt's words rang through his head,_Don't throw yourself around like you don't matter_. Blaine could be happy with Eddie, now that he knew the reasons for Eddie's constant break-ups, constant leavings. Eddie was just scared of getting hurt in the long run but came back because he loved Blaine, because he hoped he'd be enough. If there wasn't that invisible sting always binding him to Kurt, he could be with Eddie and Kurt could be with Alek. There'd be no complications.

But as Eddie leaned in, his warm, sweet breath against Blaine's lips, his heart ached – and not a quick sting, but a throbbing pain, like it was physically breaking. That invisible string was pulling him away, tugging him towards Kurt. He didn't have this pull with Eddie.

"I can't…" Blaine whispered.

Eddie pulled away, his lips pursed, nodding knowingly. "Yeah, you may have loved me, but you don't love me the way you love Kurt. You can't kiss me because of him." Eddie took his hand nevertheless. "Tell him."

His pressed a kiss to Blaine's forehead. "If you don't, I will."

Before registering his words, Eddie was out the door. Panicked, his insides fusing together, Blaine slipped to the floor. Aimlessly moving his hands until the one found the inside of his pocket, Blaine grasped his cell phone.

He sent one text.

**I need you, Kurt.**

And then he went numb.


	14. Not supposed to make me feel like this

**Author's Note:** 18 new reviews, 13 new faves, and 21 new alerts, can I love each one of you, oh wait, I already do! =) Watch the times with this chapter. It starts with a flashback!

* * *

><p><em>If it's gonna be a rainy day, <em>

_There's nothing we can do to make it change. _

_We can pray for sunny weather, _

_But that won't stop the rain._

_-James Morrison_

_xo_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fourteen<strong>

_You're not supposed to make me __feel like this._

53 Days Until Kurt's Wedding – 12:03 AM

_You're not supposed to make me__feel like this,_ Blaine's eyes read. Kurt stared at him, unblinking, his mouth slightly ajar. Blaine tore his eyes away. Did he realize he'd just sent Kurt one of their infamous silent messages?

'You're not supposed to make me feel like this.' What did that even mean? What was Blaine feeling?

"Blaine…" Kurt whispered, placing a gentle hand on Blaine's arm.

There was a rattle at the door and then a loud bang.

"What are you doing up here?"

Oh no.

* * *

><p>54 Days Until Kurt's Wedding – 9:19 PM<p>

Kurt was checking his and Alek's Wedding Registry for the sixth time that day. Leaning against the kitchen table over his laptop, he shot a look over at Alek, who was washing the dishes.

"I was thinking of heading out with Blaine tonight," Kurt spoke, his fingers grazing of the keys. "I still want to know what he and Eddie talked about."

"You're positive he didn't get back with him?" Alek asked, scrubbing down a bowl.

"As positive as I am that someone bought those toasting flutes from our registry," he answered, peering at the screen. "I've been keeping tabs on Blaine. He hasn't done anything out of the ordinary."

As Alek rinsed his hands, he added, "Except not tell you what Eddie said."

"He said he needs time to process it. I just don't think he's ready to face the facts. I'll never stop feeling bad for him."

"I feel bad for Eddie too," Alek said warily.

"He shouldn't have left Blaine," Kurt said plainly, shrugging. "What did he say to you while you were waiting that you're all sympathetic to him now?"

Alek stacked the plates. "We just talked about our wedding. He was really interested once I told him. He did say one thing that leads me to be sympathetic though."

"And what's that?" Kurt questioned.

"He told me to be careful – not good luck or anything. It was like a warning. Maybe he had a reason to leave."

"And you think that's what they talked about?"

Alek perched at Kurt's side, staring at the computer screen. "I do and that Blaine hasn't come to terms with what he's done."

Kurt rested his head in his hands, thinking. "What did he do to get left at the altar?"

Alek shrugged. "Something really bad."

Kurt thought about this when he texted Blaine to hang out, when he got in a taxi to take him to Blaine's apartment on the outskirts of the city, and when he was knocking on Blaine's door.

As soon as it opened, Kurt demanded, "Come on. We're going out."

Blaine leaned against the door frame looking apprehensive. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see. I have a taxi waiting," Kurt said frantically, pushing Blaine back into his apartment.

Rushing back to their cab after Blaine locked his door, they jumped into the car, and Kurt leaned towards the driver, saying, "33 Washington Square West, please," and then he leaned back, grinning.

Blaine took a second to think about the address. "Isn't that our old dorm address?"

Kurt bounced happily. "Yup! We are going back to Hayden."

"Why?" Blaine asked, amused.

"You will see!" Kurt retorted, sternly but playfully.

Blaine leaned his head against the cold glass and stared into the city lights. Sighing, he knew what this was. Kurt wanted to get him alone so he could talk about Eddie. Blaine realized he couldn't keep stalling. He had to tell Kurt.

Blaine tried to be unselfish. He wanted for Kurt to be happy, but what Eddie said to him flooded his thoughts all too often. Did Kurt once have feelings for him? Did he _still_ have feelings for him? And if so, how strong were they? Were they strong enough to stop himself from marrying Alek? Oh, Blaine wanted that answer so badly but thinking of it only make him hurt. Thinking about Kurt at all made him hurt.

Kurt was watching Blaine out of the corner of his eye. His insides were melting into a puddle. He wished his friend would stop hurting. A sudden thought flashed across his brain though. Did Blaine do something to deserve this pain? If so, what had he done?

Abruptly, both boys caught each other's eye. Both of their hearts leapt, and they looked away. There were so many unanswered questions lingering between them.

The cab pulled up to Hayden Hall. Kurt pressed money into the driver's hand and exited the car. They looked up at their old dorm and a rush of memories washed over them – endless nights dedicated to cramming for tests, chugging down cups and cups of coffee just finish one more page on their overdue papers, long nights just talking about nothing – so many memories they'd never trade in.

Waiting until the appropriate moment, Kurt and Blaine snuck behind a small group of students rushing into the doors. Without their keys, they wouldn't have access to the dorm, but if they tailgated, which was a normal occurrence during their college days, they'd get in just fine. Walking past the R.A. on-call, they snuck up a flight of steps to take the elevator away from the eyes of security.

Thankfully, they rode to the top alone, the machine _ding_ing on the last floor. They knew the route by heart. Soon, they opened the exit door with a loud gust of wind to welcome them.

They always took a moment to look over the city below. It was always breathtaking and the view never got old.

"One of the main things I miss about college," Blaine admitted, his eyes glittering for the reflecting lights.

Kurt was already unfolding the blanket, snapping it through the air to spread across the roof. He sat down and Blaine followed.

Kurt leaned back. Blaine did the same, their shoulders touching. Kurt looked sideways. Blaine mirrored him. Looking into Blaine's face, Kurt knew he couldn't lie to him.

"I was going to tell you there was a meteor shower, and that's why I brought you here, but I can't," Kurt said suddenly, his stomach feeling heavy.

"What's the real reason then?" Blaine questioned carefully.

"Blaine," Kurt starting, shooting up then peering down at his friend, "tell me what happened with Eddie."

Blaine crossed his arms, looking to the sky. "He just told me some stuff. Why do you need to know?"

Kurt pulled Blaine's hand loose. "So I can help you."

Blaine grabbed his hand away. "There's nothing to help me with."

Kurt made a frustrated moan. "You haven't been the same since the wedding, and since Eddie visited, you've been tiptoeing around me. What are you hiding?"

Kurt bit down on his lip, hard. It wasn't supposed to spill out that way, but he'd been thinking about what Eddie and Blaine talked about constantly. It just kind of happened. Blaine shifted uncomfortable.

"I-" Blaine muttered.

He could say one of two things: 1.) We kissed on New Year's, or 2.) I'm in love with you.

What did Eddie want him to say? Did he want Blaine to confess that New Year's happened and was the reason they weren't married now? Or did he want Blaine to confess his feelings so Kurt knew, so Kurt could really think about marrying Alek? Eddie never made it clear. Blaine didn't know which confession was worse. Both would ruin everything though.

Blaine picked himself up.

Kurt mumbled, "It's me, Blaine. You can tell me anything."

Blaine's heart sunk deeply into his chest and his mind had one thought: _You're not supposed to make me feel like this._

Realizing his eyes were fixed on Kurt's, he pulled them away.

_I'm not supposed to love you, Kurt._ Blaine thought sadly.

"Blaine…" Kurt whispered, placing a gentle hand on Blaine's arm.

As his insides combusted, there was a rattle at the door that shook them into reality. Then there was a bang and loud footsteps.

"What are you doing up here?"an unfamiliar voice bellowed.

Looking up, Kurt and Blaine recognized campus security.

The two were escorted out of the building. On the street, Kurt tried to hail a cab as Blaine paced next to him.

"I can't believe we got caught!" Blaine confessed, bewildered.

Kurt wanted to laugh, but what happened before security came threw him off. What was Blaine thinking? Had he misread Blaine's eyes? They've been having silent conversations for years, but of all the other messages, this one was the loudest. It couldn't be wrong.

Once they got into the cab, Kurt turned to Blaine. "Come back to my apartment?"

Throwing him a questioning look, he answered, "Why?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Blaine…"

Blaine slumped into his seat, shutting his eyes. "Kurt, I can't…"

He touched Blaine's hand, and Blaine's eyes zipped open. "I won't judge you or think any less of you."

Blaine shut his eyes again and gripped Kurt's hand. They rode home in silence. The silence lingered until they were at Kurt's apartment door.

"Alek should be awake, studying or doing something productive. I'll make up the couch for you, and when he goes to sleep, we can talk."

Blaine nodded understandingly. Only a little while until their friendship would be wrecked.

What Blaine didn't realize was that a little while was much sooner than he imagined. On the other side of the door was Eddie.

Kurt was shocked. His face raced with that emotion and Blaine immediately reached to hold him back. He'd snap or attack or do something violent.

Trying to push Blaine away, Kurt spat, "Where's Alek?"

Eddie pushed himself off the couch. "He's asleep."

"What are you doing here? I'm not Alek; you're not allowed in my apartment," Kurt grunted, face screwed up in rage.

"I came to talk to you, Kurt," he answered simply, looking over at Blaine as well.

"I don't want to talk to you."

Maybe Blaine did something to end their almost-marriage but Kurt would have a hard time gaining back respect for Eddie.

Eddie held up his hands defenselessly. He weaved his way along Kurt until he reached Blaine's side.

"Did you talk to him?" Eddie asked softly. Kurt heard, obviously; he was right next to the pair.

"I was going to," Blaine stated, "tonight."

Eddie nodded thoughtfully. "Well, that's why I came."

As Eddie started to leave, Blaine pulled away from Kurt and grabbed at Eddie's hand.

Speaking in the softest whisper he could muster, Blaine asked, "What am I telling him, Eddie?"

"New Year's."

Eddie pulled away. He tried to give Blaine a reassuring smile but just couldn't. So, he left.

Kurt somehow found his way next to Blaine and placed his head on Blaine's shoulder. A fluttering in his stomach told Blaine how right this felt, but the pang in his heart told him how wrong it was. He remained still though because this might possibly be the last time they'd have this kind of relationship.

"Do you remember anything about New Years?"

Kurt picked his head up. "No, you know I black out whenever I get drunk."

Blaine looked into Kurt's eyes, begging him to remember. "What's the last thing you remember?"

Kurt racked his brain, pulling himself down onto the couch. Blaine sat on the coffee table in front of him, grasping his hands.

Kurt laughed. "I was talking to these two girls, bragging that I could tie cherry stems with only my tongue."

"Then…"

Kurt shook his head. "I drank one too many drinks and can't remember the rest."

"Nothing?"

_Please remember_, Blaine's eyes pleaded. Kurt, again, questioned if Blaine meant to send this message.

"I can't," Kurt said, looking away. "What's going on? What happened that you're not telling me?"

Blaine sucked in a rickety breath and stood up. "I'm going to tell you what happened the rest of your night, okay?"

"Why are you telling me this now? If it's so important, why didn't you tell me then?" Kurt fought, feeling slightly defensive.

"It wasn't important, not until recently."

Blaine sat next to Kurt. Without looking, he began, "I kept losing you. Every time I'd try to find you and did, you'd slip away. The one time you slipped away, you caught Alek and Eddie taking harmless shots from each other. Jealous, you did your own body shots – off me."

Kurt's mouth drew open. Guilt flooded his eyes. "Did…did Eddie catch us? Is this why he left?"

If Blaine said yes, ended the story there, he'd have found a loophole. But looking into Kurt's eyes, to live in that guilt would kill him. Blaine couldn't do that to his best friend.

"Yes and no. You dropped the lime into my mouth and had your lips pressed to mine, trying to retrieve it when Eddie saw. So, ultimately, he thought we were kissing. He stormed off. I tried to find him the rest of the night but couldn't, and I thought I looked everywhere, but I missed this one specific place."

Blaine sighed and continued, "The night was winding down. I lost Eddie. You lost Alek. And the countdown to midnight started, and we found each other. You don't remember any of this?"

Kurt shook his head, blankly.

"Kurt, don't- what happened next… It's not- This isn't your fault," Blaine insisted. "Right as the lights clicked off, I felt hands on my shoulders. I turned, thinking it was Eddie. Then there were lips on mine, and I was kissing this stranger, but…he wasn't a stranger."

Kurt slapped a hand over his mouth, eyes sparkled with tears. "I kissed you?"

"It was a midnight kiss," Blaine said, trying to make it sound like nothing.

"Is that all?"

Blaine could have stopped, ended the story, but again, he felt like Kurt deserved the truth – the entire truth.

"No," Blaine whispered, looking for a brief second at Kurt. He looked empty. "No, Kurt, that's not all. We were kissing, and it…it got more intense, like neither of us wanted to stop. So, we didn't. I lead you up the steps, and we found an empty room."

"Did I sleep with you?" Kurt said, his voice barely there.

"No, but we were together all night. And we weren't alone. Eddie was in the closet in that room. That's why he left me. At the rehearsal dinner, when I left with you, that made up his mind."

Tears slipping down his face, Kurt sobbed, "I'm so sorry, Blaine."

Blaine went to grab Kurt's hand but decided against it. There were boundaries forming between them.

"It's not your fault."

"Did you tell Eddie it wasn't real, that I probably didn't even realize I was kissing you?"

Blaine swallowed a lump in his throat. "We knew we were kissing each other," he muttered finally.

"H-how?"

"I said, 'I'm not Alek,' and you replied, 'I know, Blaine.' We knew who we were kissing."

Kurt finally looked at Blaine. Catching his eye for a moment, Kurt went numb.

'You're not supposed to make me feel like this.'

Kurt knew what Blaine was feeling. He saw it in his eyes.

Blaine loved him.

Kurt choked back a sob.

Blaine loved him.

Somewhere in this mess, Blaine had fallen in love with Kurt.

_Oh my God_, Kurt thought desperately.


	15. You're a lot to lose

**Author's Note:** Woah woah woah, what did I write in that chapter that you guys liked so much? 25+ reviews for that chapter alone – that's more than I've ever gotten, ever! Ty =)

* * *

><p><em>If it's between love and losing, to never have know the feeling, <em>

_I'd still side with love, and if I end up lonely,_

_at least I will be there knowing I believe in love. _

_So, go on, go on and break my heart – I'll be okay._

_-Colbie Caillet_

_xo_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifteen<strong>

"You're a lot to lose."

_43 Days Until Kurt's Wedding_

Kurt flipped through a wedding magazine not really looking at anything other than the color layout of the page. His eyes wouldn't focus. Also, his eyes wouldn't look up. Every time he looked at Alek, he feared he'd spill out the truth. He subtly tried to not be distant, while keeping away from his fiancé.

_I CHEATED! I KISSED BLAINE! BLAINE IS IN LOVE WITH ME!__YOU SHOULD DUMP MY ASS RIGHT NOW!_ would be what he'd blurt, what his brain kept repeating.

Being around Alek was bad. However, he didn't even attempt to be around Blaine. Blaine seemed content with their space. Or maybe Blaine was guilty. The occasional _hello – how are you?_ texts weren't that descriptive.

At least Alek didn't bring Blaine up in casual conversation. The last time they talked about him was this exchange:

"So, why'd Eddie leave Blaine?" Alek asked.

"Eddie thought Blaine was cheating," Kurt gave him a half-truth.

"Oh, ouch!" Alek hissed. "Was he?"

"N-no, not really, not the way Eddie thought," he spluttered.

Then Kurt speedily changed the subject. Thankfully, Alek never asked who Blaine allegedly cheated with because Kurt would have had a hard time keeping up his composure and probably would have started shouting he was a cheat, and all that.

"You don't think Blaine's ready to date again, do you?" Alek asked out of the blue.

The name felt like taboo and Kurt, caught off guard, jerked the magazine into the air but caught it before it tumbled to the floor.

"Huh?" Kurt breathed.

"I'm just saying it's been almost half a year, and maybe he just needs some help moving on?" Alek explained.

Kurt bit his lip. "Um, yeah, I gue- I mean, it's a good ide- Yes."

Alek grinned. "I was talking to Dex, and his girlfriend's brother is coming up next week. Maybe we can set up a double date, or…"

"You mean them, Blaine, and that guy?" Kurt said as nonchalantly as possible.

"I meant us and them. Maybe Dex and Kendra, but I don't know how keen Kenni will be going on a group date with her little brother, so we can probably count them out," Alek clarified.

Kurt plastered his eyes to the magazine when he spoke, "Sure, I'll just send Blaine a text."

"No!" Alek ejected. "Don't tell him. Just tell him it's a night out with friends."

Kurt pulled his eyes up slowly. "Why would I do that?"

"Because," Alek started, leaning towards Kurt as if telling him a secret, "he probably hasn't admitted to himself he's ready to forget Eddie."

Kurt's stomach squirmed. That's one of the questions Kurt had: did Blaine still love Eddie or was he completely just in love with him?

"I don't know, Alek," Kurt said apprehensively.

"All I'm saying is, he doesn't have to hit it off with Spencer, Kendra's brother, but he should know there are other guys out there."

Kurt snapped his head up. Alek was right. There are other guys out there – other guys that weren't him. If Blaine had feeling for Eddie, Spencer could make them go away. Spencer could also make Blaine's feelings for Kurt go away. Kurt suddenly liked Spencer, Kendra's little brother, very much!

"I like the way you think," Kurt said, giving Alek a quick peck on the lips.

* * *

><p><em>35 Days Until Kurt's Wedding<em>

**6:39****PM**

Standing outside of a restaurant in the middle of Little Italy, Blaine slapped Kurt's shaky hands away from his cuffs.

"You look fine," Blaine reassured. "I don't even know why we had to go to some fancy restaurant. I would have been fine eating at a wing joint. Such a waste of a clean suit."

"Everyday is an excuse for fashion," Kurt spoke automatically, looking out into the street for stopping taxis.

"Who are we even waiting for?" Blaine asked Alek who seemed calmer than Kurt.

"Dex, his girlfriend Kendra, and her brother Spencer," Alek answered.

Kurt leaped. "Is that hi- them?"

A cab pulled to the curb. The door popped open and a tall, blond thing walked out. Kurt should have known. Kendra was a freakin' model; of course her gay little brother looked like he just walked out of a Hollister ad. Bright smile. Really blue eyes. Sweeping blonde hair. Kurt was swooning even.

When Blaine finally caught Kurt's eye, he gave him a _what-is-this?/what-are-you-up-to?_ stare.

"Spencer!" Alek yelped, reaching for his hand. Blaine continued to glare at Kurt. "This is my fiancé Kurt, and this is Blaine."

Kurt shook Spencer's hand, giving him cold eyes and gripping his hand tightly. When the blond took Blaine's hand, his eyes actually glittered – Kurt saw a sparkle light up Spencer's eyes.

_Abort mission! Abort this damn mission!_ Kurt's brain shouted, staring at the pair.

Alek clapped Spencer on the back, leading him inside. Before Kurt could follow, Blaine yanked him away from the two.

"Is this a date?" Blaine said in a huff.

"It's a casual, um, group…" Kurt could not think of a synonym for date.

"This is a date! Kurt Hummel, you set me up on a date!" Blaine cried, spinning in a small, exaggerated circle, hands running through his curly locks. "I cannot believe you!"

"It was Alek's idea," Kurt offered.

Blaine grunted. "Seriously, you think I'm ready for this?"

"I'm just helping you get over Eddie," Kurt said in a small voice. "I mean, he's…cute…" Kurt stomach twisted at that last sentence.

"I don't care if he's Taylor Lautner! I can't do this!" Blaine pleaded.

"Yes, you can, Blaine," Kurt said softly.

He took Blaine's hand. Blaine's eyes found his instantly. It felt like a current shot between their bodies because the place where there hands touched felt electrically charged.

"You have to move on," Kurt spoke. "Why not start now?"

Blaine squeezed Kurt's fingers then dropped his hand. Nodding, the two walked into the restaurant.

**6:53****PM**

"We all met in college," Alek said, playing with his utensils, a nasty habit that Kurt ignored because he was too fixated on every one of Blaine's actions. "While I roomed with Dex, Kurt roomed with Blaine."

Spencer nodded understandingly, flashing the table a smile.

"What do you do, Spencer? Are you in college?" Blaine asked politely.

"I just graduated from Coastal Carolina," Spencer answered, eyes flitting over Blaine who tore his away, smiling down into his lap.

Kurt scowled. Spencer's look to Blaine wasn't even creepy or vain. It was a total _you're-cute-keep-talking_ look. Blaine's ears were turning red, something that happened once in a blue moon. The Hollister model was leaving a lasting impression on his friend.

"Are you a model too? Like Kendra?" Kurt spat, finally dragging his eyes away from Blaine.

Spencer laughed. It sounded like a bird – a pretty song bird. Kurt clinched a fist under the table.

"No, God, no," he said, covering his mouth. "I have a degree in Chemistry."

Spencer eyed Blaine again, arching an eyebrow. Blaine smiled back at him.

_Oh, cute, make a silent joke about being good at chemistry. You're not clever, Spencer_, Kurt thought to himself, readjusting his tie.

The waiter arrived, giving them a brief distraction. As soon as he left, Alek got up.

"I'm going to find the little boys' room," he said pleasantly, looking right at Kurt. Kurt was looking everywhere except at Alek. Alek spoke firmly, "Kurt, do you have to go?"

"No," he answered, oblivious.

Spencer picked himself up, straightening his pant legs. "You know what, that's a pretty good idea."

Alek desperately tried to make eye contact with Kurt as they walked off, but he avoided his fiancé's eyes like the plague.

"I dislike him very much!" Kurt confessed, turning to Blaine.

Blaine furrowed his brow. "He's really nice."

"He keeps looking at you like you're dinner, and he's starving. Doesn't that unnerve you?"

"No," Blaine laughed, "because I haven't even noticed."

"You were _blushing_! You were blushing like a little school girl!"

Blaine now turned completely to Kurt, their knees touching. "Kurt, why did you set me up on a date if you're so against it?"

"Why are you suddenly so into it?" Kurt fought back.

"And you want – what – for me to ignore him? He's nice, and I'm taking your advice. I'm giving the kid a chance!"

Kurt turned away, sheepish. What _was_ he doing? Kurt wanted Blaine to move on. He was just being selfish. But he didn't like Spencer, or Spencer's perfect hair, or Spencer's perfect smile, or eyes, or body, or personality. Kurt didn't like Spencer because Spencer was too perfect.

_Blaine deserves something perfect, doesn't he?_ a small voice in the back of Kurt's mind said. He regrettably agreed with it.

He reached over and placed his hand on top of Blaine's. "I'm sorry. You're right."

Blaine lifted his fingers and laced their fingers together.

**7:32****PM**

"So, Dex was telling me about some wedding problems," Spencer said suddenly.

Blaine's fork almost slipped into his glass of water. Recovering, he looked up at Spencer. Hoping, praying even, that Spencer was directing his words at either Alek or Kurt, his heart dropped when they locked eyes.

"Um, yeah, I was engaged, and, well…"

"The jerk left him at the altar," Kurt finished, saving Blaine. Under the table, Kurt bumped knees with Blaine; Blaine pushed back.

Spencer scrunched up his face sympathetically as he took a swig of soda.

"I'm sorry, Blaine. He must have been an idiot. I've only known you for a little while and can tell you're a lot to lose," Spencer said, reaching over and touching Blaine's hand. His touched lingered. Kurt watched Blaine's breathing arch.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom," Blaine said abruptly, standing up. "I'll be- I'll be right…yeah."

Without giving a second look at the table, Kurt ran after Blaine. Weaving around waiters and customers, Kurt managed to be right on Blaine's tail when the smaller man pushed open the bathroom door.

It was much brighter in the bathroom. So in the reflection of the mirror, Kurt saw how red Blaine's eyes were.

"Blaine," Kurt whispered, placing a tentative hand on his back.

"Kurt, he doesn't even know. He doesn't even realize…"

Blaine rolled his eyes, probably for the sake of preventing tears from forming.

"It's okay," Kurt said, rubbing small circles into his back.

"It's not. You don't understand how guilty I am that this is all my fault!"

"Our fault," Kurt muttered.

Blaine spun around, a stunned look in his eyes. He put both hands on Kurt's shoulders.

"This was never your fault."

Kurt looked away. It sure felt like his fault. Maybe that's why he's been running from this for days now.

"Blaine, can I ask you something?" Kurt whispered. Blaine only nodded. "How do I tell Alek? Do I tell Alek?"

Blaine pulled away, slumping back against the sinks. "The easy thing to do would be to forget it ever happened, which might be really easy because you have no recollection of it happening."

"But it did happen. Even if I don't remember, I know it did!" Kurt retorted.

"I wish it didn't," Blaine whispered.

Unexpectedly, deep inside Kurt's heart, a piece tore in half.

"Same," Kurt said automatically.

Blaine picked his head up, looking into Kurt's eyes. Although Blaine tried hard to mask it, Kurt saw how hurt Blaine was with this new information. Kurt felt the need to clarify, to take that feeling out of Blaine's system.

"None of this would have happened. No one would have gotten hurt," Kurt said. With a heavy heart, he added, "You'd be married."

Blaine tried and tried and tried to reply, but his mouth lipped wordlessly at the start of each failed sentence.

Finally, he said, "I'm glad I'm not."

Kurt swallowed, even though his mouth had become incredibly dry.

"Why?" Kurt whispered, a chill running through him.

Blaine looked directly at Kurt. He would have pulled his gaze away, but Blaine's eyes dug until his, taking root, making him immobile.

"I wasn't supposed to be with Eddie."

The piece of Kurt's heart that tore off moments ago somehow reattached itself. His brain was making him feel funny though. His insides were also acting strange.

Ignoring everything – the look Blaine was giving him and the way he was currently feeling – Kurt said, "Maybe you're supposed to be with Spencer."

With a smile that Kurt wasn't sure Blaine caught because he just couldn't make eye contact, they started to walk out of the bathroom.

Kurt chanced a glance to his right. The lights were not as bright in the dinning area, but that couldn't mash Blaine's sad eyes.

Kurt tried to push away the sadness that washed over him but knew his eyes had a huge likelihood of resembling Blaine's eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Next chapter: The Bachelor Party ;)


	16. If only it was a little crush

_All I really wanna do is love you – a kind much closer than friends use, _

_But I still can't say it after all we've been through._

_–Jason Mraz_

_xo_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixteen<strong>

"If only it was a little crush."

_21 Days Until Kurt's Wedding_

Blaine's phone danced on the coffee table as it accepted a new text message. As he reached for the devise, Kurt snatched it up. Sinking back into the couch, Blaine didn't even bother fighting for his phone. Somehow, Kurt knew when someone's texts weren't juicy, when he was allowed to read them aloud. He always took Blaine's phone, and after many years of this, Blaine gave up fighting. He always lost anyhow.

"_Alek and Dex were on the bar using their glasses as microphones, singing "Bad Romance" really obnoxiously_," Kurt read the text from Spencer. "_Needless to say, I stopped after that drink_."

"Reply: _Oh my God! Make sure this doesn't turn into a scene from_The Hangover_. Get some sleep tonight, okay?_ with a smilie face."

Distracted by texting the message, Blaine watched Kurt without fear of being caught. He had taken his friend's advice. He took a chance with Spencer. Still, as nice as Spencer was, Blaine couldn't take his eyes off Kurt.

_He's getting married in three weeks. Get over your little crush, Blaine_, the boy thought, evading his eyes as Kurt placed his phone on the table again. If only it was a little crush.

"I'm still worried Alek's going to get hurt," Kurt admitted, his face creasing in anxiety.

They were lying with their heads on either side of the couch. Their legs were bent and rested against each other in the middle. Blaine gently nudged Kurt with his legs.

"Alek's in good hands," Blaine said genuinely. "Spencer wouldn't let anything happen to him."

Kurt's eyebrows rose apprehensively. He said harshly, "And you know this from two weeks of texting?" Softening instantly, Kurt added, "Sorry. I didn't mean to sound like that. I just have all these scenarios in my head that won't go away."

"It's late; they're probably not even out anymore," Blaine said truthfully.

"Can I be honest with you?" Kurt asked, sitting up. Sitting up as well, Blaine replied with a nod. "Those scenarios in my head aren't even about Alek."

"What do you mean?" Blaine questioned confused.

"What if I die? What if I get hit by a car? I'll be dead and can't get married. Or what if I get alcohol poisoning? And then I die. Everyone'll be at my funeral instead of my wedding," Kurt ranted.

Blaine couldn't help but smile. "You've actually been thinking about this? Getting hit by a car?" Kurt gave a tragic nod. "You're not going to die."

"But what if something goes wrong? What if- What if-"

"What if…?"

"What if something like New Years happens again?" Kurt asked, his eyes cast away. Blaine swallowed a huge lump in his throat. "What if something goes wrong?"

Blaine didn't see this coming. He didn't prepare himself for this kind of a blow. Never in a million years would Kurt choose Blaine. That's what this conversation was telling him, that and kissing Blaine is the equivalent of getting hit by a car.

With a heavy heart, Blaine said, "Nothing will go wrong."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise."

* * *

><p><em>15 Days Before Kurt's Wedding<em>

For the bachelor party, Blaine reserved them an entire block of hotel rooms. Crowding in his and Kurt's room, Blaine took a head count of everyone as Noah Puckerman poured out shots handing them out. Kurt invited his entire high school Glee Club (minus their director) to his party. Although, it was a_bachelor_ party, the boys were outnumbered by the girls. Only four couldn't make it: Mike Chang, Lauren Zizes, Sam Evans, and Artie Abrams. Other than that, Blaine counted, there were ten present.

"We need to loosen up!" Puck announced. "There's no way our boy Kurt will have a good time if we're all a bunch of stiffs."

And as the entire room clanked each other's glasses in a melody of _cheers!,_Blaine figured this could go one of two ways: really great or be a complete disaster. So he downed his shot, face puckering from the taste.

"Okay the limo should be outside!" Blaine spoke, clapping to get everyone's attention."Let's get this party going!"

As they tried to cram out of the door all at once, Finn found his way to Blaine's side.

"Tonight should be epic, man," Finn assumed. His words were friendly, but his eyes were shifty.

"With what we have planned…" Blaine trailed off. He fell back into the small crowd. He didn't need Finn's knowing eyes tonight.

As if by a magnetic pull, he was at Kurt's side.

"I can't believe you're getting married, Kurt" Tina Cohen-Chang beamed. "You're the first of all of us!"

"Honestly, I figured you'd still be boyfriend-less even today with your perfect zero-lays record in high school," Santana Lopez said bluntly. "Good for you, Hummel."

"They're not getting married because one of them is pregnant, right?" Brittany Pierce asked softly, eying Kurt's stomach. "That's what happened to my parents."

Blaine laughed as Santana pulled Brittany away to explain to her the obvious. He caught Kurt's eye and smiled. Blaine knew he missed his friends. Most of them were still in Ohio, so he never saw them. Kurt returned a genuine smile.

They piled into the hummer limo. The inside looked like a tiny club. Finn immediately popped the Champaign, the foam spilling onto Rachel Berry's head. To retaliate, she went to punch him but was knocked onto the floor as the limo moved. Without even bothering to pour the liquid into glasses, Finn passed the bottle around.

Mercedes, taking a long swig of the drink, asked Blaine, "What do you have planned? We aren't just drinking all night are we?" but nonetheless took another sip.

"We've got some awesome stuff planned!" Finn supplied, turning up the music.

"There better not be strippers!" Kurt exclaimed, grabbing the Champaign.

Puck groaned, socking Finn in the side. He grunted, "If you ordered these chicks strippers, you are gay, and I've been right for years!"

Quinn Fabray smiled, pulling her boyfriend away from Puckerman. Finn looked grateful. Rachel shifted her eyes between the pair, curiously.

"It's about a fifteen minute trip to the bar," Blaine spoke over the murmurs. "So take advantage of the limo!"

"I for one think we should all be very careful tonight," Rachel announced, standing on the seat to make herself inches taller than the rest. "Overdrinking is foolish and-"

"Shut up, Dobby," Santana spat, chugging down the last of the Champaign. "Have fun for once in your life!"

"Santana, my reputation is up for judgment everyday in the public eye. I can't give anyone a reason to-"

"Rachel, you are an understudy for a show that is off-Broadway," Kurt emphasized. "No one cares."

"Not even us," Puck said, messing up her already sticky hairdo.

A few minute's later the limo came to an abrupt stop, knocking most people sideways. Finn ushered everyone out of the limo. Crowding around the front doors of a small bar, the buzz of excitement in the air continued. Finn was the first to enter and everyone else followed.

Inside, it was empty and really dark. Blaine glanced around. This portion of the night was Finn's idea, and he suddenly regretted leaving any decisions to Finn.

"This way!" Finn called.

"This is a scene from a horror movie; I'm telling you," Mercedes whispered to Kurt. He nodded, eyes wide.

Finn pushed through a set of double doors. The room they walked into had an immediate warm feel. Looking around, everyone realized they were in a private bar. A bartender stood behind the counter, bottles of liquor on shelves behind him.

"We are just drinking all night!" Mercedes laughed. "That's fine. I'll have a-"

"Wait," Finn interrupted. "We're not being served. We're learning how to make cocktails."

Santana and Puck instantly perked up to this news. And as if they read each other's minds, the two climbed over the bar and into the bartender's station.

"Take a break, sweet cakes," Santana said, smacking the guy's ass. "Let the professionals take it from here."

Disgruntled, the bartender stocked away. "Just don't break anything," he said as an afterthought.

"Quinn, get up here. You're the first person for body shots!" Puck ordered, stacking up glasses on the counter. Kurt and Blaine exchanged a look.

"No!" Finn exclaimed.

"Finn's right. We don't want to get wasted. This is only the first thing we're doing," Blaine said awkwardly. "Teach me how to flip a bottle without smashing it. I think that's pretty cool."

Crowding around the table, everyone started spilling liquid upon liquid into their designated cups. Puck demonstrated all the little tricks he's picked up through the years, and Santana ran off recipes that no one could really keep up on.

They tried to make a Cosmopolitan.

"This tastes like windshield wiper fluid!" Kurt shrieked, spitting his drink onto the floor.

"You didn't add enough cranberry juice!"

Kurt grabbed the bottle of cranberry juice and chugged to get rid of the taste.

They tried to make a Mojito.

Tina gagged. "This is disgusting!"

Mercedes took a sip, which she sprayed all over Santana. Repulsed, her mouth gaping, Santana's hand 'slipped' and the drink poured down Mercedes' front.

Dabbing her with napkins, Kurt said, "You should be okay. It's clear. It shouldn't stain!"

"I'm going to smell like this all night!"

"No one'll judge you," Blaine assured.

When Blaine made a Screwdriver, he was really pleased with himself.

"This tastes great!" he almost sang. Rachel tried it, nodding in approval.

"It's Vodka and orange juice. A monkey could make that," Santana spat, rolling her eyes.

After a few more failed attempts at drink making and trick learning, the gang headed back to the limo. Most were tipsy, but no one was drunk. Internally, as Blaine stepped into the vehicle, he wished he were.

Fighting a smile, he waited. Then the lights went out. The girls shrieked, and Blaine felt those on either side of him tense.

"What just happened?" Kurt whispered into his ear.

"I heard someone's getting married!" a loud unfamiliar voice spoke. The lights were on again.

Everyone pointed desperately at Kurt. An attractive man wearing a driver's suit approached him. He grabbed Kurt's tie and pulled him up, moving him to the front of the limo into an empty seat. Kurt shot Blaine daggers with his eyes. Blaine just smiled to himself.

"I knew you were gay!" Puck shouted, who stood up and pointed at Finn. Mercedes and Tina immediately pulled him down beside them.

All the girls were laughing their heads off as the stripper started to undo his suit buttons, dragging the coat slowly down his arms. Puck and Finn were evading their eyes as if the man didn't exist. As the stripped flung the coat around Kurt's shoulders, sitting on his lap, Blaine caught Kurt's eye.

Kurt started wide-eyed at him, horrified. They didn't send any messages between each other. This was probably due to the fact that Kurt couldn't think straight. There was a man stripping in his lap.

"Take it off!" Santana shouted, jumping up and down. Brittany giggled next to her, taking her hand in her own.

The man ripped off his pants. Blocking her eyes, Rachel yelped, "I am not drunk enough for this!"

As the show continued, with each new item of clothing removed, Blaine's stomach twisted. Not reacting, just looking at Kurt, who was obviously too embarrassed to look at anyone, Blaine realized how getting a stripper wasn't his best idea. He thought it'd be funny, but he sat there consumed in jealousy. No one's allowed to touch Kurt like that. It was vile.

The limo stopped as the stripper started giving Kurt a slow lap dance, only in his tiny underwear. Kurt had his hands over his face, laughing. Blaine rushed to the door, pulling it open.

"We're here!" he yelled over the commotion.

The girls groaned, getting up. Puck and Finn raced past everyone to get off first. Soon, the only people in the limo were Kurt, Blaine, and the stripper.

"Did you have a good time?" the stripper asked, touching Kurt's fingers which still hide his face. Kurt let the stripper pull his hands away.

"I was humiliated and uncomfortable," Kurt stammered, "but yes, I did have a good time."

"Kurt…" Blaine muttered.

Both boys looked at Blaine.

"Are we done?" the stripper asked. "I'm sure your friends wouldn't mind if you were a little late." The stripper winked.

"No, he's done!" Blaine warned, breaking the pair apart. "Thank you for your…service."

Blaine tugged Kurt away. Kurt was giggling uncontrollably behind him. They were at a club, and the others were already inside. Holding tightly to Kurt's hand, Blaine forced his way in and around until he found their circle of friends.

They catcalled when Kurt arrived. Kurt was probably blushing, but the flashing lights hide it well. Both boys took the drinks that were offered to them.

"Here's to Kurt!" Rachel called over the music.

"The only one of us with his head on his shoulders!" Mercedes yelled, raising her glass.

"To many years of marriage!" Puck shouted.

"To many happy years with Alek!" Quinn bellowed.

"To many, many gay babies!" Brittany finished.

They cheered to that and downed their drinks. Breaking off in pairs, they retreated to the dance floor.

"I'm going to just sit for a little," Kurt yelled into Blaine's ear.

Watching everyone dance away from the pair, Blaine turned to Kurt who walked to their huge booth. Blaine sat beside him.

"Are you having fun?" Blaine asked.

Pulling away from Kurt's ear, he saw the wide smile on Kurt's face. "I'm having an amazing time! I'm just overwhelmed right now! I need a break before anything else!"

Blaine smiled and nodded. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he placed his empty glass and it onto the small table in front of them.

"I'll stay with you until you're ready to dance!"

The beat pulsed in their ears and all around them. Looking over his shoulder, Blaine tried to find everyone. He saw them all gradually. Brittany and Santana were kicking everyone else's tails on the floor, sticking really close together, getting plenty of male attention, which they weren't concerned with, silly smiles plastered onto their faces as they looked into each other's eyes. The alcohol must have been setting in because Mercedes and Tina were laughing uncontrollably, bumping into everyone else and each other, receiving harsh glares from those around them. Puck kept trying to grind up on both Quinn and Rachel. Both girls shied away from his thrusts. It was pretty funny, Blaine decided. They looked like prude preteens. Looking at every face, Blaine couldn't find Finn.

There was a tap on his shoulder. Looking back at Kurt, he saw that his friend was holding his lit up phone. The text on the scene had been opened. Slightly panicked, he snatched his phone.

**Meet me by the bathroom, asap**, Finn's text read.

Kurt got up in the next second, dancing towards the floor. Watching close as Kurt made his way to save Quinn and Rachel, Blaine stood up.

Finn was waited on the floor in front of the Boys Bathroom, fiddling with his thumbs.

"Sit, sit," Finn called, patting the spot beside him.

Hesitantly, Blaine did as he was told. Finn had his knowing eyes on.

"What?" Blaine questioned shyly.

"Did you tell Kurt yet?" Finn asked immediately. "I saw the death glares you were sending that stripper. I told you it wasn't a good idea."

"He said he was having fun," Blaine said with a shrug.

"Blaine, you know you're out of time, right?"

Blaine bit his lip. "I know."

"So, did you tell him?" Finn asked again.

"I can't, Finn. I can't tell him. He's going to get married, and I'm going to have to move on."

Finn elbowed Blaine. "At least you've come to terms with it, man."

"I just want him to be happy."

Finn gripped his shoulder. "You're really in love him, aren't you?"

"Painfully so."

Finn gave him a sad smile and pulled himself up. Helping Blaine onto his feet, the boys went back into the club. The sound engulfed them as did the smell of alcohol, smoke, and sweat. Blaine didn't know why people liked clubs so much.

It took a little time to find their group. Everyone was there, except Kurt.

"Where's Kurt?" Blaine yelled into Mercedes ear. Turning his entire body, she had him focus in on the bar. Blaine saw him.

Rushing across the dance floor, Blaine made contact with Kurt's body, whipping him around. His drink spilled down his own arm. Kurt licked it up like a dog.

"BLAINE!" Kurt yelled happily. He downed his drink and took Blaine's hand. "Dance with me!"

Kurt breathed into Blaine's face. His breath smelled like really strong alcohol. Kurt must have had a few shots.

In a crowd of people, Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck and started to dance with him. Blaine felt really uncomfortable because they were so close. Looked away, he tried to find the others. Everyone was having a good time. Good.

Kurt forced Blaine's face forward, their noses almost touching. "STOP BEING SO UPTIGHT!"

Kurt positioned his legs on either side of Blaine's right thigh and started to shimmy his way up. Wide-eyed, Blaine forgot how to function. This was way too close. If he didn't stop Kurt soon, he'd have no control over anything; he'd be too absorbed in lust to stop. In actuality, he wanted to pull Kurt closer, press their body against each other so they couldn't breathe without forcing the other to do so too. But Blaine listened to his better judgment and pushed Kurt away.

Not seeming too fazed, Kurt laced his fingers in the curls at the base of Blaine's head. "Shhhh!" he hissed, putting a single finger on Blaine's lips.

Kurt inched closer. Their breath mingled together. Blaine's eyes fluttered shut even though his head was scolding him darkly. Kurt didn't kiss him though. He took hold of Blaine's arms and snaked them around his own stomach. Kurt laced his fingers together. Then suddenly, Kurt's back was grinding into Blaine's front.

Gasping, Blaine's eyes opened. His head jerked forward, resting on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt moved his hips to the rhythm and soon Blaine stopped resisting and moved with him.

Blaine's breathing arched in Kurt's ear, and Kurt laughed.

"Stop fighting," Kurt yelled, tilting his head back.

They looked at each other. Despite the crazy lust they were both shooting off, despite the amount of alcohol they both consumed, Kurt's eyes were soft, pleading.

This scared Blaine. He wrenched himself off Kurt abruptly.

Feeling disgusting, he backed away. Diving into the crowd, he escaped everyone he knew. Almost pulling his own hair out, he ran out of the club. Racing around the parking lot, he found the limo. He tore the door open.

What was he doing?_What was he doing?_Kurt is practically a married man. A few more minutes of dancing with Kurt, everything would have come apart. He wouldn't have been able to control his actions, his desires. Why did he make such stupid choices with Kurt – why, when he could risk losing everything? He felt nauseous.

The door opened.

"Blaine? Are you in here?"

Blaine didn't realize there were no lights in the limo. Kurt walked around the side, knocking of the front door. Blaine heard murmuring and then the lights flickered on. Kurt walked into the limo.

"Why'd you run away?" he asked immediately.

"It was just too much," Blaine said honestly. "I'm sorry, Kurt. I keep breaking my promise – that nothing will go wrong."

Kurt smiled sweetly at Blaine, reaching out his hand for him to take. "Nothing's going wrong. Just come back inside."

Blaine gazed up at his hand. He could take it and follow Kurt back inside and have fun. Or he could sit here and be miserable. One ensures no trouble and the other could ruin everything. So he just stared at Kurt's hand.

"I trust you, Blaine," Kurt said softly.

Blaine's eyes shot up to meet Kurt's eyes. He suddenly had an option three – not take Kurt's hand and leave, not reject his hand and stay. In his head, he saw himself grab Kurt's hand, pulling them together, kissing him. They'd kiss and kiss and kiss until the others came back, and then they'd go back to their hotel room and things would escalate. In the morning, Kurt wouldn't remember a thing, but for tonight, they'd have something they both seemed to want. Each other.

Blaine took Kurt's hand. He couldn't do that. Not to Alek, not to Kurt, not to himself. So, he stood up and followed Kurt inside. Making sure they stayed around everyone else, the dancing never got to the intensity it previously had been. They all danced for hours until they were too sore to even walk. Dizzily, they found their way back to the limo.

"Britt-Britt, will you put your shirt back on!" Santana cried, tears splattering in all directions as she desperately tried to hide Brittany from everyone's eyes. "Berry keeps staring at you!"

"I do not!" Rachel yelling, clinging close to Finn.

"STOP TOUCHING HIM!" Quinn bellowed, pushing Rachel into Puck's arms.

"You're going to break her!" Puck shouted as Rachel hugged him tightly.

Everyone continued to bicker; Santana continued to sob; Brittany continued to strip, and Mercedes and Tina crashed together and dozing off. Everything drowned out as Kurt's head hit Blaine's shoulder though. Looking sideways, he stared down at the sleeping boy.

_Alek, you are so lucky,_Blaine thought, his eyes prickling with the tears that started to form.

It was a task getting everyone into the hotel and into their rooms. Finn had to carry Kurt. He was too drunk, too tired to do anything on his own. He placed Kurt down onto his bed. Patting Blaine's back, Finn exited the room.

Walking over to Kurt, Blaine smiled down at his snoozing friend. He reached forward and touched Kurt's cheek, his thumb running back and forth over his cheekbone. His felt sober, like the butterflies assaulting his stomach washed away the alcohol.

His took off Kurt's tie, placing it neatly on the bedside table. Sucking in a breath, he leaned forward and kissed Kurt's forehead. Smiling sadly down at him, Blaine turned away.

"Blaine," Kurt whispered.

"Yeah, Kurt?" Blaine asked, moving back to Kurt's side.

"Sleep here," Kurt muttered. "Sleep next to me."

Blaine nodded. Without removing one article of clothing, Blaine eased into the bed next to Kurt. He made room and kept Blaine near. Their faces were close, and Kurt put one hand on Blaine's side with the other one his chest. Blaine didn't touch Kurt.

Flicking the light off, Blaine tried to fall asleep. His eyes adjusting to the room's darkness, and he could now made out Kurt's face. His eyes were open, staring at Blaine too.

"I'm sorry," Kurt whispered, fingers slowing gripping Blaine's shirt.

"I don't know what you're sorry for, but you probably don't have to be sorry for it."

Kurt sniffled. Closing the distance, Kurt tucked his head under Blaine's chin. He wasn't crying, but Blaine figured he was fighting the tears.

"I love you," Kurt whispered slowly, hands holding Blaine close.

Blaine's heart thumped. "I love you too, Kurt." It was true but could have a double-meaning.

"You don't understand…"

"Hmmm, what?"

"This could have been us."

Blaine didn't know what Kurt was talking about. "What could have?"

Kurt said this so softly; Blaine almost didn't catch it. "This." Kurt nuzzled closer.

Confused, Blaine pulled away. Kurt's eyes were pleading with Blaine to understand, to hear what he was really saying.

"I love you. I always have," Kurt whispered. "Even now."

Blaine's heart expanded, pulling in every drop of Kurt's words, understanding, finally what Kurt was trying to say.

Blaine cupped Kurt's cheek.

"This could have been us," Kurt whispered again, his voice hoarse.

Suddenly, as if it was too hard to look at Blaine, Kurt pushed his head against Blaine's chest.

"But it's not," Kurt sobbed, finally allowing himself to cry. "It can't be."

Ignoring the pain he was feeling, Blaine clung to Kurt. He couldn't really do anything else. He was helpless. He held on tightly until the sobs turned to breathing and the breathing leveled out.

Blaine realized one thing. Kurt wouldn't remember this in the morning.

He didn't know how he felt about that.


	17. Break someone's heart either way

**Author's Note:** So this is the chapter, guys! You'll see what I mean =) Also, I added songs to each chapter if you wanna look ;) (Look at Chapter 7, hehe!)

* * *

><p><em>Where I've been all these years with you beside me, <em>

_I can't believe that you can love me all the same. _

_How far I've run, who I've become, you'll always find me. _

_After all, I'm the one who ran away._

_-Matt Wertz_

_xo_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seventeen<strong>

"I'm going to break someone's heart either way."

_14 Days Until Kurt's Wedding_

The first time Kurt opened his eyes that morning, he wished he could close them up and have everything go away. Attempting to do so, he realized this wouldn't disappear. Kurt racked his brain desperately trying to remember last night. He remembered up to the club, but somewhere in the mix of people, dancing, and drinking far too much, Kurt's memories failed him.

Something happened between then and now because when Kurt opened his eyes, all he saw was Blaine.

"If you're awake, be awake. I'm not dealing with jumping on the bed and dragging the covers off," Kurt demanded, noticing Blaine's eyes shift under his lids. "Blaine, open your eyes."

Blaine's face twisted but his eyes opened in the next second. They just stared, not thinking anything, not doing anything except looking.

After what seemed like a lifetime, Kurt mumbled, "Tell me what happened."

Blaine sighed, lifting himself into a seated position against the headboard. Kurt's heart sunk, fearing the worse.

"I don't really know where to start. When did you start forgetting?" Blaine questioned, pulling the blankets against him.

"I don't care about everything," Kurt groaned. "Tell me about us. Tell me what we did." Blaine leaned his head back, looking at the ceiling. "_Blaine._"

"Nothing," Blaine said.

"That's a lie!" Kurt fought, getting up onto his knees.

"Kurt, how are you so sure? I promised nothing would go wrong, didn't I?"

"_I heard you!_"

Blaine's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What did you hear?"

"When Finn texted you, I followed you."

His eyes opening with realization, Blaine muttered, "How much did you hear?"

"Blaine, when did you plan to tell me you loved me? Oh wait, you never planned to!" Kurt said upset.

Looking sheepish, pulling his knees to his chest, Blaine gnawed on his lip.

"Kurt, you shouldn't have heard that," Blaine said finally.

"I shouldn't have heard that? That's kind of a big thing, Blaine!"

"What difference does it make?" Blaine fumed, flailing his arms.

"I just think you should have told me."

"Like how you love me? Don't you think you should have told me that, Kurt? That you've always loved me?"

Kurt's mouth dropped open. What? What was he-

"That's what happened last night," Blaine continued. "You said you loved me now and that you always have."

"I said that?" Kurt mumbled, horrified, his hand over his mouth.

"Kurt, you're not allowed to be mad at me. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to hear you say you didn't love me too. Watching you choose another man would have been hard enough."

Kurt sat at the edge of the bed, looking at the floor. Hugging himself, he shook his head at Blaine's words. The bed moved and Blaine was next to him.

"You said you loved me. Do you?" Blaine asked very, very quietly.

"Blaine, I can't-"

"Kurt, I know you choose him. You even said so last night. I just need to hear it."

"I am in love with you, Blaine," Kurt said blankly, slowing down each word. "I just can't be."

Blaine stood up, walking towards the door. "I won't interfere," and then he walked out.

* * *

><p><em>1<em>_ Days Until Kurt's Wedding_

Kurt dreaded seeing Blaine. Months ago when neither knew they loved the other, Blaine promised to help set up for the wedding rehearsal and dinner. So, that day had come, and Kurt's gaze was fixated on the door, waiting to see if Blaine would keep his promise.

Blaine peeked tentatively around the corner. Immediately, they locked eyes.

_Do you want me here? _Blaine's face read.

Kurt glanced around the room. Everyone's arms were full. Everyone was distracted. He made up his mind quick. Keeping his eyes on Alek, Kurt walked towards Blaine. Without so much as a look, Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and dragged him down the hall. Kurt opened the first door he found – a storage room.

"Kurt, I think you should kick me out. I'm not thinking straight," Blaine quaked.

"What?"

"How long have you loved me?" Blaine blurted. "How long have you known?"

"Blaine…"

"Kurt, I'm not playing games anymore. You love me. I love you. All I've been thinking about for two weeks is you. I just need answers," Blaine said, eyes full of sadness.

Kurt nodded slowly. "I was nineteen when I fell in love with you."

"You were…_nineteen_?" Blaine choked. "Why have you never told me?"

"Because of Eddie, Blaine!" Kurt cried. He looked devastated to be having this conversation. "You were so in love with Eddie and you kept going back to him. What was I supposed to do, wait around?"

Guilt filled Blaine's stomach. "You love Alek."

Incredulously, Kurt exclaimed, "Of course I love Alek! What kind of stupid-" Blaine flinched at Kurt's tone, so he stopped mid-sentence. "I wouldn't be marrying him if I wasn't in love with him."

Blaine hesitated with his next question, unsure if it was too much, too soon. Realizing, he only had so much time, he asked, "When I was going to marry Eddie, how did that feel?"

"I accepted it, Blaine," Kurt said sternly, "something you need to do."

"I can't accept how stupid we've both been. I've loved you for years, Kurt! I never wanted to admit it to myself because I cared too much about you to screw things up. When Eddie came, it was a good distraction. I was so hurt, so in love all the time that I put whatever I felt for you somewhere deep inside me. When he left, when I didn't have him to fall back on, I realized. I won't accept how close we were."

Kurt was slumping against the door. He was breathing in deep, long breaths. He wasn't looking at Blaine. Inside, he wanted to disappear. He wasn't all of this to disappear.

"I'm going to break someone's heart either way," Kurt whispered.

"I've always been the good guy. I've always said that I wanted you to marry Alek. I don't want him to get hurt because I know exactly how getting left at the altar feels, but I'm going to be selfish, Kurt," Blaine said in a rush, as if the words were poisonous. "Kiss me."

Kurt's stomach flipped at the command. The silly, in-love nineteen year old inside of him submerged. He never thought he'd hear Blaine say that, not to him.

"I can't, Blaine," said his reasonable twenty-three year old self.

"I never kissed you before. On New Years when we kissed, something changed. Kissing you felt bigger than fireworks. It was more like atomic missiles exploding. I never felt that way before."

"Why are you telling me this?" Kurt questioned, his voice hoarse.

"I want you to feel that."

Sighing, he said, "I am marrying Alek, Blaine."

"Tell me you don't want to kiss me, Kurt," Blaine spoke confidently, striding towards him.

Blaine pressed Kurt's shoulders against the door then cupped his face with both hands. They remained this way until it was too much for them both.

"I want to kiss you so bad," Kurt breathed.

Hiding how surprised he was, Blaine inched closer. His eyes fluttered shut. Blaine's lips were hovering over Kurt's. As soon as Blaine's lips made contact – just a touch, just a millimeter of skin touching – Kurt whispered something.

Kurt said, "I'm getting married in the morning."

Lips touching as lightly as humanly possible, Blaine froze.

He continued, "Kissing you won't change anything." Blaine dropped his hands from Kurt's face. "I want to kiss you, Blaine. I don't want to hurt you. I want to give you everything, but I can't. I just…I made a commitment."

"What do you want though? If you had to choose…"

"Blaine…stop."

"If you had to choose…"

Slamming his fist at his side, banging it against the door, Kurt yelled, "I'd choose him, Blaine! I'd choose him!"

Blaine looked taken aback. Obviously, he didn't expect the outburst. He also didn't expect that reply.

"Why couldn't you leave? Why don't you understand I don't want to do this? I made my choice years ago to give up on you, Blaine! Why are you so late? Why didn't you realize sooner?"

Gasping, tears rolling down his face, Kurt collapsed into Blaine's arms.

"You chose Eddie," Kurt wept. "You'd be married, and I'd be marrying Alek, and no one would be getting hurt."

"I just love you, Kurt," Blaine whispered helplessly, hugging Kurt so tightly it hurt.

"If you love me, let me marry Alek. Let me go like I let you go. We chose years ago, and we didn't choose each other."

Blaine pressed their foreheads together. Being selfish didn't work. What did he think was going to happen? That Kurt would run away with him without thinking about Alek? He had to be the good guy again. Kurt didn't need this the day before his wedding. Blaine cringed at the thought of tomorrow.

"As your best friend, you need to get back in there before people start wondering what happened to you," Blaine said, rubbing gently at Kurt's back. He had to add the 'best friend' bit because if he had his way, Kurt would never leave his arms – they'd never leave this tight closet.

Blaine pulled them apart, thumbing at Kurt's tears. He gripped his friend's shoulders tightly, looking into his eyes.

"I'm so sorry," Kurt sobbed.

Blaine smiled sadly. "It's not your fault. I should have taken the risk the second I realized."

"You're my best friend, Blaine," Kurt whispered, crashing into Blaine's arms again.

Blaine waited until Kurt was ready to let go. When he did, Blaine wanted to pull him close again. Time kind of froze when they hugged, like the wedding wasn't approaching – they were just holding their breaths in time.

Allowing himself this one little thing, Blaine leaned forward and kissed Kurt's cheek. Kurt choked back a sob. It was middle ground, not as passionate as a kiss, yet not as friendly as a hug.

"I'm going to go, okay?" Blaine said, opening the door. "I'll see you tomorrow." He struggled with that sentence.

It took Kurt a few minutes to compose himself. As soon as he walked back into the hall, he saw Alek. Alek reminded him of Blaine and thinking of Blaine broke his heart, so he cried. Drowning in tears, arms were suddenly around him.

"Kurt?" Finn asked. "Kurt, what happened? What's wrong?"

"Bl-Bl-Blai-" Kurt spluttered, unable to say his name. Gasping, he said quickly, "Blaine."

Finn called over his shoulder, "Just finish up. I have Kurt. Alek, no seriously, man, I got this."

Finn pulled him away. Somehow, they found a couch, and he got tugged down onto it.

"Blaine told you?" Finn whispered into his ear.

Kurt pulled away frantically. "You knew?"

Finn broke eye contact, looking very guilty and very sad. "You didn't?"

Kurt sobbed harder. "No," his voice quivered.

Finn hugged Kurt again. "Alek loves you," he offered.

"But I'm hurting Blaine, and it's killing me!"

As Finn patted down Kurt's hair, Kurt slapped away his hand. "You'd hurt Alek if you'd choose Blaine."

"This is worse. This is so much worse."

Finn grabbed at Kurt's arms and pushed him away, holding him so he'd be steady. Finn waited until Kurt's eyes met his.

"Maybe that means something," Finn said shortly.

Eyes clearing, tears still spilling down his face, Kurt's stomach hollowed. What was that supposed to mean?

"Kurt," Alek's voice said from down the hall. Both boys jumped. "We have to start."

Nodding sadly, Kurt picked himself up. He wiped away his tears and walked to Alek. He took his fiancé's hand. Before they walked through the doors, Kurt looked back at Finn. His brother gave him a half-smile, a very sad half-smile.

Kurt didn't hear anything as they ran through the ceremony. He was numb. He physically couldn't take anything in. It was like someone was in his brain, taking the reigns, telling him to breathe, to walk, to stand.

"Do you, Kurt Hummel, take thee Alek Haber to be your wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor, and cherish, 'til death do you part?" the fake minister asked.

"I do," Kurt vowed without thinking, and before the thought even reached his mind, he added, "I think."

Immediately realizing what he'd just said, Kurt whipped his head up, but not to look at his shocked fiance - to look at his best friend Blaine.

But Blaine wasn't there.

"_You think?_" Alek spat. "You think?"

Kurt felt dizzy. It was rare for him to fault, but he was wishing, hard, for it to happen now so he didn't have to be here anymore. _Please._


	18. He tried to save them

**Author's Note****:** You're in for a doozy. =)

* * *

><p><em>I lose myself in a daydream, where I stand and say,<em>

"_Don't say 'Yes,' run away now! _

_I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door!"_

_-Taylor Swift_

_xo_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eighteen<strong>

He tried to save them.

_0 Days Until Kurt's Wedding_

As Kurt walked down the aisle, he paid particularly close attention to the pink flowers under his feet. He didn't want to step on them. He didn't want to ruin something so perfect – damage the petals, press the pink into the white cloth sitting under. He wanted it to seem like he was never there.

But Kurt was, and soon, other people would be too. And all his attempts at holding onto perfection, saving something that was inevitable to save, wouldn't make a difference. No one cared about that. The little details didn't matter as Blaine once said.

Kurt reached up into the large pink tree and snapped a flower from its branch.

_I can wait and hope that the wind picks up to spread more flowers, or I can do this and spread them myself_, Kurt thought, eyes skimming over the field. _I can try and try and try to save the flowers, but they're going to die either way._

So he gripped the nearest tree branch and hoisted himself up. Kurt just sat for a second, engulfed in a sea of pink. He closed his eyes and just smelled, just breathed.

"Why are you up in a tree?"

Kurt almost slipped from his branch. Heart thumping, he peer down at Blaine who was peering up.

"Sorry," Blaine apologized, "I didn't mean to scare you."

"I didn't think you'd come so soon," Kurt said honestly.

"I was already in the neighborhood. I figured you were here setting up before I even texted you," Blaine said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"Catch the flowers, okay?" Kurt said, shaking the branch that reached over Blaine's head.

Blaine gazed up, opening his arms, and tried his hardest to collect the falling flowers.

"Why am I doing this?" Blaine asked, looking quite silly dancing about on the ground.

"I want there to be more flowers on the ground but don't want the entire front of the tree to be bare."

Blaine carefully threw the flowers down in empty patches and further up the aisle. They did this in silence until Kurt was satisfied. It did look better, Kurt decided.

"Why'd you come, Blaine?" Kurt asked, perched in the tree.

Blaine sat down in the green grass and leaned back on his elbows to gaze up at Kurt easily.

"I just wanted to apologize," he said.

Picking at the petals of a flower absentmindedly, Kurt replied, "You don't have to do that."

Sitting up, Blaine exclaimed, "No, I do! I shouldn't have done that to you. I was being stupid and selfish and-"

Kurt laughed, "Blaine, you are none of those things."

Blaine pushed himself onto his feet. He walked to the tree and gripped the branch right at his head.

Pressing his forehead against the bark, he whispered, "Are we ever going to be okay again?"

Kurt moved down the branches until he was sitting on the branch Blaine held.

"We're us. Is it even a question?" Kurt said.

Blaine picked up his head. "Kurt, I don't think we will be. I don't know if we'll ever be the same."

Furrowing his brow, Kurt asked, "Why?"

Blaine backed up without looking at Kurt. "I don't think I can come to your wedding." This time, Kurt actually did fall out of the tree. He landed ungracefully on his feet. Blaine continued, "I know you came to mine, but I can't handle thoughts of you marrying Alek let alone having to stand beside you as you do. I just- I can't, Kurt."

Kurt looked somewhere between stunned and devastated.

"I can't make you come," Kurt spoke.

"I want to turn these feeling off, Kurt, but I don't know how!" Blaine said desperately. "I don't want to do something stupid."

"Like what?" Kurt said in a small voice.

"Object."

Kurt's eyebrows rose. "Yeah, don't- don't come."

Blaine nodded sadly, but he accepted it. "The next time I see you, you'll be married."

Kurt crossed his arms across his chest. "Blaine, you should leave."

"Kurt?" Blaine quacked, moving forward.

"Just go."

As Blaine stumbled away, he glanced back and hated the fact that this sad-Kurt was going to be the one plaguing his mind until he made things right. He had no idea when he'd have that opportunity though, if he'd have the opportunity at all.

Kurt watched as Blaine trudged away, smashing flowers under his feet at he went. He tried to save them; he really did.

Blaine spent hours just wandering around the city. Every so often he'd glance down at his watch, seeing that the minutes until Kurt's wedding were flying by. Not chancing anyone changing his mind, Blaine turned his phone off.

Nothing made sense, and everything was falling apart.

It was four-thirty, and Blaine felt literally sick with the thought of how close the ceremony was. Unable to function, Blaine decided being at home was the smartest idea.

Ten minutes passed. Twenty minutes until the wedding. This hurt so much, Blaine decided. As he trudged down his hallway, his eyes were fixated on the floor. Mechanically stopping before his door, shoes in his direct view stopped him. Looking up, he almost went running. He probably would have too if he wasn't so emotionally drained already.

"I don't understand why you changed your keys," Eddie said, leaning against the door frame.

Okay, Blaine must be having a nightmare. Maybe he passed out of the subway and some hobo slipped him something. Eddie could not be here. He made it to Blaine on the wrong wedding day.

"Why are you here?" Blaine questioned, staring blankly at his ex-fiancé.

"Stopping you from doing something really, really dumb," Eddie said. "Come on, we can talk while we go."

Eddie took Blaine's hand only to have it immediately snatched back.

"I am not going anywhere!" Blaine spat.

"You're right!" Eddie exclaimed, taking away Blaine's keys. He shoved him away from the door and started to undo the lock. The door slipped open. "Get in your tux."

"Eddie, I'm not-"

"Give me ten minutes," Eddie said, tugging Blaine inside. "I will change your mind about going to this wedding."

"There's no possible way-"

"Blaine, put your tux on. He'll be married by the time we get there, and it'll be too late."

"You're coming?" Blaine asked, grabbing his tux from the closet.

"I was invited."

Halfway done unzipping the garment bag, Blaine looked over at Eddie, an _are-you-completely-serious-right-now?_ look on his face.

Eddie shrugged, reaching into his pocket, producing a familiar invitation.

"I understand that you're mad at me for being in love with Kurt and must be thrilled it didn't work out-"

"Blaine," Eddie interrupted, anger growing across his face. "I left you so you could be with Kurt. I now know that you cannot do anything without a little push, so I'm shoving you over the edge and forcing you to go get him!"

"Why?" Blaine asked, hastily buttoning up his dress shirt.

Eddie came closer, slapped Blaine's hands away, and fixed his buttons. "Because I love you, and I want you to be happy."

"Why don't you fight for me then? Maybe we can work something-"

"Blaine Anderson, do you hear yourself? This is the old college-Blaine talking. 'It won't work with Kurt; let me be with you.' I will not be your second choice. I'm not Kurt; I'll never be Kurt. Stop trying to replace him because you can't!"

Blaine stared at Eddie, eyes wide, mouth open, unmoving. If he ever felt another bad thing about Eddie, he'd just think back to this moment.

"Kurt doesn't want me, Eddie," Blaine muttered.

"Okay, now I'm going to drop some knowledge on you, Blaine. This is why in about ten second you will be running to get to that wedding," Eddie said, doing Blaine's tie. "He does want you."

"Keep talking…"

"Alek called me yesterday. He asked me directly why I left you. I told him it was because I knew how much you loved Kurt."

"You said that!" Blaine gasped.

"Hush, Blaine, he said he figured. He's scared he's losing Kurt."

"He's not. I tried to reason with Kurt yesterday, to tell him how I felt, but it didn't matter. He loves Alek. He's marrying Alek."

"Is that why at the rehearsal yesterday, he didn't say 'I do'? He second guessed himself. Alek was pissed! Kurt couldn't face him afterwards. He stayed at the hotel his family was staying at. And this morning…something happened."

"What? What happened? I was with him this morning!"

"Alek called me again. He said that Kurt found him and was hysterical," Eddie explained. Blaine's heart sunk, knowing exactly why Kurt was crying. "Kurt told him everything."

Slapping a hand over his lips, Blaine's whole body shuttered. "Define everything," he mumbled.

"Alek described it as one long rant. The things that stuck out to him were Kurt admitting to kissing you on New Years, what he told you the night of the bachelor party, and what happened yesterday during the rehearsal – how you both snuck off and how he wanted to kiss you but couldn't hurt Alek. Kurt admitted to loving you, Blaine. He told Alek the day of their wedding. You need to go get him because he's still going to marry Alek, and Alek is going to marry him just to keep him away from you. He's so terribly heartbroken that you're not coming, that you gave up, which you did."

The words made something in Blaine's brain turn on. Without even waiting for Eddie, he ran.

He had fifteen minutes to get to that wedding.

"I can't object," Blaine called over his shoulder at Eddie who chased after him down the hall. "When I even brought the idea up, Kurt almost castrated me."

"No, don't object. You need to talk to him before-hand," Eddie chanted.

"But if Alek gets left at the altar…"

"Maybe we can stop the wedding before it begins."

Before Blaine could get down another flight of steps, Eddie pulled him to a stop. Looking wild, Blaine gawked at him.

"I'm sorry I left you at the altar, Blaine. I had the best intentions but did it all wrong," Eddie said, holding Blaine's hand so tight that he could feel his heart pumping.

Taking one quick second, Blaine hugged Eddie. "You haven't done a thing wrong."

Pulling back and sharing one, brief, meaningful look, the two took down the steps.

By the time they got across town, it was four fifty-six. He had four minutes. Everyone was seated as Blaine and Eddie charged through the large acres of garden. Looking hard, he noticed no one was at the altar just yet. He had time but not a lot.

"Do you see Kurt?" Blaine called to Eddie who was frantically searching. Approaching the wedding would cause a scene, and Blaine didn't want to do that.

"There!' Eddie yelled, pointing across the field to a small group of people gathered around a smaller tree.

Blaine's heart leapt.

Grasping Eddie's hand, he choked out, "Thank you!" before slipping away and rushing to Kurt and everyone else.

Around all the girls, Kurt's back was to Blaine as he approached.

"I can't believe he didn't come," Rachel said frustrated, a hand on Kurt's shoulder.

"He's your best man. He shouldn't have- Blaine?" Mercedes gasped.

Kurt turned. Somehow the sun over the treetop hit off the back of his head in a scattered pattern, blinding everyone else out. His face went from horribly sad to terribly happy.

"Blaine!" Kurt cried, rushing to meet him halfway. "You're her-"

Blaine crashed into Kurt's body. His hand held on tight to Kurt's back. They almost fell – almost. As Kurt's body bent back, his one hand grabbed Blaine's cheek while the other took hold of his hair. Out of breath, out of time, Blaine covered Kurt's lips with his own.

Blaine fisted the fabric of Kurt's suit, pulling him closer. His head was spinning. Everything - the adrenaline, how much he was completely, hopeless, madly (and a million more descriptive words) in love with Kurt – hit him at once, and kissing him was the only way to tell him.

Kurt as so shocked, he couldn't even react. In his head, he was thinking: _Blaine's here. Blaine's holding me. Blaine's kissing me. I'm kissing Blaine. I'm kissing Blaine. We're kissing._

Desperately needing to breathe, Blaine pulled away. Gasping, he said, "I know that was terribly out of line, but-"

Kurt grabbed the back of Blaine's neck and tugged him forward, Blaine's words muffled in Kurt's mouth.

Blaine didn't know how long they kissed. Blaine didn't know if anyone else, aside from the bridal party, saw them. He didn't care. He stopped caring as Kurt's lips moved against his, and as Kurt held deplorably hard to keep their mouths in place.

Blaine got pulled back into reality at he heard music. With difficulty, they pulled away from each other, arms still very tangled together.

"I have to tell Alek."

Then Kurt rushed away. The bridal party chased after him. Blaine didn't follow. Surprised he could walk, he leisurely paced towards the wedding. He almost felt guilty to be this happy. He could look down the aisle, see Kurt next to Alek, and know he wasn't getting married.

As Blaine got closer, he realized how normal this wedding felt. He realized no one was upset. Standing where the white cloth started at the very last row of white chairs, he noticed Kurt and Alek staring fixated, in love...

Kurt was getting married.

"I do," Kurt vowed.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Yes, that is the mother of all cliffhangers ;)


	19. Who you can't be without

**Author's Note:** I'm getting the same emotion from all my readers: general chaos. So, instead of waiting a day or so, I'm updating now because I am astounded by the review outcome of that chapter! I want to hug each and every one of you and feed you cookies and milk! =)

Everything will be explained here =) Enjoy!

* * *

><p><em>When you just wanna fight, when you're closing your eyes<em>

'_Cause you don't wanna love me,_

_I'm gonna stay._

_You can't push me too far, where's no space in my heart_

_Where I don't wanna love you._

_-James Morrison_

_xo_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nineteen<strong>

"Who you can't be without."

_0 Days Until Kurt's Wedding_

"I should be happier," Kurt said, almost tragically.

Rachel reached forward, fixing a strand of hair that fell into his eyes. If Kurt wasn't so down, he would have slapped her hand away.

"I don't understand why you're not. Alek got hit by the sexy stick a few more times than necessary," Santana said, but her face was soft.

"_And_ he's a wonderful man who will treat you right," Mercedes added, glaring at Santana.

"Which is why this should feel like a wedding, not a funeral," Kurt lamented. "I just want Blaine to be here."

The last sentence wasn't supposed to leave his lips. Blaine's name crinkled Kurt's heart and hearing it, saying it devastated him. The girls crowding around him under the white orchid tree frowned but weren't surprised.

"I can't believe he didn't come," Rachel fumed, touching his shoulder.

"He's your best man. He shouldn't have- Blaine?" Mercedes started.

And the name twisted Kurt's heart again but not in a pained way. Turning, he saw Blaine. He ran at him, face red, looking completely frantic. Kurt moved without thought, closing the distance. He came; he was here to support his friend.

"Blaine!" Kurt cried. "You're her-"

But then Blaine took Kurt into his arms, and up close, Kurt saw the intent in Blaine's eyes. He came, but not as support, as rescue.

It took Kurt a second to realize that Blaine was kissing him, and by the time he did, Blaine was pulling away. Disappointed, slightly dizzy, Kurt breathed. Blaine was saying something, and Kurt should have tried to listen, but he didn't care. He didn't care that they were at his wedding, him about to marry another man. He didn't care that the girls were all behind him, probably mortified. He didn't care about anything expect the fact that he'd kissed Blaine and felt nothing.

So, pulling Blaine to his mouth, Kurt kissed him. And even though it was a hot June day, a chill crept down his spin, through his entire body, even reached his toes. Kurt was numb by it. That's what he was supposed to feel.

Something went off in his head – something like an explosion, something that paralyzed him, so he grasped Blaine harder and kissed him desperately. He didn't know how long he'd have until something went wrong, but everything was right, and Kurt didn't care about the rest. Only Blaine.

Suddenly, Blaine pulled away, and the cold spread to Kurt's lips. Eyes still closed, he felt Blaine's arms around him. Eyes open, he saw Blaine, and knew what he had to do.

"I have to tell Alek," he said shortly, taking off towards the altar.

The music had started playing. It was like twisted fate to be walking down the aisle as tradition, knowing exactly what he was walking to. Alek stood there, all handsome (and he found himself inappropriately agreeing with Santana), all strong, but not happy. And this confused Kurt.

When he reached the altar, Kurt took Alek's hands. "What is it?" he whispered, leaning towards him so that nobody should hear.

"I just really love you," Alek mumbled, not looking at him.

"Why do you look so sad then?"

Alek leaned even closer. "I can't force you to marry me."

Confused, Kurt said, "I've always wanted to be with you, Alek."

Seeing Alek like this broke his heart. Kurt thought back to the morning, when he confessed everything to his fiancé, and the look on Alek's face convinced Kurt to never, ever hurt him again, that marrying him was the right thing to do. Right there, in front of everyone who expected to see them get married, he was setting Kurt free. How could any of this be fair?

"It's not about who you can be with, Kurt. It's about who you can't be without," Alek mumbled. Talking only to Kurt, his lips grazing over his ear, Alek whispered, "You have to choose. Now or never."

The music stopped playing and the guests went dead silent. The priest cleared his throat.

"I love you," Alek said, gazing deeply into Kurt's eyes, as if by sheer wishing Kurt would be his, "but do you love him?"

"I do."

"I never could compete," Alek almost laughed. "Kurt, I don't want to be with you unless you're mine and I don't have to share. I won't marry you. I can't marry you."

"Wait, did I hear that correctly," the priest interrupted. "You two aren't getting married?"

Suddenly, a thick murmur of voices rose throughout the crowd. As Kurt gazed over the faces of friends and family who were shocked and upset, he saw one person who stood out particularly.

"Did you invite Eddie or am I hallucinating?" Kurt asked, eyes locked on Eddie.

"I did invite him, actually," Alek muttered.

Eddie's eyes flickered away from Kurt's. A second later, he was looking at him again. He repeated the action a few times until Kurt realized that Eddie was signaling to him. He wanted Kurt to look passed the crowd, passed the long extent of green grass, and just see. Kurt did. It was Blaine, trudging away, painfully slow, head dipped low. Kurt's eyes flew back to Alek's face.

"You can go," Alek whispered. "I'll say it was cold feet on my part, that you're devastated. Just…I can't handle seeing you two together, so please…"

Kurt touched Alek's face. "You can tell the truth: that I just wasn't good enough for you."

Kurt reached up and kissed Alek's cheek – he allowed himself this because it wasn't friendly and it wasn't intimate; it was middle. Looking into Alek's green eyes, Kurt dropped his hand and ran.

The crowd's murmurs turned to full voices and people were pulling out of their seats, right and left. Kurt's legs pushed him faster. The noise got quieter and quieter until it was back to a murmur. Kurt was nearing Blaine now.

"Blaine!" Kurt called.

Blaine froze and looked over his shoulder. Kurt dragged him away, sheltering them behind a large oak tree that rested next to a paved walking path.

"I don't understand," Blaine muttered, looking confused and hurt and surprised. "You're married and-"

"I'm not married," Kurt said taken back.

"But you said 'I do.' I heard you."

Kurt bit back a smile, understanding why Blaine walked away, understanding what Blaine must have heard.

"Wedding ceremonies are longer than five minutes, Blaine. If mine had gone according to plan, I probably wouldn't have said 'I do' yet."

Blaine brow furrowed. "What do you mean 'according to plan'?"

"Alek couldn't marry me."

"He couldn't marry you?"

"He didn't want to marry me knowing I was obviously in love with someone else," Kurt said softly, tracing his fingers along Blaine's jaw.

"Inside, I'm very happy, but I don't want to be insensitive on the outside."

Kurt grinned. "I needed for you to come back. I needed to just have a reason to stop this wedding, something solid, some sort of proof that this wasn't just nerves or something."

"So me kissing you…"

"Kissing you made me realize that what I felt for you was a hundred percent real, but it was what Alek said that made me sure I could never marry someone I wasn't a million percent in love with."

"What'd he say?"

"'It's not about who you can be with. It's about who you can't be without.' I hated hurting you both, and at times, seeing you two in shambles made my decisions for me. But I had to stop letting you two make up my mind. I love you both," Kurt explained then whispered, "I just love you more."

"And when did you realize that?"

Kurt thought for a second, thought if there was a definite moment where he'd made up his mind.

"When I kissed you, I knew I'd be content if we never stopped. I didn't care about the scene we were causing, or that I was seconds away from getting married. I kissed you and knew I was done fighting. I kissed you and knew I didn't want to kiss anyone else."

Blaine smiled, like really smiled, for the first time in so long.

"But I still love Alek, and I can't be with you just yet. I almost got married. I don't really want to be tied down to a boyfriend right now," Kurt said, a sprinkle of sass lighting up his eyes. "I just need time."

"I almost gave you up forever. I can definitely wait a few months."

Kurt took a step forward, pulling Blaine into his arms. "I just… I need to be by myself for a while. I need to live without relying on someone else. I want to know that I still can. So when I say that I need time, I need time on my own."

Blaine pressed a kiss into Kurt's hair and nodded against it.

* * *

><p><strong>July<strong>

Rachel was driving Kurt up a wall. He kept mentally thanking Blaine and Alek for saving him from living with her, which would have happened eventually if he hadn't lived with both of them. Ever since the wedding, Kurt's kept his distance from Alek, so his apartment was off limits unless he wasn't an awkward run-in. He missed a lot about his apartment – namely, his own closet and bed.

"Rachel, you need to stop using my hairspray! This costs $40 a bottle. That means you owe me a dollar for every time you hose down your Shirley Temple locks," Kurt said, ripping the bottle out of Rachel's hand.

"Kurt, I was just reaching across the counter and grabbed whichever one I got to first. It wouldn't be a problem if you didn't have so much stuff junk for your religious moisturizing routine," Rachel fought back, wrapping another piece of hair in her curler.

"As opposed to your cheap CVS brand face wash?"

Rachel pointed her iron at Kurt. "I may choose very soon to stop being so nice to you!"

Kurt placed a single finger on the covered top of Rachel's curler, pushing it away from his face.

"I may choose very soon to stop hiding your hideous animal sweaters."

"Oh please because my closet is half empty now, and I never have anything to wear anymore!" Rachel said sadly.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Your closet's half empty? I- I didn't even realize!" he gasped. "You know what, let me go to my old apartment and get some more of my clothes. Don't want to have the space go to waste!"

Before Rachel could argue, Kurt shut the bathroom door in her face and charged out of the apartment. He had to be quick. If he timed this right, Alek would be in his only summer class, and Kurt could be in and out without seeing him.

Truthfully, Kurt missed Alek. He was so used to him being around everyday, and all of a suddenly, he wasn't. Technically it was a breakup. Technically it felt like one. Still, somewhere inside, Kurt felt okay. This was probably because he knew Blaine was waiting for him.

He missed Blaine too. Kurt's gotten used to dealing without his friend because ever since getting engaged, they've spent a lot of time apart. It didn't stop Kurt from missing him though.

Kurt just needed time, still needs time, to see if he can function without someone always there holding his hand. He hasn't been single since sophomore year of college. Somewhere in that time lapse, he lost himself a little, and that scared him.

His old apartment building was familiar. He kind of missed that too. Everything was so new that he missed the old; he missed the little things he'd grow so accustom to, that until they'd gone he hadn't even noticed them there, like a working elevator or food in the fridge that wasn't for rabbits.

He pulled out his key as he reached his apartment door.

_Alek's apartment_, Kurt thought sternly. _I really need to find somewhere to live. Then again, I can strangle Rachel and have the place all to myself._

The thought comforted him.

Pushing inside, he noted that the lights were on. Gripping the knob really tight, he realized that Alek was home and that he needed to book it, fast. Stepping out quietly, he pulled the door with him.

He heard a yelp and caught a glimpse of a man running towards him with an umbrella. Kurt yelled, falling to the floor.

"Shit, Kurt, I thought you were a burglar!" a familiar voice said.

Pulling his eyes and himself up, Kurt met Eddie's gaze.

"Eddie, what the hell?" Alek and Kurt said in unison.

Hearing each other's voices, both men froze. Locking eyes over Eddie's figure, Kurt gave Alek a small wave. He returned a smile.

"What are you picking up today?" Alek asked pleasantly, approaching the pair, ripping the umbrella out of Eddie's hand. "This is dangerous," he said to Eddie, batting him on the head.

"The rest of my clothes," Kurt answered. "I've been secretly burning a lot of Rachel's ugliest sweaters; she'll thank me one day. Now, I actually have space for more of my things."

"Burn her charge card to Forever 21 while you're at it," Alek joked, leaning against the couch. Eddie gave him a shifty look.

"I'm sorry you're here. I thought you'd be in class. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable," Kurt quivered.

Alek shrugged. "It was bound to happen eventually."

Kurt nodded and walked into his old bedroom. It still looked the same. Alek didn't tear up their expensive Ralph Lauren Bedding, thankfully. Actually, a lot of the things Kurt had put in the room were still there. It kind of killed Kurt a little. Wasn't Alek mourning? Didn't Alek accept that Kurt wasn't coming back? He reached down and absentmindedly touched the silky sheets.

"I'm glad you're getting your clothes, actually," Alek said from the doorway. "I can finally buy more stuff now. Never could before. Never had anywhere to put it."

"You can hate me, you know," Kurt said abruptly. "I really hurt you."

"I actually plotted six different ways to throw you out the window in a matter of two minutes, believe it or not," Alek said seriously, eyes dark. "I'm kidding," he laughed, when Kurt stared gaping at him. "I don't hate you. I am slightly disappointed because we could be on our honeymoon right now, but…"

"You should have went," Kurt said sadly, turning all of his attention to the closet.

"It'd be a very bitter honeymoon," Alek said, mostly to himself. "So, you're living with Rachel?"

Kurt looked over his shoulder to find a genuinely good-humored Alek.

"Yes, and she's a miniature Jewish devil."

Alek smiled. "I've been shacking up with Eddie," he said casually, looking into the living room for a second.

Kurt gave him an _Oh-My-Freakin'-God!-What?_ look which made Alek laugh.

"Again, I am kidding," he said clearly.

Kurt laughed in a relieved kind of way.

"So, I don't know if it's out of place for me to ask…" Alek started then trailed off.

"Am I with Blaine?" Kurt finished before he could stop himself. Alek shyly nodded. "No, I'm not."

Shock was evident on Alek's face, and although he was trying to hide it, it wasn't working.

"Wait!" Eddie yelled from the living room. "You aren't with Blaine? Are you shitting me?"

Now, Kurt was the one to be surprised. "I just… I didn't want to rush into things. I just needed time to myself."

"And Blaine's okay with that?" Alek questioned.

"Probably not, but I haven't talked to him since the wedd- for a while."

"Well, I hope it all works out," Alek said.

"Really?" Kurt couldn't help but ask.

"I just want you to be happy, Kurt. Not everything is black and white."

Kurt felt like a ton of bricks collapsed on his heart. "Why can't you be awful? This hurts so much more than you being all pissy!"

"Maybe that was the plan," Alek said smugly.

"Touché," Kurt said with a smile, wrapping his arms around his clothes.

As Kurt heading out into the living room, ready to walk out of the apartment, he turned.

"I am sorry. I'm sorry to both of you," Kurt muttered then spun around before either of them met his eye.

"All I can say is, you'd better not let Blaine get away or all of this will have gone to shit, and then we'd actually be really ticked off at you two," Eddie said roughly.

Kurt smiled, nodding his head.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>: I love seeing stuff about this story on Tumblr! It actually makes me freak out a little bit! Hahaha. It's happened on 3 occations. =)

Ps. I do have a Tumblr. I'm myheartwonxxo !


	20. Letting go would mean forever

**Author's Note:** I feel like the tenses are all effed up, so sorry about that…

* * *

><p><em>And if you say we'll be alright,<em>

_I'm gonna trust you, babe._

_I'm gonna look in your eyes,_

_And if you say we'll be alright,_

_I'll follow you into the light._

_-Sarah Bareilles_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty<br>**Letting go would mean forever.

**January 2013**

In Kurt's head, he was walking by his old dorm building Hayden Hall for no reason. In Kurt's heart, he was doing this because of Blaine. He had no idea when the right time was to contact him. Months had passed. The first month was dedicated to getting over Alek. The second month was used to see if Kurt could manage alone. The third month, when the sting from Alek was minimal and his attempts at being single were fairing quite well, he got a promotion at work. So, since then, he's thrown himself into his fashion. That's the age old dilemma, isn't it? Love or work?

Kurt wasn't choosing one over the other, at least, initially he hadn't, but as the months flew by, he's used work as a vise to distract him from how much he missed Blaine. He misses Blaine – not the having someone to hold, not the kissing, not any of that. He missed Blaine's laugh, the way his eyes light up when you suddenly swooped into the perfect subject change, his smell, the way he hummed absentmindedly. Kurt just missed his best friend.

And as he walked passed Hayden Hall and down the street, he allowed himself to think about Blaine. It's been six months. Why has it been six months?

He was scared. This he knew. He was scared about moving into that next step with Blaine. He was scared of getting hurt; he was scared of losing himself again. Part of him was also guilty. He didn't deserve to be happy, not after what he's done. So, with the driving force between those two emotions, he hasn't talked to Blaine in six months.

After the third month, contacting Blaine didn't even seem appropriate. He's waited too long. Blaine probably hates him. Blaine has probably moved on. The thought brings a chill to his already cold bones.

It's freezing out. This also made him think of Blaine – how much he hated the snow and the cold. For tonight, he's allowing himself to think about him, so that maybe after tonight, he'll have the courage to bring Blaine back into his life.

Kurt cups his hands, fingertips poking out of tops of his fingerless gloves, and blows his warm breath onto them. As he's about to call a cab because the cold has gotten to him, he realizes where he is.

He's standing in front of La Lanterna di Vittorio. Kurt didn't recognize the name, but he recognized the little café. It hasn't changed. It's still tiny and doesn't look welcoming, but he knows that inside the doors, it's warm and friendly. This was the first place him and Blaine ate in their quest to go to every single restaurant in New York (a quest Kurt hasn't attempted since their time apart). Tonight was about Blaine, so Kurt walked inside.

"Hello there, honey!" a sweet lady almost half the size of Kurt called. "Where are you sitting tonight?"

Kurt let himself think about the answer before he said it, even though he knew where he was going. "The garden, please."

In Kurt's mind, he had a vivid image of the dining area. Its brick walls, vinery wrapping to the middle of the room, large windowed ceiling that let the sky set the mood, and candles and little flickering lights – lots of those. As the double glass doors opened, the picture in his mind was just solidified. It was exactly what he remembered.

"Take a seat. Someone will be with you shortly," she said kindly.

He slowly skipped down the two brick seats but stopped once his feet hit the floor. There was a boy in the corner that looked dangerously like Blaine. Kurt's heart pounded, and he was afraid it'd catch the boy's attention.

Frozen, he didn't know what to do. The boy was humming something as he stirred his spoon in his cup. It dawned on Kurt that he wasn't a Blaine look-alike. This was Blaine. Before he could turn or breathe or close his eyes, Blaine looked up. The humming stopped and the spoon went into the cup with an audible _clank_.

_You're a cheater_, Blaine's eyes read in the candlelight. _No place twice, remember?_

_You're here too, so you're as much of a cheat as I am_, Kurt threw back, a haughty smile pulling on his lips.

_Why are you here? _Blaine's face asked.

_I was headed to my apartment._Kurt returned, pacing forward.

Blaine grinned at his cup then looked up again. _It's on the other side of town, Kurt._

Kurt was at the table now. "I know," he said. "I took the wrong subway," which was partly true. He didn't have any intentions of going to NYU. His feet decided their destination long before his brain realized. Also, he got lost in New York regularly, so this wasn't out of the ordinary.

He eyed the chair across from Blaine like it was the only water for miles and he was dying of thirst in the desert. Blaine smiled but tucked it behind his folded hands.

"Go on," Blaine insisted.

Hesitantly, Kurt took the seat. Awkwardly, he pulled the menu over his face. The waitress rushed over to take their orders. Once she was gone, Kurt fumbled with the sugar dispenser, not really knowing what else to do.

"How have you been?" Blaine asked, silently stirring his, what Kurt realized was, tea.

"I've been good," Kurt replied. "I mean, I live with Rachel, but it's not all bad."

Blaine snorted. "How isn't she dead?"

Kurt smiled, despite himself. "I'm generous, and with the occasional torching of her toddler clothes, I feel a lot saner."

"Did you get to the sweater with the owl that ogles at you?" Blaine questioned, sipping at his drink.

Kurt nodded happily. "That was the first to go!"

The two shared a smile, but both dropped their gaze and let the smiles sink into their hands.

"I also got a promotion. I am no longer an intern," Kurt added.

Blaine placed his mug down. "That's really great, Kurt."

"Yes, it's one more step to leaving behind the idiots at the office and starting my own line. I'm slowly getting there! What about you?"

"I got a new job," Blaine said casually. "I work for Sony Music Company. I'm lower than I was before, but if I keep working, I'll move on up. Literally. The higher you are in the building, the more successful you are."

"So, where are you? 1st floor? Basement? Lobby?"

"Parking lot."

They shared another smile, but this time, they didn't drop it.

"I come here a lot, you know," Blaine admitted, taking the sugar from Kurt's hands to add more to his drink. "This was my favorite restaurant of them all."

Kurt leaned forward against the table. "I still like Berger's, the salad joint."

Blaine nodded in agreement. There was an awkward silence, something that never happened between them. Even on their first meeting, unpacking, listening all of Blaine's Broadway music from his iPod, there wasn't a dull moment.

Both had questions. Neither knew if the questions were appropriate to ask.

"Does the waiter that hit on my still work here?" Kurt suddenly blurted.

Blaine's eyes lit up with the memory. "He does, actually and asks about you all the time."

"Does he really?" Kurt laughed.

"Yes, and he gets right to the hard hitting questions. _Are you good in bed? Do you have any strange fetishes?_ That sort of thing."

Kurt flicked sugar at Blaine who giggled. "You are hilarious."

Blaine continued to laugh. "I haven't seen him."

"Good. I didn't want to have to go ninja on his ass!"

Blaine rolled his eyes but maintained the smile on his lips. Kurt rested his hand in his palm and just took Blaine in.

Without even realizing, Kurt muttered, "I've missed you."

With soft eyes, Blaine said, "I miss you, too."

"I should have called or texted or Facebooked you or anything – email, Farmville request, something to let you know I was still around, that I cared," Kurt confessed.

"You needed time," Blaine shrugged. "I gave it to you."

Kurt nodded. As he opened his mouth to speak again, their meal arrived. It was a temporary distraction. Silence lingered for the second time, and neither of them liked it.

"Have you talked to Alek?" Blaine off-handedly asked, cutting his chicken.

"When I went to get some of my clothes, he was home. We talked for about ten minutes before I darted out. It was awkward," Kurt admitted, snapping his fork into a croton.

"It was like that with Eddie at first-"

"Oh, you're talking to Eddie again? Kurt said carefully, his heart sinking slightly.

"Yeah, I have been for a few months now."

"Isn't that…risky?"

Blaine shook his head, paying close attention to his meal. "I don't think so."

Kurt put his fork down. "Blaine, I'm sorry I've ignored you, but you really shouldn't be running back to-"

"Woah, Kurt, slow down," Blaine insisted. "I'm not running back to anyone. Eddie and I are friends. There's nothing there anymore."

Kurt nodded, looking sheepishly into his salad.

"Besides," Blaine continued, "I think he's seeing someone."

Kurt's eyes rose up. "Who?"

Blaine chewed his current bite unbelievably slow. He answered quietly, as he covered his mouth with a napkin. Kurt almost missed it.

"Um, no one. Alek. No big deal."

Kurt's eyebrows rose. "Alek?"

"Yeah, they've been talking and stuff. I mean, they've always been friends because of us, and I guess they've leaned on each other since their situations are currently similar," Blaine said in a rush. "And then they just…liked each other. Eddie doesn't really talk to me about his love life. It's understandable."

Kurt slowly nodded his head. "Good for them, I guess."

"Yeah."

"We wasted the time they could have shared together," Kurt muttered. "That's kind of unfortunate."

Blaine stopped eating. He just gazed at Kurt. Kurt felt his stare boring into his face. Kurt looked up fast then pressed down closer to his meal.

"Are you seeing anyone?" Kurt questioned, mostly to his salad.

"No," Blaine answered shortly.

"Me neither," Kurt said casually.

There was a long break in conversation until Blaine spoke. "I kind of thought…nevermind."

Kurt picked his head up. "You kind of though…what?"

Blaine bit his lips before muttering, "I've been waiting for you."

"You shouldn't have. I'm a lousy friend."

Blaine shuffled uneasily in his seat. "I wasn't really waiting for you as a friend."

Kurt shuffled uneasily as well. He looked into Blaine's already staring eyes. Suddenly, he was short on breath.

"When were you gonna call?" Blaine asked.

"I don't know," Kurt said honestly. "I haven't been ready."

"Ready for what?"

"To be more than just your friend."

Blaine broke the awkward barrier set between them by reaching across the table and taking Kurt's hand. Kurt's fingers tingled in Blaine's.

"I want to be with you, Kurt, and I'll keep waiting, but I miss you, and not the kissing or all that stuff we never used to do. I miss you and me and talking about nothing, and your phone calls at all hours of the day when you're desperately lost in the city, or the way you won't let anyone come anywhere near your hair, and how we've contemplated burning Rachel's ugly-ass sweaters for months at a time. I miss my best friend," Blaine confessed, tightening his grip on Kurt's hand as if letting go would mean forever. "I don't care if you never want to be my boyfriend. I'll live. But the thought of you not in my life…it's unfathomable."

Kurt gripped against Blaine's fingers, and the muscles in his fingers constricted at the pressure.

"I'm just scared," Kurt finally said out loud. "Everything that comes with a relationship, I don't know if I want to do all that drama with you. I don't want to wake up one morning, decide I don't want to be with you anymore, end things, and lose my best friend in the process."

Blaine dropped his hand and slipped his hand across Kurt's cheek until his fingertips lightly touched Kurt's soft hair. Blaine was allowed to touch, but he's the only one.

"Everything is risky, but I'm with you, Kurt, and when I'm with you, I'm not scared."

Kurt smiled, touching Blaine's hand that held his face.

Blaine leaned forward. "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Kurt gazed into Blaine's eyes and knew that Blaine really wanted him to consider this. His eyes fluttered shut.

Where would he be in five years?

_Kurt rocked on his heels, impatiently. The secretary behind the tall desk pressed a button on her phone that made a loud buzz._

"_Mr. Hummel's here to see you, sir," she said in her high, nasally voice._

"_Send him in," a familiar voice said over the intercom._

"_Go," she said shortly, returning to her paperwork._

_Kurt tried really hard not to roll his eyes but couldn't help the constant desire to glue her to her office chair. Smiling at the idea, he pushed through the tall wooden door directly in front of him._

_It was quiet inside; all Kurt could hear was a low hum of music and a pen being scratched across paper. Kurt approached the desk, his arms holding his sketch book close to his chest. He dropped the book slowly onto the table and reached across to pull the pencil into his own hand._

_Kurt tossed his over his shoulder and leaned into the man holding it, kissing him softly on the lips. When he pulled back, Blaine was smiling up at him._

"_Why did you feel the need to throw my pencil?" he asked with a chuckle._

"_Why do you feel the need to not fire that frizzy bitch that calls herself your secretary, when she's probably playing Solitaire online?" Kurt retorted, rounding the table to lean against the glass window. The view was pretty great from the tenth floor._

"_She's a good secretary, Kurt," Blaine laughed swiveling side-to-side in his chair, a nasty habit that Kurt took the liberty of controlling with a simple block of his foot._

"_If she was working for Satan. Wait, actually…"_

_Blaine launched forward, tugging Kurt back to him. Kurt held the arm rests as Blaine stared up at him._

"_Why are you here?" Blaine said.._

"_I have to show you these!" Kurt said cheerfully, jumping up to get his sketchbook. "You have to tell him the truth, okay? Because Chloe said I could show her some of my designs, and if they're crap…"_

_Blaine flipped through Kurt's book, grinning down into the pages. "These are amazing, Kurt! And I'm not just saying that because you'll make me sleep on the couch otherwise. These are great!"_

_Kurt blushed, which was obvious against his pale skin. Blaine reached up and rubbed his rosy cheek._

"_You're going to knock 'em dead."_

_Kurt smiled._

As Kurt's eyes began to flutter open, Blaine said, "How about in 10 years? What do you see in ten years?"

Kurt thought hard.

In ten years…

"_I don't need to take a break!" Kurt cried, tugging away from Blaine._

_Blaine rolled his eyes. "Kurt, you almost stabbed me with your scissors. You've been making samples for your designs for at least 20 hours straight. You need to calm down!"_

"_I do not! I need to finish!" Kurt fought, trying to go back to his work._

_Blaine hugged Kurt's stomach from behind and started to place small kissing on his boyfriend's neck. Kurt immediately softened._

_Blaine whispered against his neck, "I planned something overly romantic and completely repetitive. Will you follow me?"_

"_Keep kissing me there, I'll follow you to Ohio on foot."_

_Blaine laughed, grasping Kurt's hand. When they moved into their apartment, within the first day, they found the roof. The city buzzed below them, and the lights sparkled around them. It reminded them of their nights at NYU._

_Blaine had already set out a blanket with tons of pillows. The two plopped down, easing into each other's arms._

"_There's a meteor shower tonight," Blaine whispered into Kurt's ear._

_Kurt looked up at Blaine, smiling. "We haven't tried to watch one of those since college!"_

_Blaine nuzzled his head into Kurt's hair, breathing in his sweet smelling product. "I worry about you sometimes. You're going to work yourself until there's nothing left."_

"_I just get worried and have to make multiple samples and am testy with the people I hire because I think everyone is an idiot, so I feel the need to do everything myself," Kurt rambled, digging his face into Blaine's neck._

"_You just need to take breaks. You're getting wrinkles."_

_Kurt gasped, pulling away. "WHAT?"_

_Blaine laughed and leaned forward. "Yes. There." He kissed a wrinkle on Kurt's face. "And here." Kiss. "Here." Kiss._

_Kurt pushed him away. "I get it. I get it. I'm getting old."_

_Blaine kissed Kurt's lips. "Not even in a hundred and fifty years, when technology will be able to keep us alive for centuries – not even then."_

_Kurt laughed, tucking himself against Blaine's body. They stayed like this for a few hours, gazing up at the sky, trying to see stars through the lights and the clouds._

_Kurt gasped, wrenching away from Blaine. "OH MY GOD, DO YOU SEE IT? THERE! JUST THERE!" he yelled, pointing to the heavens._

_Blaine squinted. It was distant and light but existed – a tiny little shooting star._

"_I'm so excited! I've never seen one before! This is amazing! This night goes down in history as the night I saw my first shooting star. Wow! Blaine? Blaine, why aren't you as happy as I am?"_

_He turned and saw how sweetly Blaine was gazing at him._

"_I am happy."_

"_I love you," Kurt whispered, leaning forward to kiss Blaine._

_And against his lips, Blaine asked, "Will you marry me?"_

_Kurt pulled away, his mouth falling open._

"_Correction," Kurt said, eyes becoming glossy. "Tonight is the night I saw my first shooting star and the night I said yes to marry my future husband."_

_Blaine smiled._

Kurt's stomach was a flutter, and he caught himself smiling like a fool.

"What do you see in twenty years, Kurt?" Blaine asked really silently, and Kurt fell back into his imagination.

_The building looked really scary, Blaine and Kurt decided as they walked inside. It was_ _like something out of a horror movie. Even the lights of the main hallway flickered ominously. A kind voice glided through the hall, and it broke the tension the building had over the two._

"_You_ _must be Kurt and Blaine!" a young, vibrant woman said, holding a child in both of her arms. She grinned between them as one pulled at her necklace and the other smiled cheerfully back._

_Kurt looked sideways to see how_ _wide Blaine's smile had become._

"_If you'd just go down the hall, the really tall brunette in the play room will be able to help you. I just need to get out the paperwork, and I'll be right in."_

_Nervously, Kurt took Blaine's hand. Blaine gave it a little squeeze, digging his ring into his finger, almost painfully._

_They walked into the turquoise room. The walls looked like the sea, painted with bright colors and childlike pictures. From the ceiling hung crafts obviously made by the kids. Kurt gazed around the room, taking in the scenery. Blaine gazed at the floor, taking in a dozen or so sleeping children._

"_You must be Kurt and Blaine!" the tall brunette whispered, walking over to them. "Come on into the hallway. The little tykes only have a minute or so left of their naptime."_

_She led them away, much to their displeasure._

"_Where are the older kids?" Kurt questioned immediately, consumed in curiosity._

_The brunette laughed, "It's a school day. The kids from 1rd_ _and up go to the public school. They'll be back around three."_

"_How does this work, exactly?" Blaine asked, glancing back at the room. "Do we just go in there and pick one?"_

"_Basically. I mean, your paperwork, background checks, all that fun stuff is all done. You don't have to 'pick' any of them today; no, not at all. I'd actually recommend coming back multiple times, especially when the older kids are here. Get to know the kids, and let them get to know you," she said sweetly, patting each of their arms. "Adoption is a big step."_

_The first lady came prancing down the hall. "I need to ring the bell, Claire!" she said frantically. "They have to have their coloring time now or snack time will be late and they'll be antsy."_

_She handed the little baby's off to Claire and charged into the room. Claire smiled, nudging her head towards the room. Blaine and Kurt followed. The bell rang and the kids jumped up like they had ants in their pants._

"_Get your crayons and go to your stations!" Claire called over the ruckus. "Miss Annie and I will hand out the papers for Coloring Time!"_

_She placed the two babies into a crib and started to hand out papers._

"_Everyone, before you start coloring, I want you to say hello to our two new friends: Kurt and Blaine," Annie said really slowly so the rest could hear._

"_Hi, Kurt and Blaine!" the kiddies yelled enthusiastically._

"_Now, they're_ _here to spend some time with you all and will help if you need anything! So just ask!" Claire said, handing out the last of the papers._

_Blaine grasped Kurt's hand quickly before taking off towards the back of the room. Kurt remained in the front._

_A little girl with blonde hair smiled up at him._

"_Hi there, my name's Kurt," Kurt said, kneeling down next to her._

"_I'm Penny!" she almost yelled, her smile bright on her face._

"_What are you thinking of drawing, Penny?"_

_Penny picked up a blue crayon and a red crayon. "Which one is prettiest?"_

_Kurt pretended to think hard for a second. "I like red."_

"_Me too!" she said in a dreamy voice, tossing her blue crayon onto the table._

_As she started to draw, Kurt pulled himself up. Blaine was motioning for him to come to him._

"_They're all so cute. I was talking to some of them. Tanner wants to be an astronaut; Sandra wants to be a police officer, and Connor wants to be a fire truck."_

_Kurt stifled a laugh. "Dream big."_

"_I don't know how we're going to choose!" Blaine said very softly and kind of sadly as well. "Didn't you want someone older? Maybe we shouldn't get attached."_

"_I don't know. I think whichever one leaves their mark on us is probably the right one."_

"_Mr. Kurt!" a tiny voice cried._

_Kurt turned and saw Penny standing next to him, her eyes bright._

"_Yes, Penny?"_

"_I finished!" she said, holding up her picture._

_Kurt took it and held it so that Blaine could see as well. Penny had drawn two people, both outlined in red. One had curly black hair, and one had short brown hair. They were holding hands. In the background was a little house, complete with grass, flowers, and a little dog. There was a heart over the two stick figures. There was also a heart over a small empty space_

"_What'd you draw, Penny?" Kurt asked, looking over the picture._

"_It's two daddies with a house and a puppy and everything and they love each other a lot!" Penny described._

"_What's this?" Blaine questioned, his finger pointing to the empty heart._

"_The two daddies want one of us to come with them," Penny said, eyes hopeful. "That's what happens; mommies and daddies come in here and take us away. And I get sad for a while because I have to say goodbye to my friends, but I want a mommy and daddy too! I want someone to take me home and love me. But I don't need a mommy. I'd be happy with two daddies. If you want, I can draw myself in that little heart."_

_Kurt gripped Blaine's hand really tight. Blaine gripped back._

"_Yeah, Penny, yeah, go draw yourself in there," Kurt whispered, touching Penny's hair._

_Smiling, she skipped away. Kurt fell into Blaine's arms._

_They both smiled._

Kurt peeled his eyes open.

"So, did you see anything?" Blaine asked, holding onto Kurt's hands. "Did you see anything good? What'd you see?"

Kurt got up out of his chair and leaned across the table.

"This," he whispered. He kissed Blaine lightly as if kissing him would seal the maybe future he saw in his mind. He wanted it. He wanted all of it. "You. I saw us."

Blaine smiled, like bright and happily. "Now, I know why Alek and Eddie didn't like around each other."

Kurt laughed, flopping back down into his chair. The rest of the night played on nicely. They talked without tension. They talked all the way until the restaurant was closing and they were asked to leave.

Snow was falling softly was they walked into the night. Everything felt calm.

"Kurt?" Blaine questioned a block or so down the road. "Could I ask you something?"

Kurt, who's hands were in his pockets, looked over at Blaine. "Hmm?"

Blaine stopped them, stood in front of Kurt. He placed his hands on Kurt's arms, sliding them down until he pulled Kurt's hands out of his jacket, holding onto them.

"I love you," he said plainly.

Kurt smiled. "I love you, too."

Blaine took a long, exaggerated breath. "Will you marry me?"

Kurt's mouth plunged open. He dropped Blaine's hands fast.

Almost gasping for breath, he answered, "No way in hell!"

Blaine's eyes twinkled, and a smile started to form on his lips. Suddenly, he was hugging Kurt, lifting his feet off the ground.

"Thank God!" Blaine exclaimed happily.

Kurt laughed at the obvious joke, and Blaine joined him, and as the snow fell, all the street were, were snow, Kurt, Blaine, and laughter.

"No more weddings for a while. Please," Kurt said finally. "Ask me again in ten years."

Blaine leaned forward, said, "Will do," and kissed Kurt.

**The End.**

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> It's been a pleasure writing this story =)

Tumblr: myheartwonxxo


End file.
